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Headlines & Links For Thursday, July 30th, 2009.

KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY AND BROOKE D'ORSAY JOIN THE CAST OF "GARY UNMARRIED" BEGINNING WITH THE SECOND SEASON PREMIERE ON WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 23 (Read More)

MEET YOUR FAVORITE “GLEE” CAST MEMBERS AT HOT TOPIC STORES ACROSS THE COUNTRY (Read More)

MILLIONAIRE CELEBRATES 10TH ANNIVERSARY WHEN IT RETURNS TO ABC       (Read More)

ABC ANNOUNCES PREMIERE DATES FOR REMAINING FALL SERIES       (Read More)

FOX ANNOUNCES NEW FALL PREMIERE DATES       (Read More)

ABC PICKS UP "WIPEOUT" FOR A THIRD SEASON       (Read More)

FOUR-TIME EMMY AWARD AND THREE-TIME SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARD WINNER ALFRE WOODARD TO JOIN THE CAST OF "THREE RIVERS"       (Read More)

GABRIELLE UNION JOINS THE CAST OF "FLASHFORWARD"       (Read More)

DOMINIC MONAGHAN JOINS THE CAST OF "FLASHFORWARD"       (Read More)

“SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE” TO AIR TWO-NIGHT SEASON FINALE LIVE FROM WORLD-RENOWNED KODAK THEATRE WED., AUG. 5, AND THURS., AUG. 6, ON FOX       (Read More)

CBS ANNOUNCES THE EIGHT FAMILIES SET TO COMPETE IN "THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD," A NEW REALITY-COMPETITION SERIES PREMIERING SUNDAY, AUGUST 9       (Read More)

EVA LONGORIA PARKER AND GEORGE LOPEZ CO-HOST "THE 2009 ALMA AWARDS"       (Read More)

ARTISTS FLO RIDA, HEIDI MONTAG, DAVID GUETTA AND KELLY ROWLAND TO PERFORM DURING THE LIVE TELECAST OF THE 2009 MISS UNIVERSE COMPETITION       (Read More)

ACTORS MORGAN FAIRCHILD, JIM J. BULLOCK, ALAN THICKE AND MELISSA RIVERS TO APPEAR ON CBS's "THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL," MON. AUG. 10 TO FRI. AUG. 14       (Read More)

ABC ANNOUNCES CRASH COURSE       (Read More)

RICHARD CASTLE OF ABC'S CASTLE GOES LIVE ON TWITTER       (Read More)

CHUCKMEOUT.COM LAUNCHES DURING COMIC-CON       (Read More)

NBC.COM LAUNCHES NEW SITE FOR NBC'S 'THE JAY LENO SHOW'       (Read More)

'THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O'BRIEN' LISTINGS       (Read More)

UPCOMING GUESTS ON THE "LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN"       (Read More)

ON JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE       (Read More)

LISTINGS FOR 'LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON'       (Read More)

UPCOMING GUESTS ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW with CRAIG FERGUSON"       (Read More)

QUOTABLES FROM 'LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON' July 20 – July 24       (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Things That Went Through Mark Buehrle's Mind During His Perfect Game"       (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Things Overheard at Sarah Palin's Farewell Party"       (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Surprises in the President Obama's News Conference"       (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Questions on the Surgeon General Application"       (Read More)

KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY AND BROOKE D'ORSAY JOIN THE CAST OF "GARY UNMARRIED" BEGINNING WITH THE SECOND SEASON PREMIERE ON WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 23

Los Angeles, Ca., July 23rd, 2009.               Keegan-Michael Key and Brooke D'Orsay join the cast of GARY UNMARRIED beginning with the second season premiere on Wednesday, Sept. 23 (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/ PT) on the CBS Television Network.

GARY UNMARRIED stars Jay Mohr and Paula Marshall in a comedy about Gary Brooks, a single painting contractor who's trying to pursue a career in radio, and his controlling ex-wife, Allison, as they continue to face post-divorce mayhem after 15 years of marriage. He's the fun parent and she's the strict one. Together, they share custody of their two children - Louise, a politically correct and environmentally conscious 12-year-old, and Tom, their socially awkward 15-year-old son who is nervous around girls. In pursuit of post-marriage happiness, Gary strives to balance his eclectic world of an ex-wife, their two kids and a budding new career, all while trying to find the perfect mate.

Keegan-Michael Key (cast member for six seasons on "MADtv") portrays Curtis, an old friend of Gary's who works at the radio station. Brooke D'Orsay ("Drop Dead Diva") will portray Sasha, the young, gorgeous - though slightly overwhelmed - station manager.

Ira Ungerleider, Rob DesHotel and James Burrows are the executive producers for ABC Studios in association with CBS Television Studios. Burrows will also direct the series.

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MEET YOUR FAVORITE “GLEE” CAST MEMBERS AT HOT TOPIC STORES ACROSS THE COUNTRY

Los Angeles, Ca., July 29th, 2009.               The cast of the new fall comedy GLEE is hitting the road this summer in search of “Gleeks” at a mall near you! Cast members Cory Monteith, Lea Michele, Amber Riley, Chris Colfer, Jenna Ushkowitz, Kevin McHale, Dianna Agron and Mark Salling will make appearances exclusively at Hot Topic stores in select cities across the country to sign autographs, hold Q&A sessions and give fans a sneak peek at the new season of GLEE. The tour kicks off Monday, Aug. 17 at the Natick Mall Hot Topic in Boston. For more information, go to fox.com/glee.

GLEE premieres Wednesday, Sept. 9 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. A special extended director’s cut of the pilot will air Wednesday, Sept. 2 (8:58-10:00 PM ET/PT) with encore episodes airing for three Fridays beginning Sept. 4 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT).

“The Gleek Tour” stops are as follows:

Boston, MA

Monday, Aug. 17 2:00- 5:00 PM

Natick Mall1245

Worcester St.

Natick, MA 01760

New York, NY

Tuesday, Aug. 18 3:00-6:00 PM

Garden State Plaza

1228 Garden State Plaza

Paramus, NJ 07652



Philadelphia, PA

Wednesday, Aug. 19 3:00-6:00 PM

King of Prussia Mall

160 N. Gulph Rd.

King of Prussia, PA 19406

Washington, DC

Thursday, Aug. 20 3:00-6:00 PM

Fair Oaks Mall

11750 Fair Oaks Mall

Fairfax, VA 22033

Chicago, IL

Friday, Aug. 21 3:00-6:00 PM

Orland Square

500 Orland Square

rland Park, IL 60462

Minneapolis, MN

Sunday, Aug. 23 2:00-5:00 PM

Mall of America

168 North Garden

Bloomington, MN 55425

Houston, TX

Tuesday, Aug. 25 3:00-6:00 PM

TBD

Dallas, TX

Wednesday, Aug. 26 3:00-6:00 PM

allas Galleria

13350 Noel Rd.

Dallas, TX 75240

Denver, CO

Thursday, Aug. 27 3:00-6:00 PM

Park Meadows

8405 Park Meadows Center

Littleton, CO 80124

Los Angeles, CA

Friday, Aug. 28 3:00-6:00 PM

Hollywood & Highland

6801 Hollywood Blvd.

Los Angeles, CA 90028

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MILLIONAIRE CELEBRATES 10TH ANNIVERSARY WHEN IT RETURNS TO ABC

New York, N.Y., July 27th, 2009.               Regis and “Millionaire” are back in ABC primetime! Celebrating its 10th anniversary, the smash hit “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” comes back to ABC this summer for a special two-week event. “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” premieres SUNDAY, AUGUST 9 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET) and will air for 11 nights, Sunday-Thursday at 8:00 p.m., with the finale on SUNDAY, AUGUST 23 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET).

ABC’s 10th Anniversary edition of “Millionaire” will celebrate everything that viewers loved about the original, combined with the major improvements to the gameplay after seven successful years in syndication. In addition, as a brand new feature of the return of primetime “Millionaire,” every episode will culminate with a celebrity playing one question for $50,000, to benefit their charity of choice. The lineup of celebrity players will be announced at a later date.

From Daytime “Millionaire’s” Emmy nominations on the eve of its eighth season launch to the Oscar-winning phenomenon “Slumdog Millionaire,” it has been a banner year for the “Millionaire” pop culture juggernaut. To date, there have been 1,285 episodes of the syndicated version, and before it went off the air in 2002, the primetime edition saw 363 episodes, including “Super Millionaire” in 2004. Over $132 million has been won by contestants over the decade ($79 million in primetime; $53 million in syndication). In primetime, celebrity players won $13.5 million for their favorite charities.

The 10th Anniversary edition will continue many of the strongest elements of the original show, along with some of the more recent modifications to the format that were streamlined over the show’s lifespan in syndication. For example, the “Fastest Finger” element will return, and the lifelines will include perennial favorites “Ask the Audience,” “Phone a Friend,” and also “Double Dip” (which originated during “Super Millionaire”). Imported from the Meredith Vieira-hosted daytime version will be the new lifeline, “Ask the Expert,” and the substantially faster gameplay featuring time limits on every question. The stellar lineup of Experts for the 10th anniversary run includes:

•   ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos
•   ABC News’ Sam Donaldson
•   ABC News’ Cokie Roberts
•   NPR’s Mo Rocca
•   Wolf Blitzer (CNN’s “The Situation Room”)
•   Activist and radio host Rev. Al Sharpton
•   Bestselling author Jodi Picoult
•   Bill Nye, the Science Guy
•   Journalist, newscaster and author Gwen Ifill
•   Journalist Connie Chung
•   Game show legend Ken Jennings

Here is a lineup of the returning contestants who will visit (but not compete) during the 10th anniversary run:

Sunday, August 9
Note: Much of the studio audience is comprised of former contestants
Robert Essig, Ashtabula, OH – nicknamed Bob-O by his mother-in-law, won $1 million
Joe Trela, Gilroy, CA – third contestant to win $1 million
Ed Toutant, Austin, TX – won $1.86 million escalating jackpot

Monday, August 10
Robby Roseman, Las Vegas, NV – first person to lose on the first question, winning nothing

Tuesday, August 11
Kevin Olmstead, Ann Arbor, MI– the show’s biggest winner; won the escalating jackpot totaling $2.18 million

Wednesday, August 12
Jason Block, Brooklyn, NY – one of the show’s most memorable contestants; won $125,000

Thursday, August 13
No former contestants this night

Sunday, August 16
John Carpenter, Hamden, CT & dad – the series’ first-ever contestant to win $1 million; phoned his dad on the last question for his Phone A Friend, just to inform him he knew the answer and was about to win $1 million

Monday, August 17
Brian Fodera, Los Angeles, CA – second person to get the first question wrong, winning nothing

Tuesday, August 18
Doug Van Gundy, Elkins, WV – West Virginia fiddler won $250,000 in 1999, which, at that time, was the largest amount of money won in a single network game show appearance

Wednesday, August 19
Dan Doody, Seattle, WA – nicknamed “Doody” by Regis; he won $1,000

Thursday August 20
No former contestants this night

Sunday, August 23
Nancy Christy, Tulsa, OK – first woman to win $1 million on the show (happened on syndicated version)

What has never changed is that “Millionaire” remains the only game show in the history of television where regular Americans from all over the country can win one million dollars by simply answering fifteen questions.

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ABC ANNOUNCES PREMIERE DATES FOR REMAINING FALL SERIES

New York, N.Y., July 22nd, 2009.               ABC announced premiere dates for "Eastwick" and "Brothers & Sisters" for the 2009-10 season.

Times listed are ET.

Wednesday, September 23
10:00-11:00 p.m.   "Eastwick"

Sunday, September 27
10:00-11:00 p.m.   "Brothers & Sisters"

These join the previously announced premiere dates below, and complete ABC's fall season premieres:

Saturday, September 5
8:00 p.m.-11:30 p.m.   "Saturday Night Football"

Friday, September 11
10:00-11:00 p.m.   20/20

Monday, September 21
8:00-10:00 p.m.   "Dancing with the Stars"
10:00-11:00 p.m.   "Castle"

Tuesday, September 22
8:00-10:00 p.m.   "Dancing with the Stars" (special two-hour episode)
10:00-11:00 p.m.   "The Forgotten"

Wednesday, September 23
8:00-9:00 p.m.       "Dancing with the Stars the Results Show" (special day and time)
9:00-9:30 p.m.       "Modern Family"
9:30-10:00 p.m.   "Cougar Town"

Thursday, September 24
8:00-9:00 p.m.       "FlashForward"
9:00-10:00 p.m.   "Grey's Anatomy"

Sunday, September 27
7:00-9:00 p.m.       "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" (two-hour season premiere)
9:00-10:00 p.m.   "Desperate Housewives"

Tuesday, September 29
8:00-9:00 p.m.       "Shark Tank" (in-season premiere)
9:00-10:00 p.m.   "Dancing with the Stars the Results Show"
               (regular day and time period premiere)

Wednesday, September 30
8:00-8:30 p.m.       "Hank"
8:30-9:00 p.m.       "The Middle"

Thursday, October 1
10:00-11:00 p.m.   "Private Practice"

Sunday, October 4
7:00-8:00 p.m.       "America's Funniest Home Videos"

Friday, October 9
8:00-10:00 p.m.   "Ugly Betty" (two-hour season premiere)

Friday, October 16
8:00-9:00 p.m.       "Supernanny"

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FOX ANNOUNCES NEW FALL PREMIERE DATES

Los Angeles, Ca., July 28th, 2009.                FOX announced changes to its fall premiere schedule today. The 2009-2010 season will kick off Wednesday, Sept. 9 with the sixth season premiere of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) followed by the series premiere of GLEE (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT). BROTHERS will debut during a special one-hour series premiere Friday, Sept. 25 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT), while Friday, Oct. 2 marks the return of ‘TIL DEATH (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT).

As previously announced, COPS (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT and 8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) and AMERICA’S MOST WANTED (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) premiere Saturday, Sept. 12. Thursday, Sept. 17 marks the return of BONES (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) and the thrilling second season premiere of FRINGE (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT). HOUSE jumpstarts its sixth season with a special two-hour premiere Monday, Sept. 21 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT), and the second season of DOLLHOUSE premieres Friday, Sept. 25 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT).

ANIMATION DOMINATION returns Sunday, Sept. 27 with the 21^st season premiere of THE SIMPSONS (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT), the series premiere of THE CLEVELAND SHOW (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) and the season premieres of FAMILY GUY (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) and AMERICAN DAD (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT).

The second season of hit drama LIE TO ME will premiere Monday, Sept. 28 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT). New Saturday late-night entry THE WANDA SYKES SHOW will debut Saturday, Nov. 7 (11:00 PM-Midnight ET/PT).

The new FOX fall schedule is as follows:

Wednesday, Sept. 9

8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT            SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (Season Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT            GLEE (Series Premiere)

Friday, Sept. 11

8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT            ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5^th GRADER? (All-New Episode)

9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT            GLEE (Premiere Encore)

Saturday, Sept. 12

8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT            COPS (Season Premiere)

8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT             COPS (All-New Episode)

9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT            AMERICA’S MOST WANTED (Season Premiere)

Thursday, Sept. 17

8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT            BONES (Season Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT            FRINGE (Season Premiere)

Friday, Sept. 18

8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT            ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5^th GRADER? (Season Finale)

9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT            GLEE (Encore)

Monday, Sept. 21

8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT            HOUSE (Two-Hour Season Premiere)

Friday, Sept. 25

8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT            BROTHERS (Special One-Hour Series Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT            DOLLHOUSE (Season Premiere)

Sunday, Sept. 27

7:00-8:00 PM ET/PT            BROTHERS (Encore)

8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT            THE SIMPSONS (Season Premiere)

8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT            THE CLEVELAND SHOW (Series Premiere)

9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT            FAMILY GUY (Season Premiere)

9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT            AMERICAN DAD (Season Premiere)

Monday, Sept. 28

8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT            HOUSE (All-New Episode)

9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT            LIE TO ME (Season Premiere)

Friday, Oct. 2

8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT            BROTHERS (Time Period Premiere)

8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT            ‘TIL DEATH (Season Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT            DOLLHOUSE (All-New Episode)

Saturday, Nov. 7

11:00 PM-Midnight ET/PT            THE WANDA SYKES SHOW (Series Premiere)

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ABC PICKS UP "WIPEOUT" FOR A THIRD SEASON

New York, N.Y., July 22nd, 2009.               "Wipeout," ABC's outrageously popular reality series, has been picked up for a third season. Twenty-four thrill-seekers will compete in the world's largest extreme obstacle course designed to provide the most spills, face plants and wipeouts ever seen on television.

Moving nights, from Tuesday last summer to Wednesday this year, against tougher competition from Fox's time-period veteran "So You Think You Can Dance," ABC's "Wipeout" is No. 1 during the
8 o'clock hour in Total Viewers and across each of the key Men demographics (M18-34/M18-49/M25-54). In Adults 18-49, "Wipeout" is a strong second to Fox's "Dance." Since its debut, "Wipeout" stands as Wednesday's No. 1 TV program in each of the Men demos (M18-34/M18-49/M25-54). It's the No. 5 TV series of Summer 2009 with Adults 18-49 and No. 1 with Men 18-49. On average to date, "Wipeout" is drawing ABC's largest summer audience in the Wednesday 8 o'clock hour in 13 years and highest Adults 18-49 rating during the summer frame in 10 years - since 1996 and 1999, respectively.

"Wipeout" is hosted by John Anderson (ESPN's "SportsCenter,"), John Henson ("Talk Soup") and co-hosted by Jill Wagner.

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FOUR-TIME EMMY AWARD AND THREE-TIME SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARD WINNER ALFRE WOODARD TO JOIN THE CAST OF "THREE RIVERS"

New York, N.Y., July 29th, 2009.               Four-time Emmy Award winner and three-time Screen Actors Guild Award winner Alfre Woodard ("Miss Ever's Boys") has joined the cast of the medical drama THREE RIVERS, which premieres Sunday, Oct. 4 (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

Woodard will play Dr. Sophia Jordan a brilliant surgeon at the top of her field and head of surgery for the hospital. She has a vast amount of experience, training all around the world, which gives her an extremely diverse point-of-view.

Woodard's television credits include Emmy Award winning performances in "Hill Street Blues," "L.A. Law," "Miss Ever's Boys" and "The Practice." She has starred in numerous feature films including "Cross Creek," for which she was nominated for an Academy Award, Tyler Perry's "The Family That Preys" and "Radio."

THREE RIVERS is a medical drama that goes inside the emotionally complex lives of organ donors, the recipients and the surgeons at the preeminent transplant hospital in the country, where every moment counts. However, dealing with donor families in their darkest hour and managing the fears and concerns of apprehensive recipients takes much more than just a sharp scalpel. In this high stakes arena, in which every case is a race against the clock, these tenacious surgeons and medical professionals are the last hope for their patients.

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GABRIELLE UNION JOINS THE CAST OF "FLASHFORWARD"

Los Angeles, Ca., July 28th, 2009.               Gabrielle Union ("Bring it On," "Bad Boys II") is joining the cast of ABC's exciting new fall drama, "FlashForward," in a recurring role as Zoey, a criminal defense attorney who will have a romantic arc on the show. "FlashForward" premieres THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 24 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network.

"We're thrilled that Gabrielle is joining our cast," said executive producer David S. Goyer. "When we met with her, we immediately knew she was our Zoey. She's witty, soulful and beautiful. I've been wanting to work with her for a long time."

What would you do if you were given a glimpse of the future? Would you accept what you saw and live life to its fullest, or would you do everything in your power to change your destiny? In "FlashForward," when the world's population is given a glimpse of their future, it forces everyone to come to grips with whether their destinies can be fulfilled or avoided.

On the big screen, Union was last seen in "Cadillac Records," opposite Mos Def, Adrien Brody, Beyonce Knowles and Jeffrey Wright. Her past films include "The Perfect Holiday," alongside Queen Latifah, Terrence Howard and Morris Chestnut, writer/director Tyler Perry's "Daddy's Little Girls," "Running with Scissors," starring Annette Bening, Gwyneth Paltrow, "FlashForward's" Joseph Fiennes and Alec Baldwin, "Bad Boys II," opposite Martin Lawrence and Will Smith, "Breakin' All the Rules," co-starring Jamie Foxx, "Deliver Us from Eva," alongside LL Cool J, "Bring It On," "Welcome to Collinwood," with George Clooney and Sam Rockwell, the thriller "Abandoned," opposite Benjamin Bratt and Katie Holmes, "Two Can Play That Game," "Love & Basketball," "Cradle to the Grave," "Ten Things I Hate About You," "The Brothers," "Neo Ned," "The Honeymooners," "Meet Dave" and "She's All That."

On television, she was recently seen on "Life." Last year she joined the cast of "Ugly Betty" for a multi-episode arc as the crazy younger sister to Vanessa Williams' Wilhelmina Slater character. In addition, she starred on ABC's critically acclaimed series "Night Stalker," opposite Stuart Townsend, and was also seen on HBO's award-winning "Something the Lord Made," starring Alan Rickman, Kyra Sedgwick and Mos Def.

Union made her television debut in the comedy "Moesha" and then went on to guest star on such shows as "ER," "Dave's World" and "The Steve Harvey Show." Shortly thereafter, she had a recurring role on "Sister, Sister" and "7th Heaven." She stirred things up when she guest starred as a love interest to both Joey and Ross on "Friends." She also joined the cast of Steven Bochco's "City of Angels" for one season.

Union's passion for acting is rivaled by her involvement as an Ambassador for the Susan G. Komen Foundation, as well as her support for the Rape Treatment Center (RTC) at UCLA and the Young Survivor Coalition (YSC). In her free time, she often visits the RTC to talk to young women and travels on behalf of Susan G. Komen and the YSC to share her story and inspire others.

"FlashForward" stars Joseph Fiennes as Mark Benford, John Cho as Demetri Noh, Jack Davenport as Lloyd Simcoe, Zachary Knighton as Bryce Varley, Peyton List as Nicole, Dominic Monaghan as Simon, Br’an F. O'Byrne as Aaron Stark, Courtney B. Vance as Stan Wedeck, Sonya Walger as Olivia Benford and Christine Woods as Janis Hawk.

The series executive producers are David S. Goyer (co-writer of "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight"), Brannon Braga ("24," "Star Trek"), Marc Guggenheim ("Brothers & Sisters," "Eli Stone") and Jessika Borsiczky Goyer ("Revelations"). "FlashForward" is from ABC Studios.

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DOMINIC MONAGHAN JOINS THE CAST OF "FLASHFORWARD"

Los Angeles, Ca., July 24th, 2009.               Dominic Monaghan ("Lost") is joining the cast of ABC's exciting new fall drama, "FlashForward," which premieres on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 24 (8:00-9:00pm, ET) on the ABC Television Network.

What would you do if you were given a glimpse of the future? Would you accept what you saw and live life to its fullest, or would you do everything in your power to change your destiny? In "FlashForward," when the world's population is given a glimpse of their future, it forces everyone to come to grips with whether their destinies can be fulfilled or avoided.

Aside from "Lost," Monaghan is also known for his portrayal of Hobbit Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck in the "Lord of the Rings" Trilogy. He recently appeared in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" and guest starred on "Chuck."

Before his worldwide success, he was known in England for his role in the British television drama, "Hetty Wainthropp Investigations." Monaghan's additional film credits include "Spivs," "The Purifiers," the dark psychological drama "Shooting Livien," and as narrator of the feature film "RINGERS: Lord of the Fans," a documentary that charts the ongoing influence of J.R.R. Tolkien's literary masterpieces. His upcoming feature film projects include MGM's "Pet" and "I Sell the Dead," which was featured at Slamdance this year.

Monaghan was born in Berlin and grew up in Manchester, England. He is an active environmentalist and enjoys the outdoors, wild animals, surfing and football (soccer in the U.S.), particularly Manchester United. In 2008 he combined two of his life's passions - photography and nature - and held his first exhibit, entitled "Happy Accidents."

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“SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE” TO AIR TWO-NIGHT SEASON FINALE LIVE FROM WORLD-RENOWNED KODAK THEATRE WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 5, AND THURSDAY, AUGUST 6, ON FOX

Los Angeles, Ca., July 23rd, 2009.               For the first time ever, the SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE two-night season finale, airing at a special time Wednesday, Aug. 5 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) and Thursday, Aug. 6 (8:00-10:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed) on FOX, will be broadcast from the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood.

“I am thrilled that America will finally get the chance not only to experience our dancers’ tremendous talent but also to see some exciting surprises as they are showcased from the Kodak Theatre, a truly first-class live entertainment venue,” said Nigel Lythgoe, Co-Creator/Executive Producer, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE.

Wednesday’s performance show will feature the ultimate showdown between the Top 4 finalists who will compete to impress the judges and to capture America’s vote. Immediately following the performance show, the phone lines will open and viewers will have the opportunity to vote for their favorite remaining finalists. Then, tune in the following night for the most-anticipated television event of the summer.

Thursday’s two-hour live grand finale will feature surprise guests and special performances by the Top 20 who will reunite on the Kodak Theatre stage. At the end of the celebration, host Cat Deeley will reveal America’s vote and America’s Favorite Dancer will be crowned live before thousands of fans and millions of television viewers. The winner will dance off with a cash prize of $250,000 and will be featured on the cover of the November issue of Dance Spirit magazine.

This season’s Top 10 dancers will participate in the 40-city SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Tour 2009. The tour kicks off Sunday, September 20 in Manchester, NH, and tickets go on sale Saturday, July 25. Go to fox.com/dance for more information.

The fifth season of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE continues to dominate and rank No. 1 among Adults 18-49, Adults 18-34 and Total Viewers (on Wednesday and Thursday) in its respective time periods.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE was created by Simon Fuller and Nigel Lythgoe and comes from 19 Entertainment Ltd. and dick clark productions. It is executive-produced by Simon Fuller, Nigel Lythgoe and Barry Adelman.

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CBS ANNOUNCES THE EIGHT FAMILIES SET TO COMPETE IN "THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD," A NEW REALITY-COMPETITION SERIES PREMIERING SUNDAY, AUGUST 9

Los Angeles, Ca., July 23rd, 2009.               The Actual Homes of This Real Neighborhood will be Surrounded by a Massive 20-Foot Wall as They Compete for the $250,000 Grand Prize

            CBS today announced the eight families set to compete in THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD, a new seven episode reality-competition series, premiering Sunday, Aug. 9 (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.   The series features these eight families living in their actual suburban neighborhood while being surrounded by a massive 20-foot wall as they compete in games for the grand prize of $250,000.

            The eight families competing, listed in alphabetical order, are:

THE BUSSIERE FAMILY

Tom (45 - 46 on July 25) - Dad

Susan (42) -- Mom

Elise (7) - Daughter

Jake (5) - Son

Marcia (74) - Grandmother

Bussiere Family Biography: http://tinyurl.com/l7eysu

THE DeGIROLAMO FAMILY

Jeff (46) - Dad

Lisa (44) - Mom

Greg (16) - Son

Chris (12) - Son

DeGirolamo Family Biography: http://tinyurl.com/l8w7mb

THE JOHNSTON FAMILY

Cameron (51) - Dad

Regina (44) - Mom

Carliegh (11) - Daughter

Theresa (25) - Niece

Johnston Family Biography: http://tinyurl.com/ngjt77

THE MULLENNIX/GOFF/HATCHER FAMILY

Clarissa "Chris" Mullennix (41) -- Mom

Renee Hatcher (42) -- Mom

Nathanael Mullennix (18) - Son

Keith Goff (17) - Son

Mullennix/Goff/Hatcher Family Biography: http://tinyurl.com/luerbu

THE NELSON FAMILY

Chris (47) - Dad

Mickey (47) - Mom

Christian (19) - Son

Branson (15) - Son

Jackson (7) - Son

Nelson Family Biography: http://tinyurl.com/nl6n6m

THE SCHINDLER FAMILY

David (40) - Dad

Christina (39) - Mom

Noah (12) - Son

Emmett (10) - Son

Olivia (6) - Daughter

Schindler Family Biography: http://tinyurl.com/nte6gd



THE SOUTHEY FAMILY

Laurie (38) - Mom

Haley (15) - Daughter

Southey Family Biography: http://tinyurl.com/l3gqkf

THE UPSHAW FAMILY

Ricardo (42) - Dad

Therese (42) - Mom

Christopher (21) - Son

Alexus (18) - Daughter

Upshaw Family Biography: http://tinyurl.com/kv3pz4

In what promises to be the ultimate social and family bonding experiment, the actual homes will be cut off from the outside world as it becomes family vs. family in a competition to win upgrades for their lives and their homes. With virtually no electricity and no ability to text-message, watch television or surf the internet, these families will be forced to reconnect and work together as a team. For the duration of the competition, the eight homes will be surrounded by the daunting 20-foot wall with no way in or out. The families will compete against their neighbors in the game, with one family eliminated each week, until the victorious group remains to claim the $250,000 grand prize.

            THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD is produced by Next Entertainment and Jay Bienstock Productions in association with Warner Horizon Television. Mike Fleiss ("The Bachelor," "High School Reunion") and Jay Bienstock ("The Apprentice, Supervising Producer, "SURVIVOR") are the executive producers. Matt Rogers ("American Idol," "Really Big Things") is the host.

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EVA LONGORIA PARKER AND GEORGE LOPEZ CO-HOST "THE 2009 ALMA AWARDS"

Los Angeles, Ca., July 27th, 2009.          "The 2009 ALMA Awards," celebrating the outstanding achievements of Latinos in entertainment, will air on FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 18 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. The show will tape on Thursday, September 17 at Royce Hall on the UCLA campus.

For the first time in the history of the show, the ALMA Awards will broadcast during National Hispanic Heritage Month, a month in which all Americans learn about the Latino community and celebrate the contributions that Latinos have made to this country throughout its history.

"Thanks to our partnership with ABC, we have realized the dream of having the ALMA Awards air during the month in which our community is recognized and celebrated. I can think of no better way to kick off National Hispanic Heritage Month than to show, and to honor, the impact that Latinos have had in film, television and music," said Janet Murgu’a, President and CEO of NCLR (National Council of La Raza), the largest national Latino civil rights and advocacy organization in the United States.

Building on past successes, the ALMA Awards will bring a new approach to this year's show. The first new development is the announcement of the co-hosts -- television and film actress Eva Longoria Parker will share her hosting duties with comedian and actor George Lopez, in addition to reprising her role as one of the show's executive producers.

In addition, long-time NCLR partner PepsiCo will also help the ALMA Awards make a splash in Hispanic Heritage Month by teaming up with the show on creative promotions and viewer engagement activities. PepsiCo and its brands see the show as a great opportunity to honor the Latino community through strong support of the ALMA Awards and as a way to connect with viewers and consumers.

"The ALMA Awards is a special show because it represents the determined spirit and soul of the Latino people, and I cannot think of a better person to help celebrate and co-host with me than my good friend, George Lopez," says Longoria Parker.

Lopez adds, "I've been a huge fan of NCLR and the ALMA Awards for years. I love working with Eva and I'm excited to be a part of the show!"

This year the ALMA Awards will also update the format of the show with some modifications to the nominations process in an effort to be more inclusive of the broad array of talent throughout the industry.

The show will focus on "Best of the Year" categories in film, television and music. New categories have also been added to recognize the influence of special segments of the entertainment industry that are shaping positive perceptions of the Latino community, such as emerging young talent (under 18), talent behind the scenes who make the onscreen magic happen, and a sports category in acknowledgment of the increasing integration of the worlds of sports and entertainment.

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ARTISTS FLO RIDA, HEIDI MONTAG, DAVID GUETTA AND KELLY ROWLAND TO PERFORM DURING THE LIVE TELECAST OF THE 2009 MISS UNIVERSE COMPETITION

New York, N.Y., July 23rd, 2009.               Paula M. Shugart, President of the Miss Universe Organization, announced today that superstar artists Flo Rida, Heidi Montag, David Guetta and Kelly Rowland will perform at the 2009 Miss Universe Pageant. Billy Bush, co-anchor of "Access Hollywood" and Claudia Jordan of "Celebrity Apprentice" and "Deal or No Deal," will host the competition live from Atlantis, Paradise Island, Bahamas on August 23rd at 9 PM ET on NBC and Telemundo.

International superstar Flo Rida will perform his hugely successful hit, "Right Round" and "Jump" as part of a two song medley during the Swimsuit Competition of the telecast. The rapper burst onto the scene in 2008 with his blockbuster debut album, "Mail on Sunday."
Flo Rida's single "Right Round," from his new album "R.O.O.T.S.," became the fastest million-selling digital song ever, reaching platinum status in just two weeks.

Included in the show will also be a performance by reality star Heidi Montag featuring her single "Turn Ya Head." The song comes from Montag's debut album, "Unleashed," which was released in July. Along with her music career, Montag is a cast member on the hit MTV show "The Hills."

David Guetta and Kelly Rowland will set the tone for the Evening Gown portion of the pageant. The popular duo will combine their talents as they perform their hit single, "When Love Takes Over." Guetta, a world-renowned French DJ and producer, will release his fourth studio album in August, "One Love," with Rowland, an accomplished R & B solo artist and former member of the band Destiny's Child, providing the vocals for its lead single. "When Love Takes Over" is already number one on the UK Singles Chart and is quickly climbing in the US, having already been downloaded over 120,000 times on iTunes.

Venezuelan native Dayana Mendoza, Miss Universe 2008, will crown her successor at the conclusion of the 2009 Miss Universe telecast. During her reign, she has traveled the globe as an advocate for HIV/AIDS education, research and legislation. The newly crowned Miss Universe will go on to do the same.

Each contestant from more than 80 countries around the world will be judged in three categories: swimsuit, evening gown and interview as they vie for the coveted title of Miss Universe 2009. In recent years, the pageant has been viewed before an estimated worldwide viewing audience of approximately 1 billion viewers.

Donald J. Trump and Phil Gurin will again serve as Executive Producers for MISS UNIVERSE® 2009.

To purchase tickets for the telecast please visit: www.missuniverse.com or http://www.atlantis.com/promotions/missuniversetickets.aspx.

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ACTORS MORGAN FAIRCHILD, JIM J. BULLOCK, ALAN THICKE AND MELISSA RIVERS TO APPEAR ON CBS's "THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL," MON. AUG. 10 TO FRI. AUG. 14

New York, N.Y., July 29th, 2009.               Actors Morgan Fairchild, Jim J. Bullock, Alan Thicke and Melissa Rivers will appear on CBS's THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL, beginning the week of Monday, Aug. 10, on the CBS Television Network. Fairchild, who appears Aug. 10-11 and Aug. 13-14, plays a Beverly Hills socialite friend of Stephanie Forrester (Susan Flannery), who prompts a dueling fashion show between rival fashion houses Forrester Creations and Jackie M.

Jim J. Bullock reprises his role as Sergei, while Alan Thicke returns as Rich Ginger, and Melissa Rivers plays herself, as celebrity judges at the fashion show, airing Aug. 12-14.

In addition, "America's Next Top Model" runner-up Samantha Potter will play a Jackie M. model during the show, airing Aug. 13-14.

THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL is broadcast weekdays (1:30-2:00 PM, ET; 12:30- 1:00 PM, PT) on the CBS Television Network. The show has taped over 5,000 episodes in its over 20 years on the air and is viewed daily by millions of viewers in more than 100 countries, making it the most-watched dramatic serial in the world.

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ABC ANNOUNCES CRASH COURSE

Los Angeles, Ca., July 23rd, 2009.               This summer ABC fulfills your need for speed and laughs by putting you in the driver's seat of "Crash Course," a one of a kind automotive competition reality series produced by A. Smith & Co. Productions, the producers of "I Survived a Japanese Game Show" and "Hell's Kitchen." Hosts are Orlando Jones ("Drumline," "Biker Boyz") and Dan Cortese ("The Superstars" "Surviving Suburbia"). Production was shot in the automobile capitol of the world, Detroit, Michigan. The program airs Wednesday nights from 9:00-10:00 p.m., ET on the ABC Television Network, starting AUGUST 26.

Imagine racing fast and furious in the ultimate driving course. Now imagine it with your significant other or mother right beside you giving you directions, all the while seeing flaming ramps up ahead. "Crash Course" will not only put the couples' navigating skills to the test, but will test drive their relationships and patience, as teams work together and summon their greatest driving skills to make it across the finish line. The contestants will be everyday people from all walks of life who have a pre-existing relationship (father and daughter, boyfriend and girlfriend, best friends, etc). Each week, five teams of two will compete against each other, being eliminated one by one as they battle through several challenges before facing the final "Crash Course" at the end of each episode -- the ultimate gravity and logic defying driving test -- for a chance to win the ultimate prize of $50,000.

Teams will be tested individually as well as in group races by such competitions as car bowling, backward drag racing -- with a boat in tow -- and parallel parking the most challenging vehicle ever (as in tank, fire truck, bus). Driving on the road of life is not about the destination but the journey, and for these contestants it'll be a hilarious, nerve wracking and emotional lap to victory. Whether it's driving on an exploding slalom course or bursting through garage doors with no idea what lies on the other side, contestants will have to face speed bumps, falling objects and all manner of extreme driving conditions to conquer the "Crash Course."

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RICHARD CASTLE OF ABC'S CASTLE GOES LIVE ON TWITTER

Los Angeles, Ca., July 29th, 2009.               It's summertime, and New York City is hot and humid. With his deadline closing in, famous crime-mystery novelist Richard Castle is working to finish his Nikki Heat novel, "Heat Wave." The city offers a wealth of distractions for a procrastinating author, and since his 15-year-old daughter, Alexis, introduced him to Twitter, Castle has become addicted.

Castle and Alexis take off for their house in the Hamptons, and what starts as a respite for Castle turns into yet another mystery for him to help solve. And this time, he tweets his theories to his followers.

It all begins when a foot without a body washes up on the beach. Local law enforcement thinks it's an accident, a shark attack, but Castle's certain there's more to it than that and twitters his theories to his many fans. Much to the chagrin of the local police, Castle puts himself into the middle of the investigation. The game's afoot!

For the next six weeks, fans will be able to give Castle advice, eavesdrop on his affairs and his family, and help him solve his summer mystery.

Richard Castle's Twitter handle is @WriteRCastle or visit http://twitter.com/WriteRCastle. There is also a link to his Facebook page, so fans will be able to see how this famous creator of Murder, Mystery and the Macabre spends his time away from the precinct.

"Castle" airs Mondays (10:00-11:00 p.m., ET/PT) on ABC.

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CHUCKMEOUT.COM LAUNCHES DURING COMIC-CON

Universal City, Ca., July 28th, 2009.               Fans of Chuck have a new online hang out: ChuckMeOut.com. Launched during the Chuck panel at Comic-Con, ChuckMeOut.com is the place for everything Chuck, where fans of all stripes can join together to enjoy exclusive content from the show and see what's happening with Chuck on the net.

"We have the best fans in the world. Their support has such passion and creativity, and we were looking for a way to say thanks," said Chris Fedak, Co-creator and Executive Producer for Chuck. "ChuckMeOut.com also allows the show to interact directly with the blogosphere, so we can share our excitement about the upcoming season."

ChuckMeOut.com offers users unique opportunities to go behind the scenes with video clips directly from cast and crew. Blogs keep fans in the know with updates from the set and the latest Chuck news from around the net. Exciting tasks challenge fans' Chuck-IQ and creativity. And most importantly, social networking tools and activities allow users to interact and share with fellow fans.

Fans can also continue to log on to NBC.com's entertaining Chuck digital experience for full episodes, original webisodes, blogs, games, and more.

Chuck returns to NBC for its third season on Mondays, 8/7c, following the 2010 Winter Olympics.

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NBC.COM LAUNCHES NEW SITE FOR NBC'S 'THE JAY LENO SHOW'

Burbank, Ca., July 22nd, 2009.                NBC.com has launched a new website for NBC's new fall comedy series "The Jay Leno Show" (Monday-Friday, 10-11 p.m. ET).

Fans can log on now for a weekly video message from series star Jay Leno and 24-hour live streaming video from the set. NBC.com "The Jay Leno Show" (http://www.nbc.com/the-jay-leno-show/) will be the place to catch all the breaking news leading up to the September 14 premiere.

In addition to Leno's weekly address the site will feature two insider blogs. The first is a blog that will cover everything from behind-the-scenes happenings on the show to occasional five-minute mini-shows with various guests hosted by online correspondent Bryan Branly. Branly worked on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" for 10 years. He is currently a talent coordinator booking stunts and real-people talents. Bryan has also been the stand-in at rehearsals for everyone from audience members and talent to Leno himself. The taped mini-shows, premiering on July 27, will air on the 24-hour live feed at 10 p.m. ET/PT. The other blog from longtime Leno band member Vicki Randall takes a lifestyle angle and a different look at preparing for the move to primetime with weight-loss challenge she calls "Lose 10 by 10." Behind the scenes photos and photos of the new set as it undergoes construction will be posted each day.

Fans can also relive some of their favorite moments from the previous late-night's "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno." In addition to the original show content, visitors can submit their own videos and join "The Jay Leno Show" community with Twitter, Facebook, mobile alerts and more.

NBC.com will also continue to bring fans inside Leno's garage with the two-time Emmy Award-nominated site "Jay Leno's Garage," http://www.jaylenosgarage.

Leno, recently named "America's Favorite TV Personality" by the 2009 Harris Poll, announced in December 2008 that while he would be leaving "The Tonight Show," he would remain at NBC and embark on an adventure that marks a new era in television. "The Jay Leno Show" will be the first entertainment program to be stripped across primetime on broadcast network television and will showcase many of the features that have made Leno America's late-night leader for more than a dozen years.

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'THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O'BRIEN' LISTINGS

Thursday, July 30: Paul Giamatti, Jack Dagger & Tonya Kay and musical guest Regina Spektor

Friday, July 31: Adam Richman and musical guest Ben Harper and the Relentless Seven

Monday, August 3: Ashton Kutcher, Charlyne Yi and musical guest Gomez

Tuesday, August 4: Jeremy Piven, The Human Cannonballs and musical guest All-American Rejects

Wednesday, August 5: Sienna Miller, Steve Schirripa

Thursday, August 6: Features musical guest The Jonas Brothers

Friday, August 7: Eric Bana, Mary Lynn Rajskub and musical guest Flo Rida

Monday, August 10: Kyra Sedgwick, Hugh Dancy and musical guest Lyle Lovett

Tuesday, August 11: Jon Hamm and musical guest Cobra Starship with Estelle

Wednesday, August 12: Gordon Ramsay, BJ Novak and Willard Wigan

Thursday, August 13: Robin Williams, Piers Morgan

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UPCOMING GUESTS ON THE "LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN"

Thursday, July 30                    Actor Adam Sandler; musical guests Cage the Elephant

Friday, July 31                          Talk/game show host Regis Philbin; comedian Ted        Alexandro; musical guests Dave Matthews Band

Monday, Aug. 3                       Actor Daniel Radcliffe; ballerina Veronika Part; musical             guest Levon Helm; a Top Ten List presented by Bruno

Tuesday, Aug. 4                    Actor Jonah Hill; baseball stance expert Gar Ryness;        musical guest Kelly Clarkson

Wednesday, Aug. 5                 Actor Johnny Depp; actress Megan Fox

Thursday, Aug. 6                      Actor Ray Romano; musical guests St. Vincent

Friday, Aug. 7                          Actor Joaquin Phoenix; Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue         cover model Bar Rafaelli; musical guest Anthony Hamilton

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ON JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE

July 30
1. Actor Seth Rogen ("Funny People") 2. Actress Melissa Sagemiller ("Raising the Bar") 3. Musical guest Jack's Mannequin

July 31
1. Actress Anne Heche ("Spread") 2. Actress Aubrey Plaza ("Funny People") 3. Musical guest Diane Birch

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LISTINGS FOR 'LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON'

Thursday, July 30 – Show 0089 – Guests include Ashley Tisdale, Tim Meadows, and musical guest Jarvis Cocker

Friday, July 31 – Show 0090 – Guests include Adam Sandler and musical guest Jimmy Buffett

Monday, August 3 – Show 0091 – Guests include Marlon Wayans, Judd Apatow, and musical guest Incubus

Tuesday, August 4 – Show 0092 – Guests include Channing Tatum, Joan Rivers, and musical guest Artic Monkeys

Wednesday, August 5 – Show 0093 – Guests include Chris Kattan

Thursday, August 6 – Show 0094 – Guests include Jeremy Piven, Charlene Yi, and Greg Giraldo

Friday, August 7 – Show 0095 – Guests include Paul Giamatti, Ken Joeng, and musical guest Julian Plenti

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UPCOMING GUESTS ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW with CRAIG FERGUSON"

Thursday, July 30                     Actor James Spader; actress Rose Byrne;

Friday, July 31                          Actress Saffron Burrows

Monday, August 3                    Actress Edie Falco; Survivorman Les Stroud; comedian Lisa Landry

Tuesday, August 4                    Actor Tony Shalhoub; actress Minka Kelly

Wednesday, August 5               News anchor Wolf Blitzer

Thursday, August 6                   Actress Sigourney Weaver; music by Glasvegas

Friday, August 7                       Comedian Don Rickles; music by Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings

Monday, August 10             Comedian Carrot Top; actress Alexis Bledel

Tuesday, August 11             Author Mitch Albom; performance by Bonnie Raitt & Taj Mahal

Wednesday, August 12        Actor Eric Bana; music by Holly Williams

Thursday, August 13            Actor Jon Cryer from the CBS comedy series "Two and a Half Men"

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QUOTABLES FROM 'LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON' July 20 – July 24

"Today marks the 40th anniversary of the moon landing. It also marks 40 years since Neil Armstrong has had a new story to tell at parties."

"Astronaut Michael Collins was the pilot that day – but only got to orbit the moon. That's gotta suck. It's like being the designated driver for the greatest night of your buddy's life. "Dude, remember when we walked on the moon?" "No, I don't remember… because I didn't get to walk on the moon…I was DRIVING.""

"Little known fact: the reason Michael Collins didn't get to walk on the moon was because he chose paper and Neil Armstrong chose scissors."

"Astronauts on the International Space Station are trying to repair an overflowing toilet. I don't know who's responsible, but one astronaut bragged, "That's one small step for man, one giant poop for Dan Kind.""

"Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said the United States will build two nuclear plants in India. Here's the weird part about those power plants in India. They're going to outsource all the jobs to Americans."

"This morning, Hillary Clinton said that the U.S. will not comment on North Korea's nuclear tests - to avoid giving them attention. Then she said, "Oh wait - dammit.""

"Congratulations to Al Roker's whose new show, "Wake Up With Al," premiered this morning on the Weather Channel. What a coincidence. "Waking Up With Al" is also the name of "the reason I quit drinking.""

"Paula Abdul's manager says she hasn't been asked back to American Idol for next season. I'm not surprised – she's asking for 10 million… milligrams."

"A love letter discovered behind a fireplace has reunited a British man and a Spanish woman after 16 years. Wow. I can already smell a movie that your boyfriend doesn't want to see."

"Jon Gosselin - from "Jon & Kate Plus 8" – just moved into an apartment on New York City's Upper West Side. While Kate and all the kids moved into a shoe."

"Yesterday, Valerie Bertinelli ran and completed her first half-marathon. Meanwhile, Kirstie Alley completed her first half of a bison."

"Millions of citizens in India are preparing for tomorrow's rare solar eclipse. Many people believe it means that demons will appear and swallow the sun. It's all anyone in India is talking about - making tomorrow the worst possible day to need tech support."

"On Monday Defense Secretary Robert Gates announced that the US will send an additional 22,000 troops to Iraq to speed up the withdrawal effort. It's all part of the administration's new exit strategy: reverse psychology."

"A new book reveals that George Bush's twin daughters - Jen and Barbara - were a nightmare for the Secret Service to keep tabs on. The girls responded by saying, "That's not true. We had TABS at every bar we went to."

"TLC is creating a new reality show that follows a morbidly obese family facing everyday challenges. It's called "Jon and Kate were delicious.""

"A woman in Arizona said that sitting on a "hot penny on her car seat" gave her third degree burns on her behind. Now if she sits on a nickel, a dime, and a quarter - she'll have created the very first Mount Tushmore."

"The University of Alabama is now using the Nintendo Wii to teach students how to perform CPR. Here's how it works: You push down on the victim's chest three times, then hit a, b, a, b, select, start… and then the person dies."

"A dentist in Florida is being sued for dropping a mini-wrench and a screwdriver down the throat of his patient. On the bright side, the man pooped out a brand new Ikea bookcase."

"A man in Canada was arrested for driving while watching a porno on DVD. In his defense, he said he was "just trying to learn how to drive stick.""

"Hey, did you guys see Michelle Obama last night? She just got a new haircut. It's the first real cut of the Obama administration."

"Dr. Regina Benjamin - President Obama's pick for surgeon general - is facing criticism for being overweight. I don't know if Dr. Benjamin's weight should be an issue - but her food pyramid does call for 3 to 5 daily servings of McRibs."

"Over 125,000 people are expected to attend Comic-Con which begins tomorrow in San Diego. It's the biggest Virgin--I'm sorry, Comic Book convention in the world."

"I love Comic-Con. Or as hospitals in San Diego are calling it, "Asthma Fest '09!""

"Fun fact – the First Comic-Con was held in 1970 and only 300 people attended. Okay... 600 if you count parents picking them up."

"The world's first chocolate made from "camel's milk" is about to go on sale in the U.S. In response, chocolate lovers said…. "Yaaaay?"

"The Chihuahua from the Taco Bell commercials died yesterday at the age of 15. The dog's final words were, "Yo quiero morphine.""

"The recession is hitting England...52 pubs are closing there every week. Wow. 52 pubs closing every week… (British accent) That's a total of…six months…times four weeks per month…which is 24. So multiply that by 52. Then carry the two…and add another two – Bollux, I need a drink."

"Sports reporter Erin Andrews was secretly videotaped undressing in her hotel room...and the video was posted online. I think I speak for everyone when I say … thank God this didn't happen to John Madden."

"Did you see Obama's press conference on Health Care last night? It was very interesting - he said if a patient is choosing between a red pill and a blue pill that both work - go with the cheaper pill. Obama got that advice from his new Surgeon General - Keanu Reeves."

"Finally some good economic news today -- Ford announced they made a profit of 2.3 billion dollars over the last three months. I think it's because people responded to their new slogan, "Ford: We're not General Motors."

"In an interview in Thailand yesterday, Hillary Clinton said she was asked if she still wanted to be President. Hillary said, (nodding yes) "No, no… that's not something I ever think about.""

"New research shows that the average in adult forget three things each day. The most common are: Internet passwords, charging cell phones, and… something else (I forget)."

"Walt Disney's G-Force premieres tomorrow – it's a 3-D action film about "Secret agent guinea pigs." It's a great movie for kids… and stoners."

"In an interview with a German newspaper, Brad Pitt said he doesn't believe in God. And God was like – "Seriously? Brad Pitt doesn't believe in me? After all I've done for this guy."

"The Naked Cowboy in Times Square he's announced that he is running for Mayor of New York City. I saw him and trust me – he needs support."

"Did you guys watch "Nightline" last night? President Obama said that since becoming president, he's gone from praying only before bed - to praying "all the time." And it's always the same prayer – "God, please don't let Joe Biden say something stupid today.""

"The ratings for President Obama's press conference Wednesday night were down 14% from his last one. To try to boost ratings for his next press conference, they're having his cousin Oliver move into the White House."

"Three mayors in New Jersey were arrested yesterday in a huge money laundering scheme. Investigators knew something didn't smell right… aside from what normally doesn't smell right in New Jersey."

"Out in California - federal agents just destroyed 318,000 marijuana plants. Stoners haven't been this upset since they tried to order a Sausage McMuffin at 11:05."

"What? Come on - it's only 5 minutes! I can see them - they're right there. They're still hot. You're just gonna throw them out anyway."

"A toy company in Japan has invented a device that can translate dogs' barking into simple words – by detecting emotions like joy, alertness, neediness, and frustration. They've also designed one for cats that detects smugness, smugness, apathy, and smugness. (ALT. indifference, arrogance, smug, disdain)

"In Belgium yesterday three inmates escaped from prison after their friend hijacked a helicopter and picked them up from their prison yard. Authorities are on the lookout for The A-Team."

"A teen-version of the self-help bestseller - "The Secret" – will be out this fall. It's called, "Are You There, Mysterious Law That Runs Like A Golden Thread Through The Universe And Governs All Of Our Lives? It's Me, Margaret.""

"This August, President Obama is renting a vacation home on Martha's Vineyard. It's amazing…it has a basketball court, swimming pool, apple orchard, and driving range. The president says he can't wait to shoot hoops, while Michelle looks forward to pulling apple trees out of the ground with her bare hands."

"A man in California sued a "Claim Jumpers" restaurant after he found a condom in his French onion soup. The man complained, "It just wasn't the same sensation I get when I eat French Onion soup.""

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THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Things That Went Through Mark Buehrle's Mind During His Perfect Game"

As presented by Chicago White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle on the Monday, July 27 broadcast

10.       I did it! I did it! Oh wait, it's only the fourth inning.

9.         If this doesn't get Kate Hudson to notice me, nothing will.

8.         Too bad I'm not on my own fantasy team.

7.         My brother-in-law bowled a perfect game.

6.         (Teammates Josh Fields and DeWayne Wise): We're going to Disneyworld!

            (Buehrle): And I'm running for governor of Alaska.

5.         Did I remember to TiVo "So You Think You Can Dance"?

4.         I'm leaving after the 7^th inning to beat the traffic.

3.         Should I shave my back?

2.         Sunflower seed...lodged in my windpipe...get help!

1.         Maybe I'll give up one hit so I don't have to appear on Letterman.

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From the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska... THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Things Overheard at Sarah Palin?s Farewell Party"

As presented on the Friday, July 24 broadcast

10.       "More tiny hot dog appetizers? You betcha."

9.         "Don't forget to schedule an appointment with Joe the mover."

8.         "Quiet down! We don't want to wake the Russians."

7.         "Todd, I've always wanted to know - what is it you do exactly?"

6.         "John McCain passed out in the dip."

5.         "Where can I check my pelt?"

4.         "Bad news - the new governor just quit."

3.         "Please accept this gift from all of us at Lenscrafters."

2.         "'Dancing with the Stars' called, they got your resume."

1.         "I haven't seen you since the ‘Fire David Letterman' rally."

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THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Surprises in the President Obama's News Conference"

As presented on the Thursday, July 23 broadcast

10.       Began with a moment of silence for the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

9.         Vice President Biden stepped up to the podium pleading for "hair plug reform."

8.         Put on the KISS makeup and sang "Dr. Love."

7.         MSNBC reporter tried to hug him, so Obama went after him with a fire extinguisher.

6.         Wore his skinny jeans.

5.         His ten minute infomercial for the Slap Chop.

4.         Claimed he's borrowing $1 trillion from Regis.

3.         Told everyone to watch "Men and their Vegetables," Friday on the "LATE SHOW."

2.         In one hour, he went through two packs of Camels.

1.         Said he's resigning to run for Governor of Alaska.

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THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Questions on the Surgeon General Application"

As presented on the Wednesday, July 22 broadcast

10.       Are you a surgeon?

9.         Can you grow a crazy beard like C. Everett Koop?

8.         Are you a general?

7.         Any idea what a surgeon general is supposed to do?

6.         Do you have a normal looking pair of jeans the President could borrow?

5.         Have you ever obtained pills for Rush Limbaugh?

4.         McDreamy or McSteamy?

3.         Due to the recession, do you mind working for free?

2.         Can we blame the health care crisis on you?

1.         Will you look the other way when the President lights up a butt?

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