OLYMPICS OPENING CEREMONY TO AIR AT NEW, EARLY START TIME 7:30 PM ET/PT, FRIDAY ON NBC          The Opening Ceremony for the Beijing Olympic Games this Friday will now air at a special early start time, 7:30 p.m. ET/PT.       (Read More)

CBS TO SPONSOR ITS FOURTH MULTICULTURAL SKETCH COMEDY TALENT SHOWCASE TO BE DIRECTED BY RICK NAJERA, IN ASSOCIATION WITH AFTRA, AMERICAN INDIANS IN FILM AND TELEVISION, EAST WEST PLAYERS, NOSOTROS, SAG AND THE ROBEY THEATRE COMPANY             CBS will sponsor its fourth talent showcase for multicultural sketch comedians in January 2009 in Los Angeles.       (Read More)

NBC NEWS WILL PRESENT MORE THAN 200 HOURS OF COVERAGE FROM THE DEMOCRATIC AND REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTIONS           The networks of NBC News – NBC, MSNBC, CNBC, Telemundo, MSNBC.com and NBC Mobile – will present more than 200 total hours of live coverage of the Democratic National Convention, Aug. 25-28, and the Republican National Convention, Sept. 1-4.       (Read More)

REGIS PHILBIN AND KELLY RIPA GUEST STAR AS THEMSELVES IN THE SEASON PREMIERE OF "UGLY BETTY"          Emmy-winning daytime television mavens Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa will guest star as themselves on ABC's "Ugly Betty" in the show's season premiere, airing September 25.       (Read More)

CBS NEWS' BOB SCHIEFFER TO MODERATE FINAL PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE ON OCT. 15, 2008          Bob Schieffer, CBS News Chief Washington Correspondent and anchor of FACE THE NATION, will moderate the third and final presidential debate between Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.).       (Read More)

ACTOR MICHAEL GROSS ("FAMILY TIES") TO JOIN CBS's "THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS" BEGINNING FRIDAY, AUG. 15          Actor Michael Gross ("Family Ties") joins the Number One daytime drama, THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, Friday, Aug. 15.       (Read More)

DANNY TREJO ("SPY KIDS," "FROM DUSK 'TIL DAWN") MAKES HIS DAYTIME DEBUT ON CBS's "THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS" BEGINNING TUESDAY, AUG. 11          Danny Trejo ("Spy Kids," "From Dusk 'Til Dawn") makes his daytime debut on the Number One daytime drama, THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, Tuesday, August 11.       (Read More)

WINNERS OF “TEEN CHOICE 2008” ANNOUNCED          This year, teens logged on to www.teenchoiceawards.com and cast approximately 32 million votes in support of their favorite celebrities in film, television, music, sports and fashion.       (Read More)

UPCOMING GUESTS ON THE "LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN"        (Read More)

UPCOMING GUESTS ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW with CRAIG FERGUSON"        (Read More)

OPENING REMARKS FROM THE "LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN"        (Read More)

QUOTABLES FROM NBC'S 'LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN'        (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Things Overheard at Barack Obama's Birthday Party "        (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "New Words"        (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Jerry Lewis Excuses"        (Read More)

PRODUCTION HAS BEGUN ON ABC'S "LIFE ON MARS"

New York, N.Y.,  August 05, 2008.          Production has begun in New York on "Life on Mars," ABC's highly anticipated new drama ser to premiere THURSDAY, OCTOBER 9 (10:00-11:00 p.m., ET), after the hit drama "Grey's Anatomy."

NYPD Detective Sam Tyler (Jason O'Mara) finds himself in 1973 in the cultural hotbed of New York City during the tumultuous times of the Vietnam War, Watergate, women's lib and the civil and gay rights movements - without a cell phone, computer, PDA or MP3 player -- suddenly hurtled back in time when he's ripped from 2008 after being hit by a car while chasing down a criminal. He's trying mightily to understand what has just happened to him and how he can get back "home."

Sam feels like he is on a different planet. It's the Wild West out there: uncontrollable criminals, police on the take. Forced to use a different moral code and without hi-tech crime fighting techniques, he clashes with his new boss at the 125th Precinct, the irascible Lieutenant Gene Hunt (Harvey Keitel), who would rather use his fists than his brains to solve a crime. The other squad members of the 1-2-5 include Detective Ray Carling (Michael Imperioli), a big, mean guy in a street-fight with life. Ray may be a rough, tough sexist, but he's a handy guy to have in your corner. Annie Norris (Gretchen Mol) is a member of the Police Women's Bureau. At a time when females were only allowed to do menial tasks and not real police work, she's the smartest person in the room. Struggling to deal with being undermined, under-used and, in general, against the sexism of the times, she dreams of becoming a real cop. She's also the one person Sam can turn to to help guide him in his new reality. Then there's rookie Detective Chris Skelton (Jonathan Murphy), a sweet guy trying to make it in this uncompromising world, but out of his league right now with Gene and Ray.

In his 2008 life, Sam was in love with Maya Daniels (Lisa Bonet) and, although Maya and Annie will never meet, Annie's workplace battles have paved the way for Maya to become a full-fledged cop. A fascinating, unique love triangle evolves between Sam's "real" in-the-moment friendship with Annie, his longing to get back to Maya and the fantasy of what could be. Just how will Sam deal with all this ambiguity while trying to remain a top detective, as he desperately attempts to get back to 2008? He might just find things aren't so dissimilar in New York circa 1973 and 2008.

"Life on Mars" stars Jason O'Mara ("In Justice," "Grey's Anatomy," "Men in Trees") as Sam Tyler, Harvey Keitel ("Bugsy," "Reservoir Dogs," "National Treasure," "The Piano," "Mean Streets") as Lieutenant Gene Hunt, Michael Imperioli ("The Sopranos," "Oprah Winfrey Presents: Mitch Albom's For One More Day") as Detective Ray Carling, Gretchen Mol ("3:10 to Yuma," "The Notorious Bettie Page," "The Memory Keeper's Daughter") as Annie Norris and Jonathan Murphy ("October Road") as Detective Chris Skelton. Lisa Bonet ("High Fidelity," "Enemy of the State," "The Bill Cosby Show") will appear as a recurring guest star as Maya Daniels.

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FOX AGREES TO SEASON FIVE OF “SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE” 

Los Angeles, Ca.,  August 4th, 2008.          FOX has ordered a fifth season of the summer’s hottest show, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE. Created by Simon Fuller and Nigel Lythgoe, the original dance competition follows amateur dancers as they compete in everything from Hip-Hop, Krumping and Popping to Salsa, Quickstep and Jive to be named America’s favorite dancer.

FOX's President of Alternative Entertainment, Mike Darnell said, “We're delighted to have DANCE back for a fifth season next year. FOX is very lucky to have television's preeminent performance competitions in AMERICAN IDOL and SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, and it’s no coincidence that creator and executive producer Simon Fuller and executive producer and judge Nigel Lythgoe have been a part of both these successes.”

The winner will join the SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Live Tour 2008, which kicks off Saturday, Sept. 20 in Tacoma, WA. Tickets, now on sale, are available through Ticketmaster. For more information as well as a full list of tour cities and dates, visit www.fox.com/dance.

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JOHN MCCAIN AND BARACK OBAMA TAPE FUNNY CAMPAIGN ADS FOR SEASON FINALE OF 'LAST COMIC STANDING' ON THURSDAY, AUGUST 7

BURBANK, Calif. – August 4, 2008. – America's vote to determine NBC's "Last Comic Standing" will be revealed on Thursday, August 7 (8:00-9:30 p.m. ET) in the show's lively, must-see season finale that will also feature funny campaign ads from Presidential nominees Barack Obama and John McCain, and special guest appearances by Jon Lovitz, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Joel McHale and current "Last Comic Standing" champion Jon Reep. Bill Bellamy hosts the Emmy-nominated series and Fearne Cotton is the co-host.

In last week's episode, Jeff Dye (Seattle, Washington), Louis Ramey (Queens, NY), Iliza Shlesinger (Hollywood, California) and Jim Tavare (London, England) were chosen by America's vote to be in the top five, joining Marcus (West Jordan, Utah), who won a spot in the final five by winning the challenge in the previous week's episode. This week, viewers will learn which of the final five America chose to be the "Last Comic Standing" and win the $250,000 grand prize, including an exclusive talent deal with NBC, a brand new Honda Pilot, and a starring appearance in Jubilee! at Bally's Las Vegas.

But first, it's a night of non-stop laughs with "Last Comic Standing" campaign ads filmed by Democratic Presidential nominee Barack Obama and Republican Presidential nominee John McCain, and stand-up performances by Jon Lovitz and reigning "Last Comic Standing" champion Jon Reep. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and Joel McHale, host of E! Entertainment's "The Soup," also guest star.

This season's top 12 finalists also return, including God's Pottery, performing the opening song specially written for the finale. In addition, Richard Belzer and Steve Schirripa, who were celebrity talent scouts in the season premiere and the semi-final episodes, will make guest appearances. Then, at the end of the star-studded season finale, the "Last Comic Standing" will be revealed!

"Last Comic Standing" is produced by Peter Engel Productions and Universal Media Studios. The executive producers are Peter Engel ("Saved By the Bell," "The Next Best Thing"), David Friedman (NBC's "Last Call with Carson Daly," "NBC's New Years Eve with Carson Daly") and Barry Katz ("Action," "Dane Cook's Tourgasm"). Javier Winnik (NBC's "The Singing Bee"), Page Hurwitz ("Last Comic Standing 4 & 5") and Noel Guerra (Bravo's "Project Runway") are co-executive producers.

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COSTAS & LAUER TO HOST NBC'S COVERAGE OF BEIJING OLYMPICS OPENING CEREMONY

BEIJING – August 4, 2008. NBC Olympic primetime host Bob Costas will host the Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony alongside co-host Matt Lauer, NBC's 'Today' co-anchor, this Friday, August 8, 2008 – 8.8.08 – at a special early start time announced yesterday, 7:30 p.m. ET/PT. Costas and Lauer will be joined by reporters from NBC Sports and NBC News: NBC Sports reporters Andrea Joyce and Bob Neumeier and NBC News' Richard Engel, Chief Foreign Correspondent; and Peter Alexander, Correspondent. The announcement was made today by Dick Ebersol, Chairman, NBC Universal Sports & Olympics and Executive Producer of NBC Universal's Beijing Olympic coverage.

"In a world that has as many tensions as our world today, there is a moment of hope that comes from seeing all the world's best, young athletes gather peacefully together," said Dick Ebersol, Chairman, NBC Universal Sports & Olympics, who is working his ninth Olympics and seventh as executive producer of NBC's coverage. "When the record 205 nations, many of whom are in conflict with one another, come together on Friday it will represent a greater sense of cooperation than we get from any political body, including the U.N. The fact that the three most powerful men in the world will all be in one place watching the Olympic Opening Ceremony, is testament to how very curious the world is about China and how China deal with these Olympics."

"The Olympic Opening Ceremony is the most important event for the vast majority of the athletes here. Most won't come close to a medal, and for them, this is the pinnacle of their athletic careers."

NBC Universal, broadcasting its 11th Olympics and surpassing ABC for the most Olympics broadcast by any network, will present an unprecedented 3,600 hours of Beijing Olympic Games coverage (nearly 2,900 live hours in total), across the most platforms, of any Summer Olympics in history.

COSTAS: "In addition to the off-the-charts spectacular Opening Ceremony that the organizers have planned, what will become immediately apparent to an American audience is that these Olympics are so eagerly anticipated here in China."

LAUER: "In many ways the Opening Ceremony sets the tone for the two weeks of competion and celebration that will follow. There is obviously a lot at stake for the Chinese, and I'm I thrilled to have the chance to be a part of a broadcast that will bring this story back to all the viewers at home."

The 2008 Beijing Olympics will be Bob Costas' eighth for NBC Sports and his seventh as primetime host. The 19-time Emmy Award winner is one of the most respected and honored broadcasters of his generation. Costas has won acclaim and Emmy Awards each year for his work as primetime host from Barcelona, Atlanta, Sydney, Salt Lake City and Athens. He served as late night host in 1988 from Seoul. Costas hosts NBC's "Football Night in America," a complete recap of each Sunday in the NFL. Costas, who has the longest tenure of the network's sports announcers, joined NBC in 1980.

The 2008 Beijing Olympics will be Matt Lauer's sixth Olympics for 'Today' and his first in a role on the primetime Opening Ceremony broadcast. Lauer will begin his broadcast duties for "Today" from Beijing today, Monday, August 4. Lauer has served as co-anchor of "Today" since 1997, he joined the show in 1994 as news anchor.

Meredith Vieira and Ann Curry will join Lauer in Beijing Thursday, August 7 on "Today's" exclusive set on the Olympic Green. "Today's" set is centrally located in Olympic Park and boasts outstanding views of the remarkable Birds Nest Olympic stadium, The Water Cube (the aquatics center) and the National Indoor Stadium (the gymnastics venue).

Chinese filmmaker Zhang Yimou is the chief director of both the Opening and Closing Ceremonies. He is best known internationally for the films Raise the Red Lantern (1991) and House of Flying Daggers (2004).

The Opening Ceremony will officially begin the Beijing Olympic Games but Olympic competition actually begins with live opening round soccer matches on MSNBC. The USA women's team faces Norway live Wednesday at 7:30 a.m. ET and the USA men take on Japan live Thursday at 4:55 a.m. ET.

NBC OLYMPICS OPENING CEREMONY FACTS & FIGURES:

Bob Costas (8th Olympics, 7th as Primetime Host)
Matt Lauer (6th Olympics, 1st as Opening Ceremony Co-Host)

REPORTERS: Lester Holt, Richard Engel, Peter Alexander, Andrea Joyce, Bob
Neumeier

EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Dick Ebersol, Chairman, NBC Universal Sports & Olympics
David Neal, Executive Vice President, NBC Olympics

DIRECTOR: Bucky Gunts, Head of Production, NBC Olympics

PARADE OF NATIONS: The 205 nations will enter the Olympic Stadium in order of their Chinese names, with two exceptions. As per tradition, Greece marches first and China, as the host nation, marches last. The USA will march 140th. Note: Because Chinese characters cannot be placed in alphabetical order, the list is made using the number of strokes per first character in the Chinese name of the country. If the first character is the same, the number of strokes in the second character is used. If different characters have the same number of strokes, a hierarchy of characters is followed to determine the order.

THE BIRD'S NEST: One of the iconic structures of the Beijing Games, the Bird's Nest, as the National Stadium is known, can hold 91,000 spectators. The Stadium lies on the traditional north-south axis of the city, directly north from the Forbidden City and the Temple of Heaven. The exterior of the stadium consists of twisted steel beams that are designed to resemble the twigs of a nest, hence the venue's nickname. The project required over 90 million pounds of steel or enough to stretch 79 miles.

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OLYMPICS OPENING CEREMONY TO AIR AT NEW, EARLY START TIME 7:30 PM ET/PT, FRIDAY ON NBC

BEIJING – August 4, 2007 – The Opening Ceremony for the Beijing Olympic Games this Friday will now air at a special early start time, 7:30 p.m. ET/PT. The announcement of the new start time was made today by David Neal, Executive Producer, NBC Sports.

"After seeing two dress rehearsals in the last week, it's clear that this Opening Ceremony is simply spectacular and we're thrilled to be able to add an extra half hour to begin Friday at a special early start time," Neal said. "Zhang Yimou and his creative team have conceived a program that will captivate viewers in the U.S. and around the world."

Chinese filmmaker Zhang Yimou is the chief director of both the Opening and Closing Ceremonies. He is best known internationally for the films 'Raise the Red Lantern' (1991) and 'House of Flying Daggers' (2004).

The Opening Ceremony will officially begin the Beijing Olympic Games but Olympic competition actually begins with live opening round soccer matches on MSNBC. The USA women's team faces Norway live Wednesday at 7:30 a.m. ET and the USA men take on Japan live Thursday at 4:30 a.m. ET.

NBC Universal, broadcasting its record 11th Olympics and surpassing ABC for the most Olympics broadcast by any network, will present an unprecedented 3,600 hours of Beijing Olympic Games coverage, the most ambitious single media project in history featuring the most live coverage (nearly 2,900 live hours in total), across the most platforms, of any Summer Olympics in history.

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CBS TO SPONSOR ITS FOURTH MULTICULTURAL SKETCH COMEDY TALENT SHOWCASE TO BE DIRECTED BY RICK NAJERA, IN ASSOCIATION WITH AFTRA, AMERICAN INDIANS IN FILM AND TELEVISION, EAST WEST PLAYERS, NOSOTROS, SAG AND THE ROBEY THEATRE COMPANY

New York, N.Y.  July 31st, 2008.            CBS will sponsor its fourth talent showcase for multicultural sketch comedians in January 2009 in Los Angeles.  Executive producer, writer and Vice President of the LATV Network, Rick Najera ("Mad TV," "In Living Color"), will again direct the showcase for CBS.   

"Rick has brought showmanship and rare comedic talent to this initiative.  He is an inspiration to these emerging actors and we are excited to bring him back," said Josie Thomas, CBS Senior Vice President, Diversity. 

Photos and resumes should be sent to AFTRA, 5757 Wilshire Blvd., 9th floor, Los Angeles, Calif. 90036 - Att: Jasmine Vargas.  The deadline for submissions is Aug. 15.  Please note:  the showcase is focused on African American, Latino, Asian American, Native American and Pacific Islander actors, and performers with disabilities, who should possess extensive sketch comedy experience.  Each audition will require a one-minute original sketch comedy monologue.

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NBC NEWS WILL PRESENT MORE THAN 200 HOURS OF COVERAGE FROM THE DEMOCRATIC AND REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTIONS  

NEW YORK, N.Y. – July 31, 2008 – The networks of NBC News – NBC, MSNBC, CNBC, Telemundo, MSNBC.com and NBC Mobile – will present more than 200 total hours of live coverage of the Democratic National Convention, Aug. 25-28, and the Republican National Convention, Sept. 1-4. “NBC Nightly News” anchor Brian Williams leads the network’s four nights of coverage from each convention, while MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews anchor coverage on cable. Tom Brokaw, who has covered every presidential election since 1968, will contribute unparalleled reporting and analysis on both the NBC network and on MSNBC throughout both conventions.

Luke Russert joins NBC News in his first assignment for Decision 2008 as correspondent at large for the conventions, focusing on youth issues. Luke Russert recently graduated from Boston College with a double major in History and Communications. Since March of 2006, he has co-hosted the critically acclaimed sports radio talk show "60/20 Sports" with political pundit James Carville on XM Satellite Radio. On "60/20 Sports" he has interviewed the likes of former President Clinton, former President George Bush, Bill Russell, Cal Ripken Jr. and Lance Armstrong. Luke is the son of the late Tim Russert and of Vanity Fair writer Maureen Orth.

"These are the stories that we live for at NBC News. Across all our platforms, we are offering an unprecedented amount of convention coverage, and we stand ready to field an incredibly talented, and deeply knowledgeable team," said NBC News President Steve Capus. "We will be on the air, on cable, online, on cell phones, on the radio -- wherever, and whenever you want us. Reporting the stories will be the best team in the business, and we welcome Luke Russert to that group. Never before in an election cycle has so much attention turned to the youth vote, and Luke will bring a unique perspective to covering it."

"I am extremely humbled and grateful that NBC News is giving me this opportunity,” said Luke Russert. “I believe youth issues will continue to play a significant role during this election and I want to do my part to report them honestly and objectively."

NBC NEWS
“NBC Nightly News” anchor and managing editor Brian Williams will anchor NBC’s coverage of the Democratic National Convention, live from the Pepsi Center and from INVESCO Field in Denver, Colo., Monday, Aug. 25-Thursday, Aug. 28, 10-11 p.m. ET and live from the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minn., Monday, Sept. 1-Thursday, Sept. 4, 10-11 p.m.

Williams will anchor “NBC Nightly News” live from Denver and St. Paul Sunday through Thursday of each convention week. Lester Holt will join Williams on Sunday, August 24 from Beijing and Sunday, August 31 from New York as anchor of special split editions of “NBC Nightly News.” The broadcast will include in-depth reports on the issues, delegates, candidates and other convention related stories from Williams and the NBC News political team.

"Meet the Press," moderated by Tom Brokaw, will originate from the convention centers in Denver on Sunday, Aug. 24 and in St. Paul on Sunday, Aug. 31.

For the Democratic National Convention, Matt Lauer will co-anchor a split edition of "Today" from Denver Thursday and Friday, August 28 and 29 while Meredith Vieira co-anchors from New York. For the Republican National Convention, Meredith Vieira will co-anchor a split edition of "Today" from the Xcel Center in St. Paul Thursday and Friday, September 4 and 5 from while Matt Lauer co-anchors from New York. Ann Curry will be broadcasting from both conventions.

Curry will also serve as a podium correspondent from both conventions for NBC and MSNBC, with Andrea Mitchell and David Gregory reporting from the floor. Ron Allen will report from the convention floor in Denver, and Lee Cowan will be with the Obama campaign; Kelly O’Donnell will report from the McCain campaign and from the convention floor in St. Paul, along with Savannah Guthrie; John Yang will cover President Bush in St. Paul. Mike Taibbi and Tom Costello will report live from locations around Denver and St. Paul throughout the conventions. NBC News Political Director Chuck Todd will provide analysis for NBC News and MSNBC.

MSNBC
MSNBC will be live 20 hours a day with complete coverage of both the Democratic and Republican conventions, beginning at 6 a.m. ET with “Morning Joe” from both Denver and St. Paul. Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews anchor MSNBC primetime coverage beginning at 7 p.m. ET, with coverage continuing until 2 a.m. ET. MSNBC will telecast live from dynamic outdoor sets in both convention cities, outside Union Station in Denver and from Rice Park in St. Paul, with fans, visitors and supporters of all candidates encouraged to visit the set.

“Morning Joe” will telecast live from Sam’s No. 3 Grill & Bar in Denver, and from Keys St. Café in St. Paul, 6 a.m.-11a.m. ET. MSNBC will continue live coverage throughout the day during the conventions, with anchors including Brian Williams, Tom Brokaw, Andrea Mitchell, Chuck Todd, Dan Abrams and Norah O’Donnell, all live from the convention cities.

MSNBC’s evening coverage begins with “Hardball with Chris Matthews” at 5 p.m. ET, followed by “Race for the White House with David Gregory” at 6 p.m. ET, both live on-site in Denver and St. Paul. Gregory will also report live from the convention floor in Denver and St. Paul for both MSNBC and NBC News. MSNBC begins live convention coverage, anchored by Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews, at 7 p.m. ET. MSNBC’s coverage will continue live until 2 a.m. ET. Norah O’Donnell leads MSNBC’s panel, including MSNBC political analysts Rachel Maddow, Pat Buchanan, Mike Murphy and Harold Ford Jr. and Eugene Robinson of the Washington Post.

CNBC
CNBC's Chief Washington Correspondent John Harwood will be on-hand at both conventions to provide political and economic analysis throughout the day on CNBC – from the network's signature morning program "Squawk Box" (6-9 a.m. ET) to Kudlow & Company (7-8 p.m. ET).

MSNBC.COM
Msnbc.com will offer extensive gavel-to-gavel coverage from both the Democratic and Republican Conventions. According to a Pew Research Center study, more consumers stated that they got their political news from msnbc.com than any other online site, making msnbc.com THE leader in online political news. Msnbc.com will feature live video streaming from both conventions, exclusive multimedia features, and comprehensive coverage, including special reports from the convention floor and from events around both host cities.

The coverage will be anchored by NBC News’ political team, led by Political Director Chuck Todd, whose reports, analysis and interviews will be updated constantly on First Read, the must-read blog delivering the best insight on the day’s political news. The site will feature coverage from National Journal, The New York Times, Newsweek and The Washington Post and other leading partners.

Politics.msnbc.com will feature reporting from citizen journalists at both conventions. Newsvine.com, a wholly-owned subsidiary of msnbc.com, will send six citizen contributors to the Democratic National Convention and the Republican National Convention. Three citizen journalists will attend and cover each convention and the surrounding events. The original articles produced by Newsvine contributors will be available on both on msnbc.com and Newsvine.com.

TELEMUNDO
As part of Telemundo's commitment to the U.S. Hispanic community, the network will cover both the Democratic and Republican conventions. Telemundo News Anchor Pedro Sevcec of “Noticiero Telemundo” (6:30pm/5:30 C), will be reporting live from the conventions on all four nights. The network’s Washington DC news correspondent, Lori Montenegro, will be covering the Democratic convention while Los Angeles-based correspondent, Carlos Botifol, will be at the Republican convention. Sevcec and each of the Telemundo news correspondents will blog their experiences on www.yahootelemundo.com.

NBC MOBILE/RADIO
NBC News 2 GO available to MediaFLO/Verizon Wireless customers, will carry MSNBC’s live coverage throughout the day and through primetime. NBC Mobile will be clipping and refreshing content with MSNBC coverage throughout the evening. NBC News Radio will also simulcast MSNBC’s live coverage during both conventions.

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REGIS PHILBIN AND KELLY RIPA GUEST STAR AS THEMSELVES IN THE SEASON PREMIERE OF "UGLY BETTY"

New York, N.Y.,   August 04, 2008.          Emmy-winning daytime television mavens Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa will guest star as themselves on ABC's "Ugly Betty" in the show's season premiere, airing September 25. In the episode, magazine editors Wilhelmina Slater (Vanessa Williams) and Alexis Meade (Rebecca Romijn) appear on "Live with Regis and Kelly" to promote the new issue of Mode magazine. With Wilhelmina at the helm for the first time since taking over from Alexis' brother, Daniel, the two hosts can't help but put Alexis on the hot seat.

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CBS NEWS' BOB SCHIEFFER TO MODERATE FINAL PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE ON OCT. 15, 2008

New York, N.Y.,  August 5th, 2008.          Bob Schieffer, CBS News Chief Washington Correspondent and anchor of FACE THE NATION, will moderate the third and final presidential debate between Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.). The announcement was made today by the Commission on Presidential Debates. 

Hosted by Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y., the 90-minute debate will take place at 9:00 PM, ET, on Wednesday, Oct. 15. The candidates will join Schieffer at a table for an eight-segment debate. Each segment will be 10 minutes in length and, after each candidate has addressed the issue, Schieffer will facilitate further conversation between the two senators. The debate will close with each candidate's final remarks.

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ACTOR MICHAEL GROSS ("FAMILY TIES") TO JOIN CBS's "THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS" BEGINNING FRIDAY, AUG. 15

New York,  N.Y.  August 4th, 2008.          Actor Michael Gross ("Family Ties") joins the Number One daytime drama, THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, Friday, Aug. 15, on the CBS Television Network.

Gross will play Lowell Baldwin, now known as River, the long-lost father of Michael Baldwin (Christian LeBlanc).  River shows up in an unexpected place in a very unusual role.

Best known for his role as Steven Keaton on the Emmy and Golden Globe nominated sitcom "Family Ties," Gross has appeared in such television shows as "ER," "Law & Order," "Law & Order: Criminal Intent," "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," "Boston Legal" and "Medium," as well as "CSI: New York" and "How I Met Your Mother," on the Network.  His numerous television movie appearances include "The FBI Murders," "Right To Die," "F.D.R.: The Last Year," "Manhunt in the Dakotas," "Little Gloria...Happy at Last" and "Mrs. Harris."  Gross has appeared in the films "Just Tell Me What You Want," "Big Business" and "Alan and Naomi." In addition, "Tremors," its many sequels, and its Sci-Fi Channel series has earned him cult status among sci-fi and horror movie buffs.

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DANNY TREJO ("SPY KIDS," "FROM DUSK 'TIL DAWN") MAKES HIS DAYTIME DEBUT ON CBS's "THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS" BEGINNING TUESDAY, AUG. 11

New York, N.Y.,  August 4th, 2008.          Danny Trejo ("Spy Kids," "From Dusk 'Til Dawn") makes his daytime debut on the Number One daytime drama, THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, Tuesday, August 11, on the CBS Television Network.  Trejo plays a bartender who encounters mogul Victor Newman (Eric Braeden) in Mexico while Newman is recovering from a shocking event.

Despite growing up on the streets of Los Angeles, and spending the latter part of his youth and early adulthood incarcerated, Trejo rose to great accomplishment upon his release from San Quentin. He became involved in programs aimed at helping those who, like him, battle drug and alcohol addictions.  Since becoming involved in acting, he has gone on to star in films such as "Desperado," the "From Dusk 'Til Dawn" series, "Heat," "Con Air," "Spy Kids" and "Once Upon a Time in Mexico".  Trejo also recurs on the television series "King of the Hill," and has appeared in "Monk," "Desperate Housewives" and "Stargate Atlantis".

 

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WINNERS OF “TEEN CHOICE 2008” ANNOUNCED

Los Angeles, Ca., August 4th, 2008.          This year, teens logged on to www.teenchoiceawards.com and cast approximately 32 million votes in support of their favorite celebrities in film, television, music, sports and fashion.

TEEN CHOICE 2008 winners include:

MOVIES

Choice Movie: Action/Adventure

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

 

Choice Movie: Drama

Step Up 2: The Streets

 

Choice Movie: Chick Flick

27 Dresses

 

Choice Movie: Bromantic Comedy

What Happens in Vegas

 

Choice Movie: Comedy

Juno

 

Choice Movie: Horror/Thriller

I Am Legend

 

Choice Summer Movie: Action/Adventure

Hancock

 

Choice Summer Movie: Comedy

Get Smart

 

Choice Movie Actor: Drama

Channing Tatum - Stop-Loss

 

Choice Movie Actress: Drama

Keira Knightley - Atonement

 

Choice Movie Actress: Action/Adventure

Rachel Bilson - Jumper

 

Choice Movie Actor: Comedy

Ashton Kutcher - What Happens in Vegas

 

Choice Movie Actress: Comedy

Ellen Page - Juno

 

Choice Movie Actor: Horror/Thriller

Will Smith - I Am Legend

 

Choice Movie Actress: Horror/Thriller

Jessica Alba - The Eye

 

Choice Movie: Villain

Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd

 

Choice Movie: Breakout Female 

Ellen Page - Juno

 

Choice Movie: Breakout Male

Drake Bell - Superhero Movie

 

TELEVISION

Choice TV Show: Drama

Gossip Girl

 

Choice TV Show: Action Adventure

Heroes

 

Choice TV Show: Comedy 

Hannah Montana

 

Choice TV: Reality Dance

America's Best Dance Crew

 

Choice TV: Reality Music Competition

American Idol

 

Choice TV: Celebrity Reality

The Hills

 

Choice Summer TV Show

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

 

Choice TV Actor: Drama

Chad Michael Murray - One Tree Hill

 

Choice TV Actress: Drama

Blake Lively - Gossip Girl

 

Choice TV Actress: Action/Adventure

Hayden Panettiere - Heroes

 

Choice TV Actor: Comedy

Steve Carell - The Office

 

Choice TV Actress: Comedy

Miley Cyrus - Hannah Montana

 

Choice TV: Breakout Show

Gossip Girl

 

Choice TV:  Breakout Star Female

Blake Lively - Gossip Girl

 

Choice TV:  Breakout Star Male

Chace Crawford - Gossip Girl

 

Choice TV:  Male Reality/Variety Star

David Cook - American Idol

 

Choice TV: Female Reality/Variety Star

Lauren Conrad - The Hills

 

Choice TV:  Villain

Ed Westwick- Gossip Girl

 

MUSIC

Choice Music: Single

Jonas Brothers - When You Look Me In The Eyes

 

Choice Hook-Up

Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown - No Air

 

Choice Music: Male Artist

Chris Brown

 

Choice Music: Female Artist

Miley Cyrus

 

Choice Music: R&B Artist

Chris Brown

 

Choice Music: Breakout Group

Jonas Brothers

 

Choice Music: Love Song

When You Look Me In The Eyes - Jonas Brothers

 

Choice Music: R&B Track

Forever - Chris Brown

 

Choice Music: Rap/Hip-Hop Track

Shawty Get Loose - Lil Mama featuring Chris Brown and T-Pain

 

Choice Summer Song

Burnin' Up - Jonas Brothers

 

FASHION

Choice Male Hottie

Jonas Brothers

 

Choice Female Hottie

Vanessa Hudgens

 

Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon Female

Carrie Underwood

 

Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon Male

Jonas Brothers

 

COMEDY

Choice Comedian

Adam Sandler

 

SPORTS

Choice Male Athlete

David Beckham - Soccer

 

Choice Female Athlete

Shawn Johnson - Gymnastics

 

Choice Action Sports Male 

Ryan Sheckler – Skateboarding

 

SPECIAL AWARDS

Do Something

Chad Bullock (Anti-Tobacco Activist)

 

Choice Most Fanatic Fans

David Archuleta

 

Choice MySpacer

Ryan Sheckler                 http://www.myspace.com/ryan_sheckler_dot_com   

 

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UPCOMING GUESTS ON THE "LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN"

Thursday, Aug. 7                              Actor Kiefer Sutherland; actress Rumer Willis; musical guest Phil Vassar  

Friday, Aug. 8                                      Real estate mogul Donald Trump; comedian Dwayne Kennedy

Monday, Aug. 11                                 Actor Will Smith; sportscaster Joe Buck

Tuesday, Aug. 12                                 Actress Maggie Gyllenhaal; musician Neil Young; musical guests The Hold Steady

Wednesday, Aug. 13                            Actress Charlize Theron; actor Richard Belzer; musical guests Motley Crue

Thursday, Aug. 14                                Actress Meryl Streep; actor Aaron Eckhart; musical guest Randy Travis

Friday, Aug. 15                                    Actor Sir Ben Kingsley; comedian Artie Lange; musical guest Emmylou Harris

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UPCOMING GUESTS ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW with CRAIG FERGUSON"

Thursday, August 7              Actor Jack Black; music by Conor Oberst

Friday, August 8                       Talk and performance with Toby Keith

Monday, August 11                  Actor Robert Downey Jr.; actress Amy Smart

Tuesday, August 12             Actor Kiefer Sutherland; actress Kate Mara

Wednesday, August 13             Actor and comedian Craig Robinson; music by Ron Irizarry

Thursday, August 14            Actor Sir Ben Kingsley; talk and performance with Idina Menzel

Friday, August 15                 Actress Radha Mitchell; actor Colin Hanks

Monday, August 18             Actor Chris O'Donnell; actor Larry Block; music by Phantom Planet  

Tuesday, August 19             Actress Jamie Denbo; actor Alfred Molina; author Salman Rushdie

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OPENING REMARKS FROM THE "LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN"

"I mean, come on, what a beautiful day.  Isn't it a lovely, beautiful, great summer day.  It was so warm today that Shia LeBeouf crashed an ice cream truck." 

"Maybe you didn't hear about this:  actor, kid - been on the program, as a matter of fact - Shia LeBoeuf crashed his pickup truck into another car and then it flipped over, or, as Andy Dick calls it, parking."

"You know what UPS is, UPS, United Parcel Service?  Well, there's a guy in Illinois who was a UPS driver and he passed away.  And he said in his will he wanted to be taken to the cemetery in the UPS truck.  Yeah, and he's scheduled to arrive in four to six business days.  I just hope there's somebody there to sign for him."

"Okay, now we're getting closer and closer to the conventions.  If you had to vote tomorrow, would it be John McCain, if you had to vote tomorrow, John McCain?  How about Barack Obama, would it be Barack Obama?  Well, you know, Barack Obama the last 10 days was traveling overseas campaigning in Europe and everywhere, and  it was so successful campaigning abroad that he's actually thinking about campaigning in the United States."

"But listen to this:  while Barack Obama was campaigning in Germany, he spoke to a half-million people, a half-million people.  And while he was doing that, John McCain, he wasn't laying around.  No, no, John McCain was out driving in his driveway and he backed over the mailbox."

"But there was this one little episode while Barack Obama was overseas:  he was in Jerusalem and he was heckled.  And he's not used to being heckled because everybody, you know, likes the guy wherever he goes, so nobody heckles him.  And this woman was just furious and nasty and heckling him and heckling him and heckling him, and finally he said, 'All right, Hillary, knock it off.'"

"Are you excited about the Presidential campaign?  That's where the excitement is, right?  There's a new campaign ad, kind of an attack ad, kind of a smear ad from John McCain.  Have you heard about this?  Well, in it, he compares Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.  And so now, reporters were trying to contact McCain to get his response to this criticism, and they couldn't get a hold of him.  He was busy having his dinner on a TV tray watching 'Jeopardy.'"

"Boy, it's hot outside today, isn't it?  Isn't it hot?  To give you an idea how hot it is outside today, you know that crooked NBA ref?  So hot today that he was glad he was going to the cooler."

"So hot in New York City today that Jamba Juice is $140 a barrel."

"You people should feel great about coming to New York City.  We've got a lot of folks from out of town here?  I'll tell you why:  New York City is America's number one tourist destination.  America's number one tourist destination - how about that?  And I'll tell you why:  it's because of our pristine beaches and friendly natives."

"But the great thing about New York City is there's stuff to do for everybody, for absolutely everybody.  For example, kids - bring the kids to New York City.  And you know what they love to do?  They love to run through the maze in Donald Trump's hair."

"A lot of stuff to see in New York City - antiquities - do you like antiquities?  Oh, this is - well, the Museum of Natural History, they have the dinosaurs.  Go to the Metropolitan Museum, they have the mummies.  We also have Regis."

"You folks ready for the Olympics?  Do you have Olympic fever, I guess is what I'm trying to say?  Coming up soon - everybody in the Olympics is worried about the air quality in China.  Worried about the air quality in China, a lot of smog, and I have friends over there who tell me that the air in China looks like the inside of Willie Nelson's tour bus."

"Here is how I feel about the Olympics, and maybe you feel this way, maybe you don't, doesn't make any difference - this is America.  Here is how I feel about the Olympics:  I don't care who wins, I don't care who lose.  I am just glad to see McDonald's and Nike make a little money on this deal."

"President Bush will be in China for the Olympics.  He's going to be there for the opening ceremonies, and also, while he's there, he will be searching for lo mein of mass destruction."

"But I think the U.S. is going to do well, particularly in swimming.  I think we have a very strong swimming team this year for the Olympics.  Yeah, that's right.  Dick Cheney, in particular, looks great in the freestyle water boarding."

"Ladies and gentlemen, if it seems as though I'm walking on a cloud, I want to tell you, something backstage very special happened a minute ago.  I'm going to be Pamela Anderson husband number four."

"Pamela Anderson is on the program tonight, ladies and gentlemen, and she, of course, is the reason they invented hi-def."

"Hey, how about this?  Maybe some folks from California?  They had an earthquake out there in southern California yesterday, a big one, yeah - 5.4 on the Richter scale.  And Pam Anderson, coincidentally, was in California during the earthquake, and today she had to go in for a seismic retrofitting."

"The earthquake was so violent, my mom, my mom called 'The Tonight Show' to see if I was okay."

"The earthquake in California was so violent, listen to this:  Andy Dick was thrown to his feet."

"But I want to tell you, you can't go anywhere these days.  Have you noticed that, you just can't go anywhere?  No, you can't go anywhere.  Listen to this:  on Sunday, we had a big storm blow through the metro area, and passengers on the Delta Airlines flight stuck at JFK inside the plane - seven hours.  Yeah, seven hours - and out of habit, jetBlue apologized."

"Passengers are going absolutely crazy, stuck there for seven hours, nothing to eat.  They complained that it was hot, it was sweaty, people were rude, all they were offered was warm Sprite - I mean, honest to God, it sounded like a party at Regis' house."

"Now, be honest, tell me the truth:  how many of you folks are just here tonight because you're waiting for American Airlines to find your luggage."

"And by the way, here is the guarantee:  if American Airlines loses your luggage, don't worry about it, you can always buy it back on EBay."

"Here's a great story:  over in New Jersey, they spotted a 44-pound cat.  Did you hear about this?  Honest to God, a 44-pound cat, and it had a ball of tin foil, a ball of tin foil - weighed 15 pounds.  The cat is so big that he puts you out at night."

"But the real excitement here in New York City - the 44-pound kitty.  They found over there in New Jersey a 44-pound cat walking around, and everybody has fallen in love with the 44-pound kitty.  And I'm thinking, 'What's the big deal?  Here in the city, I mean, honest to God, we have rats bigger than that, you know?'"

"But you're thinking, 'Oh, what a cute story, a 44-pound cat,' and honestly, is there anything cuter than that?  Well, no, but like so many things in life, there's already been trouble with the 44-pound kitty.  Earlier today, it tried to mate with that thing on Donald Trump's head."

"Isn't it great to be in New York City in the summertime, am I right?  Because it's festive - everybody in New York City is festive.  As a matter of fact, earlier today, the Statue of Liberty - holding a Jamba Juice."

"By the way, a lot of folks from out of town, and I'm happy you're here because this is great because now in Central Park - free balloon rides.  Well, I don't know if they're free.  Balloon rides are in Central Park, available until August 22.  Go up there for the balloon ride until August 22, or until the balloon is stolen."

"But it's the real deal, don't kid yourself.  The balloon is 45 feet and it's filled with 4,500 cubic feet of gas, and it's - no, that's Rush Limbaugh."

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QUOTABLES FROM NBC'S 'LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN'

JULY 28 – AUGUST 1, 2008

"Barack Obama is upset because the other day in Israel, someone revealed the contents of a private prayer Obama inserted into Jerusalem's Western Wall. Experts say it's even worse than the time The Washington Post printed President Bush's letter to Santa."

"Yesterday, Barack Obama visited a doctor and he received treatment for a sore hip. After hearing about it, John McCain said, 'If he wants it replaced, I know just the guy.'"

"During a recent concert, British pop star George Michael said that Barack Obama should pick Hillary Clinton as his vice president. George Michael says he's been a huge Hillary fan - ever since she started copying his 'Wham!' haircut."

"Over the weekend, actor Shia Labeouf was arrested for drunk driving. Afterwards, he told the cops, 'You'd drink too if your name was Shia Labeouf.'"

"The former mayor of Newark, New Jersey was found guilty of corruption charges and he is going to receive his sentence tomorrow. Prosecutors say that the mayor could get 10 years in prison or 20 years in Newark."

"In a recent interview, Donald Trump admitted he uses hairspray to achieve his trademark hairstyle. Trump says in addition to hairspray, he also uses an egg beater, an angry ferret, and 3 blasts of air from a jet engine."

"In California, police pulled over Paris Hilton's car after she was spotted weaving through traffic. Police gave Paris a warning and she gave them herpes."

"The other day in California, police found 3 naked men in a hotel room - who said they had been lured there by 3 women, convinced to undress, and then robbed. Either that or police found 3 gay guys who know how to think on their feet."

"It looks like everybody's fine, but today, an earthquake registering 5.8 struck Los Angeles causing moderate damage. Officials say the earthquake lasted a few seconds but Kirstie Alley will continue jiggling for the rest of the week."

"Last night, John McCain appeared on 'Larry King Live.' The show consisted of a 5-minute interview and a 55-minute 'pee break.'"

"Barack Obama announced that next month he wants to spend a week on vacation in Hawaii. After hearing about it, President Bush said, 'I can't believe he's taking another trip to a foreign country.'"

"Hillary Clinton is trying to retire her campaign debt so she's giving everyone who donates money a chance to have dinner with her. No word yet on what the winner gets."

"In St. Louis, a church group is holding prayer services at gas stations asking God to lower fuel prices. If it works, the church will hold a prayer service at Starbucks."

"The other day in London, a man protesting global warming tried to super glue himself to Britain's Prime Minister. Police say they've had their eye on the man ever since he scotch-taped himself to the Chancellor of Germany."

"Over the weekend, a woman in Canada gave birth to her 18th child. So, it's your move, Angelina Jolie."

"Earlier this week, thousands of athletes from around the world took part in the gay Olympics. These Olympics are the world's biggest gay competitive event if you don't count the Tony Awards."

"The Hooters restaurant chain announced that it is closing its branch in Beaverton, Oregon. However, the Hooters will remain open in nearby Vaginaville."

"Yesterday, a moderate earthquake hit California. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was giving a speech at the time and the shaking was so great that you could actually understand what he was saying."

"Time Magazine says that many top Republicans are worried that lately John McCain has been taking too negative a tone. When he heard this McCain said, 'Shut your pie hole.'"

"Barack Obama says that next month he's planning to spend a week on vacation in Hawaii. When he heard this, President Bush said: 'Pace yourself, 'cause once you become President, the vacations start coming fast and furious.'"

"A comic book publisher says he's trying to increase voter turnout in the Presidential election by publishing comic books about John McCain and Barack Obama. The publisher said that the election comic books are targeted at first-time voters and long-time virgins."

"Dunkin' Donuts announced they are going to start offering their customers healthier choices. So, from now on when customers enter Dunkin' Donuts employees will tell them where other restaurants are located."

"In preparation for the Olympics, Chinese officials have set up a 'sex determination lab' to ensure that no male athletes are competing as females. It sounds high-tech, but 'sex determination lab' is really just a fancy name for 'penis checkin' tent.'"

"Early this morning, flight attendants on Delta Airlines found a dead person in one of the plane's bathrooms. Delta employees put the guy in a body bag and then charged him for an extra piece of luggage."

"In a speech yesterday, Barack Obama said he's distantly related to the famous 19th century gunslinger Wild Bill Hickok. After hearing this, John McCain said, 'Big deal, I went to high school with him.'"

"Officials at the Beijing Olympics have begun evaluating athletes to determine their gender. Trust me folks, there's nothing worse than hearing, 'I guess that's technically a penis.'"

"In other Olympic news, China is upset because somebody leaked a video of the rehearsal for the Olympics Opening Ceremony on the Internet. I don't want to give away too much, but it ends with the lighting of a torch."

"He's fine now, but the other day 'American Idol' host Ryan Seacrest was swimming in the ocean and he was attacked by a shark. Marine biologists say the attack occurred because Seacrest was too far from shore and the shark knew who he was."

"Britney Spears is being criticized because she was photographed smoking in front of her 2-year-old while he played with her cigarette pack and lighter. Britney defended herself by saying, 'Those weren't my cigarettes, they were his.'"

"Speaking of Britney, her 17 year-old sister Jamie Lynn Spears says she's planning on marrying the father of her baby by the end of the year. If you want to get them a wedding gift Jamie Lynn is registered in Wal-Mart's Back to School section."

"Keira Knightly is fighting with a movie studio because they want to airbrush the poster for her new movie to make her breasts look bigger. In the studio's defense, the poster does say: 'This fall… Keira Knightley is Officer Big Boobs.'"

"In a recent interview, Justin Timberlake says he's tired of Ashton Kutcher taking credit for making trucker hats popular – because Timberlake insists he started the trend. The interview will appear in next month's issue of Lame Feud magazine."

"Time magazine says the fastest growing field of pornography in Japan is senior citizen porn. Apparently, in senior citizen porn, a happy ending is when nobody has a heart attack."

"More bad news for air travelers. Earlier today, US Airways began charging passengers on its flights for water. Even worse, the oxygen masks are now coin-operated."

"Yesterday, Bill Clinton told a group of supporters that his wife Hillary is the person he most wants to spend time with. Apparently Clinton likes to start off every speech with a joke."

"This week in Atlantic City, New Jersey, security guards kicked a 440-pound man out of a casino. The security guards started kicking the 440-pound man out on Monday and finished on Thursday."

"A new gel is being developed that will quadruple the duration of the average female orgasm from 30 seconds to 2 minutes. The gel will also quadruple the duration of the male orgasm from 1 second to 4."

"The government of China announced that during the Olympics it will ban restaurants from serving dog meat. Which brings new meaning to the phrase, 'Hello, Kitty.'"

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From the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska... THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Things Overheard at Barack Obama's Birthday Party "

As presented Monday, Aug. 4 on the LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN.

10.       "Where is Britney?"

9.         "Hillary, get me another drink."

8.         "Brett Favre hasn't decided if he's coming or not."

7.         "John McCain has demanded we start drilling for oil in the punch bowl."

6.         "Is Senator Craig still in the men's room?"

5.         "Where's Paris?"

4.         "This is the Barackiest birthday party I've ever been to."

3.         No number 3 - writer watching swimming doggies.

2.         "Mr. Gore, please put your shirt on." 

1.         "Spitzer's here and he brought whores!"

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From the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska... THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "New Words"

As presented Friday, Aug. 1 on the LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN

10.       McCaincient

9.         Winehoused

8.         iPants

7.         Osama Mia!

6.         Craptastic

5.         Andydickulous

4.         Spitzwhore

3.         Trebekkie

2.         Lindsay Lo-hesbian

1.         Presidork

 

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From the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska... THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Jerry Lewis Excuses"

As presented Wednesday, July 30 on the LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN

10.       "Rehearsing for my new film ‘The Nutty Terrorist.'"

9.         "I haven't been myself since Lindsay Lohan went lesbian."

8.         "I'm Batman."

7.         "No shampoo on planes I understand, but guns?  What is this, Damascus?"

6.         "Was whacked out on some stuff I got from Amy Winehouse."

5.         "Confused myself with Jerry Lee Lewis."

4.         "How else do I open those airline peanuts?"  Still a reference, people.

3.         "I was told this was a roast!"

2.         "Just found out I'd been seated next to Andy Dick."

1.         "Sorry, I thought I put the gun in my schlamaaaaaaven." 

 

 

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