"SNL
PRESENTS: SPORTS ALL-STARS" SUNDAY, JANUARY 31 FROM 9:00 PM -
11:00 PM ET ON NBC
New
York, N.Y., January 25th, 2010.
"Saturday Night Live" premieres a new sports
compilation, "SNL Presents: Sports All-Stars," on Sunday,
January 31 from 9:00 pm - 11:00 pm ET.
The two hour special will be hosted by Jason Sudeikis and Will Forte
in character as "ESPN Classic Commentators," "Pete
Twinkle" and "Greg Stink." "SNL Presents: Sports
All-Stars" will highlight SNL appearances by iconic athletes such
as Peyton Manning, Derek Jeter, LeBron James, Michael Jordan, Tom
Brady and Charles Barkley.
The show will debut some brand new material and also include favorite
sports-themed sketches from SNL's 35-year history, including
"United Way" featuring Peyton Manning, "Sportscenter"
with Ray Romano, Will Ferrell as "Harry Caray" and
"ESPN Classic: Ladies Bowling."
(Back To Top)
**************************************************************************************************************
CATCH
THE FANFARE OF FOX FEBRUARY
Los
Angeles, Ca., January
25th, 2010.
This
February, FOX delivers major television events. Here are the
highlights, night by night, for this February on FOX:
MONDAY
Spend
Mondays this February with two of TV’s most riveting leading men –
Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) and Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) –
on all-new and encore episodes of HOUSE and four all-new thrilling
installments of 24.
Monday,
Feb. 8
HOUSE
(8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “5 to 9”
During
a day in the life of Princeton Plainsboro’s Dean of Medicine, Dr.
Lisa Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein), the inner workings of the hospital are
seen through her eyes.
24
(9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Day 8: 10:00 PM-11:00 PM”
After
averting the assassination attempt on foreign peacekeeping leader Omar
Hassan (Anil Kapoor), Jack Bauer’s day intensifies while working
undercover with Renee Walker (Annie Wersching) to secure the enriched
nuclear materials. As international delegates reconvene at the United
Nations, President Taylor’s (Cherry Jones) goodwill comes into
question and CTU races against time to assist with the mission.
Monday,
Feb. 15
HOUSE
(8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Known Unknowns”
In
an encore episode, a teenage girl (guest star Anna Attanasio) is
brought to Princeton Plainsboro with severely swollen appendages after
a wild night out. The team must work to diagnose the young girl who,
at first, is less than honest about what happened the night she fell
ill and later becomes incapable of distinguishing fact from fiction.
Meanwhile, Cuddy, Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) and House spend a
weekend away from the hospital to attend a medical conference, but
things don’t go as planned when House’s private investigator,
Lucas (guest star Michael Weston), returns.
24
(9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Day 8: 11:00 PM-12:00 AM”
President
Taylor pressures CTU for progress while Jack’s perilous plan has
operatives panicked. As the scope of the looming threat expands, the
dynamic at CTU changes and the ongoing crisis worsens.
Monday,
Feb. 22
HOUSE
(8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Teamwork”
In
another encore episode, House’s medical license is reinstated in
time for him to reclaim his role as Head of Diagnostics to treat Hank
Hardwick (guest star Troy Garity), an adult film star admitted for
pulsating eye pain. Meanwhile, Cuddy is reminded that Princeton
Plainsboro is not conducive to healthy personal relationships.
24
(9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Day 8: 12:00 AM-1:00 AM”
As
Jack’s day enters the early morning hours, the nation remains
vulnerable, and President Taylor presses on with her international
peace process. With the possibility of colossal failure facing CTU,
attention turns to who is to blame, and things get personal when
operatives take matters into their own hands.
Monday,
March 1
HOUSE
(8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Wilson”
When
Wilson’s old friend and former patient (guest star Joshua Malina)
exhibits paralysis in his right arm, Wilson puts himself on the case
in an encore episode. House wagers that the patient’s symptoms are
attributed to new cancer cells, but Wilson, reluctant to believe that
the disease is back, works overtime to diagnose the patient with
anything but cancer. After things take a turn for the worse, Wilson
must address his inability to separate patient from friend. Meanwhile,
Cuddy seeks advice in her search for real estate.
24
(9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Day 8: 1:00 AM-2:00 AM”
As
the terror threat continues, the Hassan family turmoil fans the flames
of the increasingly urgent situation. When Jack closes in on a person
of significant interest, a tense meeting between President Taylor and
Omar Hassan takes an unexpected turn as the global security stakes are
raised.
TUESDAY
This
February, FOX Tuesdays deliver a special preview of mysterious new
drama PAST LIFE and not-to-be-missed AMERICAN IDOL installments,
including Ellen DeGeneres’ first episode, the Hollywood Round
episodes and the first LIVE performance show of the season.
Tuesday,
Feb. 9
AMERICAN
IDOL (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Hollywood Round #1”
Ellen
DeGeneres joins judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi
and host Ryan Seacrest in Hollywood to begin winnowing down the
contestants. Hopefuls chosen from around the nation endure a grueling
rehearsal schedule and pressure-packed auditions as they vie for a
coveted spot among the Top 24. Who will survive and who will go home?
PAST
LIFE (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Pilot” – Series Preview
Dr.
Kate McGinn (Kelli Giddish) and her partner, former NYPD detective
Price Whatley (Nicholas Bishop), attempt to help Noah (guest star
Cayden Boyd), a teen suffering from regression episodes – repressed
memories from a past life – in which Noah remembers a previous
life’s kidnapping and murder. Together with Dr. Malachi Talmadge
(Richard Schiff) and Dr. Rishi Karna (Ravi Patel), Kate and Price work
to identify who Noah was previously and to track down the killer of a
crime committed 14 years earlier.
Tuesday,
Feb. 16
AMERICAN
IDOL (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Hollywood Round #3”
Hollywood
Week continues as Simon, Randy, Kara and Ellen narrow down the
contestants even further. Find out who makes the cut and who is
sent home.
Tuesday,
Feb. 23
AMERICAN
IDOL (8:00-10:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed) – “Top 12 Girls
Compete”
The
Top 12 female semifinalists take the AMERICAN IDOL stage for the first
time to perform LIVE for the judges and for the nation. On this
season’s first night of voting, the contestants will sing their
hearts out in hopes of winning America’s vote and surviving another
week in the competition. Tune in to see who impresses the judges and
who buckles under the pressure.
Tuesday,
March 2
AMERICAN
IDOL (8:00-10:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed) – “Top 10 Girls
Compete”
The
countdown is on as the Top 10 female semifinalists perform. Then
it’s up to America to vote for their favorites.
WEDNESDAY
On
Wednesday nights this February, FOX presents two all-new episodes of
new action-drama HUMAN TARGET and four all-new installments of
AMERICAN IDOL.
Wednesday,
Feb. 10
HUMAN
TARGET (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Run”
Chance
(Mark Valley) is hired to protect a female district attorney (guest
star Kristin Lehman) whose sordid family history and investigation
into local organized crime has her marked for murder.
AMERICAN
IDOL (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Hollywood Round #2”
The
pressure is on for the Hollywood contestants who must perform for the
judges in hopes of securing a spot in the Top 24.
Wednesday,
Feb. 17
HUMAN
TARGET (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Lockdown”
Chance,
Winston (Chi McBride) and Guerrero (Jackie Earle Haley) devise an
elaborate plan to break into a maximum-security high-rise to rescue a
computer genius (guest star Kevin Weisman) being held against his
will. Also guest-starring in the all-new episode are Autumn Reeser,
Mitch Pileggi and Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon.
AMERICAN
IDOL (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Hollywood Round #4 / Top 24
Chosen”
The
judges make their final cuts tonight as this season’s semifinalists
– 12 boys and 12 girls – are revealed.
Wednesday,
Feb. 24
AMERICAN
IDOL (8:00-10:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed) – “Top 12 Boys
Compete”
The
Top 12 male semifinalists sing their hearts out LIVE for America and
the AMERICAN IDOL judges. After the performances, America votes.
Wednesday,
March 3
AMERICAN
IDOL (8:00-10:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed) – “Top 10 Boys
Compete”
The
Top 10 male semifinalists perform LIVE in hopes of moving on in the
competition.
THURSDAY
This
February, FOX serves up the winter finales of BONES and FRINGE, the
series premiere and two additional all-new episodes of intriguing new
drama PAST LIFE and the first LIVE results show of the newest season
of AMERICAN IDOL.
Thursday,
Feb. 4
BONES
(8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “The Devil in the Details” – Winter
Finale
In
the BONES winter finale, Brennan (Emily Deschanel) and Booth (David
Boreanaz) investigate a set of uniquely disfigured remains
allegorizing biblical text on the battle between good and evil.
FRINGE
(9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Jacksonville” – Winter Finale
Worlds
collide with unthinkable results in the FRINGE winter finale. A
Manhattan office building is rattled to its core, leaving only one
survivor (guest star Jim True-Frost), and the Fringe Team examines his
otherworldly origins. Once Walter (John Noble) surmises that what
shook the building was something he discovered many years ago, the
team races to Jacksonville to help Olivia (Anna Torv) reconnect with
her past in order to avert what they fear will happen next.
Thursday,
Feb. 11
BONES
(8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken”
In
an encore episode, Brennan and Booth investigate the remains of a
victim who they believe was half-man/half-chicken.
PAST
LIFE (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Dead Man Talking” – Series
Premiere
The
Talmadge Center team meets Corrine (guest star Betty Gilpin), a young
woman dealing with addiction whose regression episodes include graphic
details of a violent crime scene. Kate and Price travel to Florida in
hopes of uncovering Corrine’s role in the crime, which could also
help save an innocent death row inmate (guest star Afemo Omilami) from
execution.
Thursday,
Feb. 18
BONES
(8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “The Dwarf in the Dirt”
In
an encore episode, Stephen Fry returns as Dr. Gordon Wyatt. Booth,
still suffering some lingering effects from his brain surgery, has to
get re-certified for FBI marksmanship, but is not the accurate shot he
was before going under the knife. He and Brennan investigate the death
of a little person who was a former wrestling star.
PAST
LIFE (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Soul Music”
When
two people (guest stars Katherine Boecher and Nick Wechsler) share the
same flashbacks/regressive episodes, Kate, Price, Malachi and Rishi
discover the couple are star-crossed lovers who rediscover each other
in each life, and the team must go to great lengths to keep the pair
from fulfilling a destructive pattern.
Thursday,
Feb. 25
AMERICAN
IDOL (8:00-9:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed) – “4 Finalists
Eliminated”
During
the first LIVE results show of the season, four semifinalists – two
girls and two boys – will be eliminated from the competition and
sent home.
PAST
LIFE (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Saint Sarah”
When
a young girl (guest star Juliette Goglia) exhibits physical
manifestations from traumatic past-life memories, she is dubbed a
saint by the media and is brought to the team’s attention. From
saint to sinner, the “Saint” Sarah case leads Kate and Price to a
serial killer.
FRIDAY
Get
ready for tongue-lashings courtesy of Dr. Gregory House and Chef
Gordon Ramsay this February on FOX Fridays with new and encore
installments of HOUSE and KITCHEN NIGHTMARES. Plus, celebrate the 41ST
NAACP IMAGE AWARDS live on Feb. 26!
Friday,
Feb. 5
HOUSE
(8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Instant Karma” – Time Period Premiere
In
an encore episode, a wealthy businessman (guest star Lee Tergesen)
brings his teenage son (guest star Tanner Maguire), who is suffering
from inexplicable stomach pains, to Princeton Plainsboro and insists
on having Dr. House handle the case. The father believes the karmic
penalty of his financial success is that he is victim to personal
tragedy, and that the answer to his son’s medical mystery lies in a
reversal of fate rather than medical treatment. Meanwhile, Foreman
(Omar Epps) and Chase (Jesse Spencer) prepare to present information
on the Dibala case.
KITCHEN
NIGHTMARES (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Bazzini”
Chef
Ramsay visits Bazzini, a restaurant in Ridgewood, NJ, with an identity
crisis. Owner Paul Bazzini has worked in restaurants his whole life
and always dreamed of having his own. However, with a lot of eateries
in the same vicinity, Bazzini is getting lost in the shuffle. Chef
Ramsay will have to restore Paul’s passion and implement fresh new
ideas, if there is any hope of saving the restaurant.
Friday,
Feb. 12
HOUSE
(8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Brave Heart”
In
an encore episode, the team takes on the case of a reckless police
detective (guest star Jon Seda) who has a family history of sudden
heart failure that killed his father, grandfather and
great-grandfather all at age 40. The team, urged by Cameron (Jennifer
Morrison), attempts to identify his condition so that the detective
can live without fear of dying young. Meanwhile, Chase is haunted by
his actions in the Dibala case, and House confronts some ghosts of his
own.
KITCHEN
NIGHTMARES (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Fiesta Sunrise”
In
an encore episode, Fiesta Sunrise, a family-run Mexican eatery in West
Nyack, NY, is in major financial trouble and needs Chef Ramsay’s
help to put it back in business. When Gordon arrives and finds
unsanitary conditions and spoiled food in the kitchen, he immediately
shuts it down.
Friday,
Feb. 19
HOUSE
(8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Ignorance Is Bliss”
House
and the team take on the case of an exceptionally brilliant physicist
and author (guest star Esteban Powell) who traded his successful
career for a job as a courier. For the ailing patient,
intelligence is a miserable burden that has prompted depression and
addiction, and this, coupled with myriad strange symptoms, nearly
stumps the team. Meanwhile the doctors at Princeton Plainsboro wrestle
with strained personal relationships in an encore episode.
KITCHEN
NIGHTMARES (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Black Pearl”
In
an encore episode, Black Pearl, a seafood restaurant in New York, is
struggling to get out of debt and turns to Chef Ramsay for help. With
three different owners running the kitchen, the restaurant lacks
consistency in both food and service.
Friday,
Feb. 26
41ST
NAACP IMAGE AWARDS (8:00-10:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed)
Broadcast
LIVE from Los Angeles’ historic Shrine Auditorium, the star-studded
41ST NAACP IMAGE AWARDS, recognizing the artistic
achievements of people of color while honoring projects and
individuals that promote diversity in the arts, will serve as the
momentous conclusion to the NAACP’s year-long centennial
celebration. 2010 Image Award nominees include Denzel Washington,
Jamie Foxx, Morgan Freeman, Sandra Bullock, Lenny Kravitz, Mariah
Carey, Mo’Nique, Zoe Saldana, Tracy Morgan, Vanessa Williams, CCH
Pounder, Anthony Anderson, LL Cool J, Taye Diggs, Jada Pinkett Smith,
Mekhi Phifer, Jay-Z, Alicia Keys, Mary J. Blige, Rihanna and Whitney
Houston.
SATURDAY
This
February, FOX Saturdays are fast-paced: a primetime NASCAR ON FOX
race, three all-new episodes of COPS, three all-new special-edition
episodes of AMERICA’S MOST WANTED and three all-new airings of THE
WANDA SYKES SHOW.
Saturday,
Feb. 6
NASCAR
2010: BUDWEISER SHOOTOUT (8:00-10:00 PM ET live/5:00-7:00 PM PT live)
FOX
Sports presents the first event of the 2010 NASCAR Sprint Cup season.
Mike Joy, Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip call the action live
from Daytona International Speedway at the NASCAR 2010: BUDWEISER
SHOOTOUT.
THE
WANDA SYKES SHOW (11:00 PM-Midnight ET/PT)
In
an all-new outing, Emmy Award-winning actress and comedian Wanda Sykes
keeps the party going with her irreverent new spin on the late-night
talk show. Sykes’ personal take on the events of the week – from
news and politics to sports and pop culture – is punctuated by field
pieces, produced comedy segments and wry and lively discussions with
regular panelists and famous friends.
SIT
DOWN, SHUT UP (Midnight-12:30 AM ET/PT) – “High School Musical
Musical”
In
an encore episode, when Sue (Kenan Thompson) gives Andrew (Nick Kroll)
an ultimatum to turn around the drama department, he writes his magnum
opus: a musical starring the teachers with Miracle (Kristin Chenoweth)
as the female lead. Jealous of Andrew’s casting, Helen (Cheri Oteri)
resolves to sabotage the play. Meanwhile, Sue discovers that Ennis
(Will Arnett) is smartest when he is intoxicated.
Saturday,
Feb. 13
COPS
(8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) – “Chases, Stings & Rescues”
Officers
from the Boynton Beach Police Department in Florida head up a drug
sting with five undercover officers and bust multiple dealers, while
officers at the Harris County Sherriff’s Office in Texas attempt to
save a dog from a flipped car.
COPS
(8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Odd Arrests #2”
In
an encore episode, an officer in the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police
Department assists the fire department with a suspect resisting
arrest, and a deputy from the San Bernardino County Sheriff’s
Department in California follows a suspicious vehicle that refuses to
pull over until the car flips over, trapping one of the suspects
inside.
AMERICA’S
MOST WANTED (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Miami Model Mystery Special
Edition”
John
Walsh investigates the mysterious and gruesome death of a model whose
New Year’s celebration in Miami ended with murder. Walsh also rides
the ocean with the U.S. Coast Guard for a first-hand view of how our
borders are protected.
THE
WANDA SYKES SHOW (11:00 PM-Midnight ET/PT)
Adult
film star and author Jenna Jameson, actress Megan Mullally and
comedians Carol Leifer and Andy Borowitz join Wanda as she unleashes
her signature brand of topical humor with field pieces, comedy
segments and a wry and lively panel discussion examining the week’s
events in an encore episode.
SIT
DOWN, SHUT UP (Midnight-12:30 AM ET/PT) – “Pilot”
Knob
Haven High School (Go Baiters!) is in financial trouble, and Acting
Principal Sue Sezno must either fire a teacher or the school has to
win the upcoming football game to gain alumni donations. Meanwhile, a
scandal erupts when pills confiscated from a student’s locker become
a part of Vice Principal Stuart Proszakian’s (Will Forte) daily diet
in an encore airing.
Saturday,
Feb. 20
COPS
(8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) – “War on Drugs #3”
Officers
from the Houston Police Department in Texas detain a driver after he
attempts to flee from a known drug area and is busted for possession.
Meanwhile, the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department investigates
suspicious behavior outside of an abandoned apartment building and
eventually runs into a burglary and drug bust situation.
COPS
(8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Dangerous Arrests”
In
an encore episode, officers of the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police
Department respond to a bank-robbery call that leads to a car chase
endangering innocent bystanders, while officers of the Palm Beach
County Sheriff’s Office in Florida find a man passed out in his
truck at a traffic light.
AMERICA’S
MOST WANTED (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “The Toothpicks Special
Edition”
John
Walsh takes on a violent murder-kidnap ring terrorizing the San Diego
area. Known as “Los Palillos,” or “The Toothpicks,” the crew
is an offshoot of Mexico’s drug cartels and has targeted innocent
Americans.
THE
WANDA SYKES SHOW (11:00 PM-Midnight ET/PT)
Singer
Sade is among the guests who join Wanda as she unleashes her signature
brand of topical humor with field pieces, comedy segments and a wry
and lively panel discussion examining the week’s events.
SIT
DOWN, SHUT UP (Midnight-12:30 AM ET/PT) – “Miracle’s Are Real”
To
celebrate the first day of spring, Miracle distributes flowers to the
staff. But when the flowers turn out to be hemlock, Andrew winds up in
a coma, and it’s up to Larry (Jason Bateman) to help Miracle regain
her faith. Meanwhile, Helen’s grudge against Sue puts the school’s
spring fundraiser in jeopardy in an encore episode.
Saturday,
Feb. 27
COPS
(8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) – “Drugs & Driving”
Officers
from the Harris County Sheriff’s Office in Texas respond to a
drunk-driving call and discover the suspect has two identities.
Meanwhile the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department issues two
tickets for misdemeanors related to drugs and alcohol to a woman who
backs into a patrol car.
COPS
(8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Liar Liar #4”
In
an encore episode, a deputy from the San Bernardino County Sheriff’s
Department in California assists fellow officers in a pursuit of a
domestic-violence suspect, while officers from the Las Vegas
Metropolitan Police Department respond to a domestic-violence
situation between a man and his supposed girlfriend.
AMERICA’S
MOST WANTED (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Takedown in Paradise Special
Edition”
John
Walsh and AMW travel to Belize to follow the trail of a child predator
who thought he could hide from the law, but learns the hard way that
AMW viewers are everywhere. The show will also feature the hunt for
other international fugitives.
THE
WANDA SYKES SHOW (11:00 PM-Midnight ET/PT)
Actor
Ray Romano, author and cable-news anchor Roland Martin and comedian
Kevin Hart join Wanda as she unleashes her signature brand of topical
humor with field pieces, comedy segments and a wry and lively panel
discussion examining the week’s events.
SIT
DOWN, SHUT UP (Midnight-12:30 AM ET/PT) – “World’s Greatest
Teacher”
When
Knob Haven High School has a chance to become a “distinguished
school,” Larry volunteers to give a speech to the school board in
hopes of impressing Miracle in an encore episode. All looks good for
Larry until a video of Ennis surfaces online and Principal Sezno
replaces him. Meanwhile, Willard (Henry Winkler) volunteers to teach
Driver’s Ed to overcome his fear of driving.
SUNDAY
FOX
Sundays in February offer up all-new back-to-back episodes of ‘TIL
DEATH; a trip to the 2010 Vancouver Games on THE SIMPSONS; Seth
MacFarlane’s special Valentine’s Day installments of THE CLEVELAND
SHOW, FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD Feb. 14; and all-new “Animation
Domination” episodes.
Sunday,
Feb. 7
‘TIL
DEATH (7:00-7:30 PM ET/PT) – “Not-So-Perfect Couple”
When
Joy (Joely Fisher) urges Eddie (Brad Garrett) to get a check-up from
their doctor, Simona (guest star Susan Yeagley), Eddie becomes
enamored with her, her husband (guest star Kevin Nealon) and their
seemingly perfect life. Joy becomes annoyed when Eddie takes
Simona’s advice, even though Joy has been nagging him for years, and
decides to prove that Simona isn’t as perfect as she seems.
‘TIL
DEATH (7:30-8:00 PM ET/PT) – “Independent Action”
When
Eddie attends their annual baseball game date without Joy, the two
realize that they can have separate lives, but at what cost?
Meanwhile, Ally (Lindsey Broad) and Doug (Timm Sharp) try to save a
tree but end up causing a tree-disease epidemic in the neighborhood.
THE
SIMPSONS (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) – “O Brother, Where Bart Thou?”
Brothers
Peyton Manning, Eli Manning and Cooper Manning; Kim Cattrall; Jordan
Nagai; and The Smothers Brothers make special guest-voice appearances
in an encore episode about Bart’s (Nancy Cartwright) search for a
brotherly bond.
THE
CLEVELAND SHOW (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “A Cleveland Brown
Christmas”
In
an encore episode, Cleveland (Mike Henry) tries to right his
eggnog-fueled wrongs by restoring Rallo’s (Henry) Christmas spirit,
and Roberta (Reagan Gomez) tries to save a reindeer.
FAMILY
GUY (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) – “Business Guy”
In
an encore episode, when Peter (Seth MacFarlane) gives Lois’ father (MacFarlane)
the bachelor party he never had, Mr. Pewterschmidt slips into a coma
and not even Dr. House (guest voice Hugh Laurie) can bring him out of
it. With her father incapacitated, Lois (Alex Borstein) is given
control of Pewterschmidt Industries, and Peter convinces her to let
him run the operation.
AMERICAN
DAD (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Rapture’s Delight”
When
the Smith family goes to church, Stan (Seth MacFarlane) is furious
that he can’t get a good seat in an encore episode. While Francine
(Wendy Schaal) tries to ease his frustration, a moment of divine
intervention occurs and the ultimate fight between good and evil
begins.
Sunday,
Feb. 14
‘TIL
DEATH (7:00-7:30 PM ET/PT) – “Snore Loser”
After
Eddie gets treatment for his sleep apnea and stops snoring, Joy
realizes that she relied on his nighttime annoyance to help her get to
sleep.
‘TIL
DEATH (7:30-8:00 PM ET/PT) – “The Break-Up”
When
their friends (guest stars Yeagley and Nealon) have a fight and break
up, Eddie and Joy step in to try and restore the peace, but it ends up
backfiring on them. Meanwhile, Ally sends Doug to a shrink (guest star
Mayim Bialik) to cure his mysterious illness.
THE
SIMPSONS (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) – “Boy Meets Curl”
The
Simpsons head to the 2010 Vancouver Games where Bob Costas
(guest-voicing as himself) reports, and Marge (Julie Kavner) and Homer
(Dan Castellaneta) compete as part of a curling team.
THE
CLEVELAND SHOW (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Buried Pleasure”
In
a special all-new Valentine’s Day episode, Holt (guest voice Jason
Sudeikis) admits to Cleveland that he wishes he had a special someone
in his life. Determined to help his lonely friend, Cleveland
introduces Holt to the cat-loving redhead Jill (guest voice Fergie).
Meanwhile, Cleveland Jr. (Kevin Michael Richardson) and Rallo
anticipate the “birth” of Rallo’s pet fish.
FAMILY
GUY (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) – “Extra Large Medium”
When
Chris (Seth Green) and Stewie (Seth MacFarlane) get lost in the woods
for days, Lois is at her wits end until she sees a psychic (guest
voice Michelle Lee) who assures her they will return. After they
find their way back to Quahog, the psychic obsession continues, and
Peter takes it one step too far when he starts charging neighbors for
his extrasensory perception. Meanwhile, Chris finds a crush at
school in an all-new Valentine’s Day-themed FAMILY GUY.
AMERICAN
DAD (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “May the Best Stan Win”
Stan
gives Francine “love coupons” for Valentine’s Day, but when his
CIA cyborg arrives, he would rather learn about the future than
fulfill the coupons. Meanwhile, Roger (Seth MacFarlane) helps
Steve (Scott Grimes) and his friends remake a classic ‘80s movie.
Sunday,
Feb. 21
‘TIL
DEATH (7:00-7:30 PM ET/PT) – “Perfect Couple”
When
Eddie and Joy befriend Stephen (guest star Nealon) and his wife Simona
(guest star Yeagley), Eddie clicks with them right away causing Joy to
feel left out. In an effort to win Joy over, Eddie coaches their new
friends on her all her likes and dislikes. Meanwhile, Kenny (JB Smoove)
starts a new job as a supermarket sample salesman only to realize that
sample distribution can be a competitive business.
‘TIL
DEATH (7:30-8:00 PM ET/PT) – “The Check-Up”
When
Joy convinces Eddie to visit Simona (guest star Yeagley) for an annual
check-up, he catches a nasty head cold before his big interview with a
Hindenburg blimp survivor. Meanwhile, Joy can’t understand why
Simona won’t pay her a compliment.
THE
SIMPSONS (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) – “The Color Yellow”
In
an all-new episode, Lisa (Yeardley Smith) discovers that her Southern
ancestors helped a slave, Virgil
(guest voice Wren T. Brown), escape to freedom and presents her
family’s story during Black History Month.
THE
CLEVELAND SHOW (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “The Curious Case of Jr.
Working at The Stool”
Cleveland
teaches Junior responsibility by challenging him to get a job, and to
his own delight, Cleveland Jr. lands a job working at The Stool.
However, when Cleveland Jr. starts commenting on the number of beers
his father consumes and sets limits on the guys’ time at the bar, a
feud erupts between father and son. Meanwhile, Roberta competes with
Lacey (guest voice Ashley Tisdale), the rich girl in school, and gets
more than she bargained in an all-new episode that also features guest
voice cameos by David Lynch, Ed Asner and Kristen Wiig.
FAMILY
GUY (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) – “Road to the Multiverse”
With
the help of an out-of-this-world remote control, Stewie and Brian
(Seth MacFarlane) travel through alternate universes, including a
post-apocalyptic world and a parallel world run by dogs where humans
are pets, in an encore episode.
AMERICAN
DAD (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Return of the Bling”
When
Stan admits that his heroes include Ronald Reagan and the 1980 U.S.
Olympic Hockey Team, including Michael Eruzione and Rob McClanahan
(guest-voicing as themselves), Roger confesses that he played on the
team as Chex LeMeneux. But when Roger comes clean that he took
steroids to win, they both lose. Meanwhile, Reginald (guest voice
Erik Durbin) tries to win over Hayley by taking her to a concert.
Sunday,
Feb. 28
‘TIL
DEATH (7:00-7:30 PM ET/PT) – “Can’t Elope”
When
Joy goes overboard planning Ally and Doug’s wedding, Eddie convinces
them to elope, and Kenny agrees to marry the young couple on top of
Eagle Rock. After Joy finds out about their plans, she convinces Eddie
to help her stop the wedding.
‘TIL
DEATH (7:30-8:00 PM ET/PT) – “Check Mate”
When
the Starks meet Simona (guest star Yeagley) and Stephen (guest star
Nealon) for dinner, they decide to stick them with the bill, which
results in an all-out dining-and-ditching war between the couples.
Meanwhile, Joy makes Eddie’s life miserable at work.
THE
SIMPSONS (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) – “The Devil Wears Nada”
In
an effort to raise money for charity, Marge and the
“Philanthro-Chicks” decide to pose for a calendar in an encore
episode. At the photo studio, Marge is a bit reluctant to reveal any
skin, but the photographer (Hank Azaria) loosens her up with wine and
before long, Marge and her pin-up poses are the talk of Springfield.
THE
CLEVELAND SHOW (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) – “Cleveland Jr. Cherry
Bomb”
Cleveland
has “the talk” with Roberta, which scares Cleveland Jr. into
taking a vow of chastity. Meanwhile, Rallo becomes a church
greeter in an encore episode that also features guest voices by Jason
Sudeikis, Arianna Huffington and Jamie Kennedy.
FAMILY
GUY (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) – “Family Goy”
When
Lois finds a lump on her breast, she goes to the doctor to get tested
for cancer in an encore episode. The tests come back benign, but the
doctor looks at her family medical history and reveals some news about
Lois’ heritage. Peter takes to the family’s newfound faith
eagerly, but when he is visited by the ghost of his father (guest
voice Charles Durning), he changes his tune.
AMERICAN
DAD (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT) – “Home Adrone”
Steve
is left home alone when the family takes a trip to look at a potential
college for Hayley (Rachael MacFarlane) in an encore episode. When his
friends arrive and realize he has the run of the house, they persuade
Steve to break the rules. They’re soon in over their heads when they
discover that what they thought was a video game is actually a
military-controlled drone.
(Back To Top)
**************************************************************************************************************
CBS
ANNOUNCES THE 11 TEAMS RACING IN THE EMMY AWARD-WINNING SERIES,
"THE AMAZING RACE," PREMIERING FEBRUARY 14
Los
Angeles, Ca., January 21st, 2010.
CBS
announced the 11 Teams set to compete in the 16th edition
of THE AMAZING RACE, premiering Sunday, Feb. 14 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT)
on the CBS Television Network. Emmy Award nominee Phil Keoghan
is the host.
Contestants
will travel nearly 40,000 miles across five continents and eight
countries. Eleven Teams start off by navigating through the
congested streets of Los Angeles and, for the first time ever, must
rely solely on public transportation to make their way to LAX. The
Teams' first destination lies in Chile where they will encounter one
of the most daunting Roadblocks in the history of the series. In
their ongoing battle for the one million dollar prize, Teams will
participate in a grueling World War I reenactment in France, retrace
the early days of the iconic rock group, The Beatles, and come
face-to-face with one of the world's most infamous villains.
Season
16 features Teams from all walks of life, including couples, parents,
siblings, friends, models, lawyers, detectives and even cowboys.
The
Emmy Award-Winning THE AMAZING RACE received its seventh consecutive
Emmy for Outstanding Reality Competition Program last year.
Following
are the 11 teams, listed in no particular order:
Caite
Upton
Age:
20
Hometown:
Lexington, S.C.
Occupation:
Model/Actress
Brent
Horne
Age:
28
Hometown:
Columbia, S.C.
Occupation:
Model/Advertising
Relationship:
Dating/Models
Louis
Stravato (Left)
Age:
47
Hometown: Providence,
R.I.
Occupation: Undercover
Detective
Michael
Naylor (Right)
Age:
45
Hometown: Providence,
R.I.
Occupation: Undercover
Detective
Relationship:
Detectives
Steve
Smith
Age:
57
Hometown:
Encinitas, Calif.
Occupation:
Professional Baseball Coach/
World
Series Champion Coach
Allie
Smith
Age:
23
Hometown:
Encinitas, Calif.
Occupation:
Marketing
Relationship:
Father/Daughter
Jeff
Schroeder
Age:
31
Hometown:
Norridge, Ill
Occupation:
Salesman
Jordan
Lloyd
Age:
22
Hometown:
Charlotte, N.C.
Occupation:
Receptionist
Relationship:
Newly Dating
Monique
Pryor (Left)
Age:
39
Hometown:
West Orange, N.J.
Occupation:
Attorney
Shawne
Morgan (Right)
Age:
39
Hometown:
Bowie, Md.
Occupation:
Attorney
Relationship:
Moms/Attorneys
Jet
McCoy (Left)
Age:
30
Hometown:
Ada, Okla.
Occupation:
Cowboy
Cord
McCoy (Right)
Age:
29
Hometown: Tupelo,
Okla.
Occupation:
Pro Bull Rider
Relationship:
Brothers/Cowboys
Adrian
Davis
Age:
40
Hometown: Arlington,
Texas
Occupation:
Medical Sales
Dana
Davis
Age: 39
Hometown:
Arlington, Texas
Occupation:
Market Manager
Relationship:
High School Sweethearts/Married
Jody Kelly
Age:
71
Hometown:
Round Rock, Texas
Occupation:
Personal Trainer
Shannon
Foster
Age:
22
Hometown:
Georgetown, Texas
Occupation:
Healthcare Outreach Contract Analyst
Relationship:
Grandmother/Granddaughter
Carol
Rosenfeld (Left)
Age:
47
Hometown:
Los Angeles, Calif.
Occupation:
Consultant
Brandy
Snow (Right)
Age: 40
Hometown:
Los Angeles, Calif.
Occupation: Actress
and Voice Over Artist
Relationship:
Dating
Dan
Pious (Left)
Age:
24
Hometown:
Barrington, R.I.
Occupation:
Financial Advisor
Jordan
Pious (Right)
Age: 22
Hometown:
Barrington, R.I.
Occupation:
Strategic Consultant
Relationship:
Brothers
Joe
Wang
Age:
42
Hometown:
El Segundo, Calif.
Occupation:
Software Salesman
Heidi
Wang
Age:
37
Hometown:
El Segundo, Calif.
Occupation:
Stay-at-Home Mom
Relationship:
Married
(Back To Top)
**************************************************************************************************************
"SNL"
RETURNS WITH BACK-TO-BACK SHOWS
New
York, N.Y., January 22nd, 2010.
"Saturday Night Live" returns with original shows on
consecutive weekends starting January 30 with Jon Hamm returning to
studio 8H, and musical guest Michael Buble.
The January 30th show features Jon Hamm, the Golden Globe-winner and
star of the award-winning drama "Mad Men," taking his second
turn as host of "SNL." He has also received SAG and Emmy
nominations for his work on the critically lauded cable series.
Additionally, Hamm earned an Emmy nod for his guest-starring turn on
NBC's "30 Rock." Hamms' upcoming films include "The
Town, directed by and starring Ben Affleck, "Sucker Punch,"
directed by Zac Snyder, and "Howl" with James Franco, which
is currently playing at the Sundance Film Festival.
Grammy winning recording artist and world-class entertainer, Michael
Bublé, will take the 8H stage as musical guest. His current release,
"Crazy Love," debuted recently at number one on the
Billboard Top 200 Chart remains a Top Twenty album. Buble will also be
performing "Baby (You've Got What It Takes)" with special
guest Sharon Jones. The Canadian native has sold over 22 million
albums worldwide and his current single, "Haven't Met You
Yet," just jumped to No. 1 on several radio formats. His previous
CD "Call Me Irresponsible" was a number one album in over l5
countries and his 2005 release, "It's Time," holds the
record as the longest running title to remain on the Billboard
Traditional Jazz charts - a full two years. He is scheduled to start
his "Crazy Love" concert Tour in March 2010.
SNL welcomes back actor/producer, Ashton Kutcher, February 6 his
fourth time as host. He can next be seen opposite Julia Roberts, Anne
Hathaway, Jennifer Garner, and more in the upcoming film
"Valentine's Day," in theaters February 12. Kutcher's
previous credits include "What Happens in Vegas," The
Butterfly Effect," "Guess Who," and the hit television
series "Punk'd" and "That 70's Show."
Them Crooked Vultures, rock's premiere new supergroup, will make their
debut as musical guest. The group consists of seven-time SNL veteran
Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters and Nirvana fame, Josh Homme of Queens of
the Stone Age and, in his first appearance on the SNL stage, the
legendary John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin. The band's self-titled
debut album was released in fall of 2009, entering the Billboard
charts at number 12 and remaining in the upper reaches ever since,
while its debut single "New Fang" has hit number 10 on
Billboard's Alternative chart and number 14 on their Mainstream Rock
Tracks.
(Back To Top)
*************************************************************************************************************
QUOTABLES
FROM LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON JANUARY 18 - JANUARY 22
"Hey,
how's everybody feeling tonight? Well, a psychologist in Britain has
calculated that today - the third Monday in January - is the most
depressing day of the year. Especially if you're a fan of the San
Diego Chargers."
"This is very sweet. President Obama threw Michelle a surprise
birthday party on Saturday night! Which is why all week long, Joe
Biden was like, "Hi Michelle. Nothing unusual going on here. No
secrets being kept. Or surprises being planned. Certainly no surprise
parties."
"I read that a year into Obama's first term in office,
unemployment is higher, the national debt is higher, and there are
more soldiers serving in Afghanistan. When asked about it, Obama was
like, "Yes, but technically - that IS change."
"Oh, happy birthday to supermodel Kate Moss! She turned 36 this
weekend. She celebrated by looking at a cake."
"This is crazy, I read today that many Avatar fans have started
naming their babies after characters from the movie. James Cameron
movies have that effect on parents. I have a nephew named
"Jack" - from Titanic - and two adorable nieces named
"Terminator."
"Avatar fans are naming their babies after characters from the
movie. That's crazy. Even worse, obstetricians are now putting on 3D
glasses for the delivery."
"This was bad. Last week, a network glitch allowed AT and T
customers to access strangers' Facebook accounts. Yeah, somebody even
hacked into my account and wrote "Jimmy Fallon likes Justin
Bieber." So I had to go in and change it back to "Jimmy
Fallon LOVES Justin Bieber."
"Hey, listen to this. NASA is slashing the prices on a few of the
used space shuttles that it has up for sale. Yeah, NASA actually SELLS
used space shuttles. Which explains why if you go to the space station
these days, they have those car dealership balloon guys waving
around."
"This is just weird. The Fatherhood Institute in Britain is going
to release a guide that gives men lessons on breastfeeding. It's a
pretty short guide, though. It just says: DON'T."
"This is interesting. A new poll found that 8:25 a.m. is the most
stressful time of the day for mothers. Which means the most stressful
time of day for fathers is approximately 8:26."
"Hey, good luck to this guy. An 82-year-old man in Michigan plans
to ride his snowmobile 3,700 miles to Alaska next month. And
naturally, he plans to ride all 3,700 miles with his right turn signal
on."
"A new poll found that crying children are the worst airplane
passengers. The second worst airplane passengers? Terrorists."
"Excuse me, ma'am - can you ask your baby to be quiet? I can
barely focus on my underwear bomb."
"Have you guys seen this yet? On Friday, the FBI unveiled a
massive Times Square billboard with a rotating display of the most
wanted criminals in the U.S. It's all part of a new FBI plan called,
"Distract Tourists While They Have Their Wallets Stolen."
"And finally, a bar in Singapore is giving out free drinks to
women based on their breast size. This replaces the group that already
does that: guys."
"I just heard that Starbucks recently raised the prices on almost
all of its popular drinks. A company spokesperson said Starbucks is
confident that people will still buy their coffee, because it was
already way too expensive before."
"I just read that President Obama plans to deliver his State of
the Union address next Wednesday, January 27. Until then he's just at
home going, "Please everything get better by Wednesday, please
get better by Wednesday."
"You can tell the president's losing some of his popularity.
Today Obama and Secretary of Education Arne Duncan visited elementary
school kids in Virginia. And the kids were like, "Oh my god,
look! It's Secretary of Education ARNE DUNCAN!!!"
"This is pretty big. Sarah Palin is saying that her deal with Fox
News wouldn't keep her from running for president in 2012. However,
Palin did admit that her deal with Fox News will keep her from
winning."
"This is kinda weird. There's a new iPhone app that alerts you if
your spouse is trying to read your emails and text messages. Experts
are calling it a revolutionary product; meanwhile, Tiger's calling it
"about two months too late."
"White Castle is offering a special Valentine's Day candlelit
dinner, with tableside service and flowers. It's the perfect way to
tell your date "Hey, what's your name again?"
"Listen to this. In 2009, the FBI reported a 20 percent decrease
in the number of people robbing banks. There was, however, a huge
increase in the number of banks robbing people."
"I don't even know what to make of this story. A man bit off a
cop's nipple during a fight outside a bar in Chicago. The cops put out
a warning to anyone living in the surrounding areola."
"The organizers of a Fight Club Facebook page have been
disciplined by the University of Manitoba. Do they not remember the
first rule of Fight Club? You DO NOT start-a-social-networking-group
about Fight Club."
"Has everyone here seen "Avatar" by now? Well,
"Avatar" has been pulled from almost 2,000 movie screens in
China 'cause they think it's taking away from the Chinese movie
industry. Excuse me, we're hurting CHINA'S movie industry? I was just
in Chinatown and they were already selling a DVD of "Avatar
2."
"And finally, Weight Watchers is suing Jenny Craig over ads it
says are misleading and deceptive. This could represent a major loss
for Jenny Craig, but don't worry, they'll gain it back within a month
or so."
"Hey, here's some good news for travelers. Boston's Logan Airport
will soon be offering free Wi-Fi to all its passengers. And in related
news, Newark airport will soon be offering flights."
"There was a huge Senate race in Massachusetts yesterday, and
Republican Scott Brown pulled off the upset. Now some Democrats are
accusing their candidate, Martha Coakley, of running a lackluster
campaign. They were especially confused by her campaign slogan,
"I guess we can?"
"So a Republican won, and when Scott Brown takes office Democrats
will lose their filibuster-proof Senate majority, and he's vowed to
oppose the health care bill. That's a nice way to start your first
day. "Hey, I'm the new guy. Hate what you're doin' here."
"Bad to meet you. Not a fan. YOU are the worst!"
"Check this out. A new survey found that only 19 percent of kids
give President Obama an "A" on his first year in office. And
16 percent gave him an "F"! Malia was like, "This is
the best possible day to tell my dad about my D in Social
Studies."
"This isn't good. Erroll Southers - Obama's pick to head the TSA
- withdrew his name because he performed an illegal background check
on his ex-wife's boyfriend. Still, that's an improvement from the
TSA's normal procedure - not performing background checks."
"I've got some Tiger Woods news for you. I heard that the sex
rehab center in Mississippi where Tiger's staying requires all
patients to fill out their sexual history when they arrive. That was
the easy part for Tiger - he just handed them the last 20 Us
Weekly's."
"You'll appreciate this. I just read that Snooki, from Jersey
Shore, is getting 10,000 dollars for an appearance at Yale University
this weekend. Hey, remind me again, why is China's education system
beating ours?"
"This is just weird. There's a new MP3 player that wraps around a
pregnant woman's stomach and plays music for her unborn baby. It's
great if you want your kid to stutter and his first words to be "Pokerface."
"P-p-p pokerface."
"Do you guys play Rock Band? Well, the makers of Rock Band have
launched an online store that allows any artist to sell videogame
versions of their songs. Am I the only one who really hopes the Pants
on the Ground guy hears about this?"
"And finally, police in Ohio are looking for a man who tried to
rob a Subway restaurant. Of course, if he ends up in prison, he'll get
his choice of a six-inch or a foot-long every single night."
"Hey, how's everybody feeling tonight? Well, today officially
marks the beginning of President Obama's second year in office. Yeah,
he has three years left, but NBC offered him 45 million dollars to
leave altogether."
"Did you hear about this? During his acceptance speech Tuesday,
newly-elected Senator Scott Brown told the crowd that his daughters
are both "available." Man, so many great American speeches.
"Four score and seven years ago," "Ask not what your
country can do for you," "I have a dream," and now,
"My daughters are both available."
"Some big political news out of Washington. The Supreme Court
ruled today that the government cannot stop corporations from spending
money on political candidates. This explains why Sarah Palin just
accepted 1 million dollars to change her name to Pizza Hut."
"This is interesting. A new study found that nice people tend to
speak with more emotion, whereas people who are not nice speak in more
of a monotone. Which confirms my suspicion, Stephen Hawking is a
dick."
"Hey, guys, yesterday was National Penguin Awareness Day. Is
everybody aware of penguins? Yeah, Penguin Awareness Day. I guess that
explains why I didn't see any penguins driving to work."
"This is bizarre. Toyota is planning to sell robotic nurses to
help care for Japan's growing elderly population. That ought to put
Grandma at ease, having the Terminator show up to give her a sponge
bath. "Old lady, I need you to relax!"
"I don't even know what to make of this. Several Holiday Inns
Expresses in the UK are offering free bed warming services - where
employees wear electric blankets and warm up your bed before you go to
sleep. Which explains Holiday Inn's new commercial, "I just
stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night. Friggin' weird, man."
"This was scary. A New Jersey man on the run from police crashed
his car, then jumped off a Turnpike overpass and wound up in the
hospital with both legs broken. The man made a brief statement to
police: "Action movies are lies. Ow."
"And finally, there's a new iPhone app that translates a baby's
cry into words. The most common translation? "Can you stop
looking at your damn iPhone for one second and pick me up? I'm a
crying baby!"
"It's Friday, are you guys psyched for the weekend? Let's get to
some news. Yesterday President Obama met with a group of mayors at the
White House, and he told them he was glad not to be running a city
during this recession. It's part of Obama's new campaign slogan,
"Sucks to be you, bitches!"
"I don't know if you remember this, but Obama wanted to close the
Guantanamo Bay prison by today, but turns out he's gonna miss his
deadline by a full year. Imagine what would happen at your job if you
missed a deadline by a year. "Hey, Gary, been waitin' on that
Johnson report for uh, about a year now. Maybe think about wrappin' it
up, gettin' on my desk by, say, well, I'd definitely like to see it by
the end of this year."
"Today President Obama was focused on bringing tough new
regulations to banks. He said, "If these folks want a fight, it's
a fight I'm ready to have." This explains why when Obama tried to
use an ATM today, it just spit out a receipt that said, "F
You."
"Are you guys following the big health care fight? It's not going
well for the democrats. Nancy Pelosi said yesterday that the House
doesn't have enough votes to pass the Senate's health care bill. Yeah,
a few more elections and the House won't have Nancy Pelosi,
either."
"Hey, this is pretty wild. I read that Apple filed a new patent
this week for a solar-powered iPhone. Yeah, that's what I need.
"I can't hear you I'm going through a tunnel. Now there's a
cloud. Now there's a tree giving me shade. Now there's a cloud
again."
"Listen to this. An employee at a Taco Bell in Alaska was
sentenced to one day in jail for throwing a taco at his manager. He'll
spend the whole day pleading with fellow inmates to think outside the
buns."
"Do you guys like "Jersey Shore?" Well Snooki and The
Situation had a steamy hot tub hook up on the season finale last
night. Wow, Snooki went at it with The Situation - or as I call it,
"Alien vs. Predator."
"Believe it or not, this is a true story. A man in the UK was
banned from a public park after he tried to have sex with a tree. I
don't know about you, but I think Al Gore has finally gone too
far."
"Yeah, a man tried to have sex with a tree. He was arrested for
trying to put his junk in a trunk. He just wanted a place to store his
nuts."
"This is pretty sweet, I read in People magazine that Mickey
Rourke called his model girlfriend "a gift from heaven." And
she called HIM a gift from one of those stores that only sells
leather."
"And finally, I read that stray dogs in Moscow have figured out
how to use the subway. Crazy right? At least in New York, it only
SMELLS like dogs have figured out how to use the subway."
(Back To Top)
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THE
"LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Surprising Facts about Scott
Brown"
As
presented on the Thursday, Jan. 21 broadcast
10.
He's the nephew of godfather of soul James Brown.
9.
Climate change is partly the result of his smoldering hunkiness.
8.
His response to the health care reform crisis: "Don't blame
Conan."
7.
Got start in politics by rounding up illegals to work in Mitt Romney's
yard.
6.
Once in state senate, cracked a walnut with his ass.
5.
Purchased his first car at Harrison Ford.
4.
Promised people of Massachusetts he'd bring back witch trials.
3.
When his daughter was finalist on "American Idol," he
exchanged beauty tips with Ryan Seacrest.
2.
His election helped GOP ratings skyrocket to 17%!
1.
So cold in Boston today he actually put on pants.
(Back To Top)
