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Headlines & Links For Thursday, August 20th, 2009.

America's Next Top Model

The Big Bang Theory

“AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL” MAKES HISTORY BY FEATURING WOMEN 5’7” AND UNDER DURING CYCLE 13’s TWO-HOUR PREMIERE ON WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9 ON THE CW (Read More)

AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN LEWIS BLACK TO GUEST STAR ON "THE BIG BANG THEORY" (Read More)

ALL ACCESS MELROSE       (Read More)

ABC ANNOUNCES "DANCING WITH THE STARS" SEASON NINE CAST       (Read More)

CBS TO SPONSOR FIFTH MULTICULTURAL SKETCH COMEDY TALENT SHOWCASE       (Read More)

NBC'S NEW A CAPELLA SINGING COMPETITION SERIES 'THE SING-OFF' TRAVELS TO FOUR CITIES IN SEARCH OF THE MOST TALENTED GROUPS IN AMERICA       (Read More)

ABC PRESENTS ITS NEW SERIES AND STARS AT THE D23 EXPO       (Read More)

CBS UNVEILS THE FIRST-EVER USE OF VIDEO IN A PRINT ADVERTISEMENT TO PROMOTE THE NETWORK'S NEW FALL PROGRAMMING AND ITS EXCLUSIVE NEW PARTNER, PEPSICO's PEPSI MAX       (Read More)

NBC UNIVERSAL LAUNCHES FACEBOOK CONNECT ON ITS WEBSITES       (Read More)

"CBS FALL PREVIEW" WILL AIR WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 2, 8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT ON CBS       (Read More)

STEVE HARVEY JOINS GOOD MORNING AMERICA       (Read More)

'TODAY'S' SIX-MONTH OLYMPIC ANNOUNCEMENT       (Read More)

FAMED FASHION EDITOR ANNA WINTOUR AND NEW YORK YANKEES ALL-STAR FIRST BASEMAN MARK TEIXEIRA TO BOTH MAKE THEIR FIRST VISIT TO "LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN," MONDAY, AUG. 24       (Read More)

'THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O'BRIEN' LISTINGS       (Read More)

LISTINGS FOR 'LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON'       (Read More)

UPCOMING GUESTS ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW with CRAIG FERGUSON"       (Read More)

QUOTABLES FROM 'LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON' August 10 – August 14       (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Ways the Country Would Be Different if Britney Spears Were President"       (Read More)

“AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL” MAKES HISTORY BY FEATURING WOMEN 5’7” AND UNDER DURING CYCLE 13’s TWO-HOUR PREMIERE ON WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9 ON THE CW

Los Angeles, Ca., August 12th, 2009.               America's Next Top Model will break the mold for cycle 13 by offering women 5’7” and under (below the industry height standard) the chance to compete. Fourteen hopefuls from across the country are given the chance to prove they have what it takes when the competition kicks off with a two-hour premiere on Wednesday, September 9 (8:00-10:00 p.m. ET), with encore performances on Fridays (9:00-10:00 p.m. ET).

CYCLE 13 PARTICIPANTS:

Name: ASHLEY
Age: 22
Hometown: Chicago, Illinois (currently Brooklyn, New York)
Occupation: Artist
Height: 5’6”

Name: BIANCA
Age: 21
Hometown: Columbia, South Carolina (currently Washington, D.C.)
Occupation: Student
Height: 5’7”

Name: BRITTANY
Age: 21
Hometown: Livermore, California (currently Santa Clara, California)
Occupation: Student
Height: 5’5”

Name: COURTNEY
Age: 22
Hometown: Plantation, Florida (currently Fort Lauderdale, Florida)
Occupation: Cheer Instructor
Height: 5’4”

Name: ERIN
Age: 18
Hometown: Kenosha, Wisconsin (currently Spring Grove, Illinois)
Occupation: Student
Height: 5’6”

Name: JENNIFER
Age: 23
Hometown: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (currently New York, New York)
Occupation: Model
Height: 5’5”

Name: KARA
Age: 19
Hometown: Fort Wayne, Indiana (currently Chicago, Illinois)
Occupation: Student
Height: 5’7”

Name: LAURA
Age: 19
Hometown: Stanford, Kentucky
Occupation: Waitress
Height: 5’6”

Name: LISA
Age: 19
Hometown: Queens, New York
Occupation: Student
Height: 5’5”

Name: LULU
Age: 19
Hometown: Brooklyn, New York
Occupation: Student
Height: 5’7”

Name: NICOLE
Age: 18
Hometown: Louisville, Colorado
Occupation: Student
Height: 5’7”

Name: RACHEL
Age: 18
Hometown: Woodland, California
Occupation: Customer Service
Height: 5’5”

Name: RAE
Age: 21
Hometown: Rochester, Minnesota
Occupation: Homemaker/Mother
Height: 5’6”

Name: SUNDAI
Age: 18
Hometown: Bakersfield, California
Occupation: Student
Height: 5’3”

Banks leads the panel of judges, comprised of leading fashion industry experts. The panel consists of photographer Nigel Barker, runway expert J. Alexander and guest judges, including Lauren Conrad and Kim Kardashian, who closely evaluate the progress of the models to narrow the field each week.

The winner will be managed by Wilhelmina Models, receive a $100,000 contract with cosmetics giant CoverGirl and appear on the cover and in a six-page fashion spread of Seventeen magazine.

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AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN LEWIS BLACK TO GUEST STAR ON "THE BIG BANG THEORY"

Los Angeles, Ca., August 13th, 2009.               Multi-talented stand-up comedian, actor and author Lewis Black will guest star this fall in the second episode of The Big Bang Theory, appearing as a brilliant but troubled professor of entomology who works at Caltech with the guys.

Lewis Black will be playing the role of Professor Crawley, a university entomologist whose life is falling apart - his department's being shut down because of budget cutbacks; his wife left him for someone who studies birds; and he's moving in with his daughter in Oxnard... not Oxnard on the beach, Oxnard by the onion fields. But, none of that is as aggravating as Sheldon (Jim Parsons), who keeps pestering him to settle a bet with Wolowitz (Simon Helberg) about a cricket - hardly a worthy question for a man with a dung beetle named after him.

An award-winning comedian, best-selling author, and popular actor, Black has been lauded with a Grammy Award, an American Comedy Award and an Emmy Award nomination for his stand-up work. He is also a prolific and successful author: Two of his most recent critically acclaimed books were New York Times best sellers. Black also continues to be a popular contributor to "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," and recently appeared in the feature films "Man of the Year," "Unaccompanied Minors," "Accepted" and "Farce of the Penguins."

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ALL ACCESS MELROSE

Los Angeles, Ca., August 13th, 2009.               AT&T and the CW have teamed up to promote the network’s new series Melrose Place, premiering Tuesday September 8th 9/8c. The promotion gives fans the unique opportunity to get details and sneak peaks at some of the complex characters in the drama series. The promotion will be an ongoing campaign that will allow users to get the most up to date information about their favorite characters. The promotion launches with Katie Cassidy discussing her character Ella Sims.

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ABC ANNOUNCES "DANCING WITH THE STARS" SEASON NINE CAST

New York, August 17th, 2009.               An all new cast of celebrities hits the dance floor on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars" with the highly anticipated two-hour season premiere, Mon., Sept.21, 2009 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET) on ABC. With its biggest season yet, "Dancing with the Stars" Season Nine introduces us to 16 new stars, including an Osmond and an Osbourne, two Grammy Award® winning artists, a Cowboy, a model CEO and a former House Majority Leader.

Eight teams will strut their stuff on Monday night, while the other eight teams will show off their moves on Tues. Sept. 22 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET). On a special night and time, two couples will learn their fate and be sent home on Wed. Sept. 23 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET).

Following is the schedule for Season Nine (dates and times subject to change):

"Dancing with the Stars," two-hour performance show, Mondays beginning, Sept. 21 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET) through Nov. 16

"Dancing with the Stars the Results Show," one-hour, Tuesdays beginning, Sept. 29 (9:00 -10:00 p.m., ET) through Nov. 17

"Dancing with the Stars," 90-minute performance show, Mon., Nov. 23 (8:30-10:00 p.m., ET)

Season Finale, two-hours, Tues., Nov. 24 (9:00-11:00 p.m., ET)

"Dancing with the Stars" returns with new surprises and all the elements viewers have come to know and love, including the Pro Dancer Competition, where world class professional dancers have the opportunity to compete live on the "Results Show" for a guaranteed spot on next season's show. "Macy's Stars of Dance," which features some of the most renowned dancers and choreographers of our time, will also be back on "Dancing with the Stars the Results Show." One of the Macy's Stars of Dance performances will be the hugely popular "Design-a-Dance," where fans have the chance to select their favorite professional dancers, dance styles and wardrobe at www.abc.com. In addition, couples will once again take part in a team formation dance, and a variety of new elements will be incorporated into routines involving all couples. Four new dance styles -- the Bolero, the Charleston, the Two Step and the Lambada -- are also going to be introduced. The middle stages of the competition feature the return of the "Dance Off," where contestants will perform a dance style of their choosing to fight for their spot in the competition, and three consecutive double eliminations promise the most dramatic period of "Dancing with the Stars."

As announced this morning on "Good Morning America," the 16 stars making their ballroom dancing debut are:

AARON CARTER -- Triple platinum selling music artist/songwriter, producer, actor and younger brother of Backstreet Boys singer Nick Carter, Aaron Carter has established himself worldwide as a pop and teen sensation. Beginning his career at the age of eight, he is currently the youngest solo artist to have four Top 40 singles. He has released four studio albums since 1997, two of which have been certified platinum, and has appeared on several television series, including "Lizzie McGuire" and "7th Heaven," as well as making his Broadway debut playing JoJo the Who in "Seussical the Musical" in 2001. He sang vocals on soundtracks for Disneymania ("The Lion King"), "Ella Enchanted," "Pokemon" and "Rugrats the Movie." In 2006 Carter starred in the E! reality show, "House of Carters," which featured all five of the Carter siblings living in the same house.

NATALIE COUGHLIN -- Olympic swimming gold medalist Natalie Coughlin is the most decorated female athlete of both the 2008 Beijing and 2004 Athens Games. Coughlin has won a medal in every single Olympic event that she has ever entered, for a total of 11 Olympic medals. In 2008 she became the first American female athlete to win six medals in one Olympiad, in addition to becoming the first woman to win consecutive individual Olympic gold medals in the 100m backstroke. She is also the most decorated female swimmer in World Championship history, with 16 medals. Born and raised in northern California, Coughlin attended the University of California, Berkeley, where she earned a BA in psychology in 2005.

MARK DACASCOS -- Famously known as "The Chairman" and host of Food Network's "Iron Chef America," Mark Dacascos is also a trained martial artist and an actor. Born in Honolulu, Hawaii, his passion for martial arts began at an early age under the tutelage of his parents, who are both former national champions and teachers. After being discovered in San Francisco's Chinatown, Dacascos began to establish a film and television career playing not only martial artists but a wide arrangement of other characters before joining "Iron Chef America" in 2005. He has appeared in several feature films, including the internationally acclaimed French epic, "Brotherhood of the Wolf," the cult classic "Only the Strong," "Cradle to the Grave", opposite Jet Li, "Only the Brave," "Nomad" and "The Lost Medallion," to be released later this year.

TOM DELAY -- The former House Majority Leader is a prominent Republican and conservative firebrand. He was first elected to Congress in 1984, and when Republicans took control of the House, his colleagues elected him Majority Whip, and later Majority Leader. His leadership was characterized by his aggressive "Grow the Vote" method of party discipline, where he never lost a vote, leading the Washington Post to nickname him "The Hammer." He and his wife, Christine, also served as foster parents and founded a community in Texas that serves as a safe, permanent home for abused and neglected children. DeLay is currently president of First Principles LLC, a strategic political consulting firm based in Washington DC and Houston, Texas.

MACY GRAY -- Macy Gray first burst onto the music scene with her debut album, "On How Life Is," and the hit single "I Try," both of which went to number one. She has gone on to sell more than 20,000,000 albums worldwide and has won and been nominated for five Grammy Awards and six MTV Video Music Awards. She has collaborated on stage and in the recording studio with some of music's greatest artists, including Justin Timberlake, Carlos Santana, Erykah Badu, Fergie, will.i.am (Black Eyed Peas), John Frusciante (Red Hot Chili Peppers) Nas and Natalie Cole. Gray has also appeared in numerous films, including "Spider Man," "Training Day," "Idlewild" (with Outkast) and the award-winning HBO Film, "Lackawanna Blues."

ASHLEY HAMILTON -- Actor, songwriter, comedian and son of former "Dancing with the Stars" contestant George Hamilton, Ashley is a multi-talented, multi-hyphenate with experience in film, comedy and television. An accomplished singer, Ashley had a 2003 top 20 single released by Sony, and as a songwriter co-wrote the top 10 Robbie Williams hit entitled "Come Undone." He has writing credits for Hillary Duff among other top acts. Hamilton has made various television and film appearances in his career, including a starring role in "Sunset Beach." Since 2007 he has been performing stand-up comedy at the Laugh Factory, the Hollywood Improv, the Comedy Store and Room 5 in Los Angeles.

MELISSA JOAN HART -- Known for her starring roles in the television series "Clarissa Explains It All" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch," Melissa Joan Hart began her career at the early age of four with television commercials and various television appearances. She starred in the film "Drive Me Crazy" alongside "Entourage's" Adrian Grenier, as well as the ABC Family Original Movie "Holiday in Handcuffs," opposite "Dancing with the Stars" alumnus Mario Lopez, which was the highest rated program in the history of the network. In 2009 Hart starred in another ABC Family Original Movie, "My Fake Fiancé" that also garnered huge ratings. In 1993 she started her own production company, Hartbreak Films, and is set to release her first thriller film, "Nine Dead," to DVD in January 2010. Hart and husband Mark Wilkerson are the proud parents of two sons, Mason, age three, and Braydon, 17 months.

KATHY IRELAND -- Kathy Ireland the super model is now wife, mother of three, author, Sunday school teacher and fashion CEO of kathy ireland Worldwide® (KIWW)®. Forbes, Newsweek and the Wall Street Journal celebrate KIWW® as a $1.4 billion design empire. Ireland powerfully supports many non-profits, including the Elizabeth Taylor HIV/AIDS Foundation, Feed the Children and the Alliance for Christian Education. UCLA has named her as one of the Top Ten Women's Health Advocates in America.

MICHAEL IRVIN -- Regarded as one of the most successful wide receivers in the history of the NFL, former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin is a three-time Super Bowl champion and former broadcaster for ESPN's "NFL Countdown." Known as "The Playmaker" and one of "The Triplets" alongside fellow Cowboys Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith, Irvin was a recipient of the Dallas Cowboys' Ring of Honor in 2005. In 2007 he was inducted into the Professional Football Hall of Fame and has appeared in various television shows, as well as co-starring in "The Longest Yard" with Adam Sandler and Chris Rock. Last fall Irvin executive-produced/hosted the reality TV series "4th and Long" for Spike TV, in which one football hopeful was given a shot at making the Dallas Cowboys roster. Most recently he appeared on the Hall of Fame inductions on the NFL Network, and he hosts his own radio show in Dallas for ESPN Radio.

JOANNA KRUPA -- Polish-born Joanna Krupa was born in Warsaw and raised in Chicago. After high school she moved to LA to pursue a career in modeling and acting. Her hard work and positive spirit led her to become one of the most requested models/covergirls in the world. PETA's "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" campaign featuring Krupa became a phenomenon. She's been featured in E!'s The Sexiest as one of the sexiest women in the world. In 2009 she was selected as the cover model for Ocean Drive magazine, and Maxim voted her among their TOP 100 women in the world. Film and TV credits include "Six Days in Paradise," due in the fall, "Ripple Effect," "Las Vegas" and "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation." Most recently she competed in ABC's "The Superstars," teaming with Buffalo Bills NFL star Terrell Owens.

CHUCK LIDDELL -- Chuck Liddell is the face of the Ultimate Fighting Championship and the icon of Mixed Martial Arts -- the fastest growing sport in America. In 1998 he won his first UFC Mixed Martial Arts fight. Soon after, Liddell rose through the ranks to become the light-heavyweight champion of the world. In July of 2009, he was inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame. He is tied for the most wins by a UFC fighter, with 16, and also holds the most knockout wins with 10. In 2008 Liddell penned his autobiography, Iceman: My Fighting Life, which quickly became a New York Times bestseller. He has a BA in Business/Accounting from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, where he also wrestled.

DEBI MAZAR -- Debi Mazar's feature film debut in Martin Scorsese's "Goodfellas" set the stage for an extensive career in both television and film. She has consistently worked with notable directors -- including Oliver Stone, Spike Lee, Woody Allen, Michael Mann and Joel Schumacher -- often portraying a sharp-tongued New Yorker in both dramas and comedy. Her television credits include "Friends," "Ugly Betty" and her own sitcom, CBS' "Temporarily Yours." Mazar presently stars as publicist Shauna on HBO's hit series "Entourage." She also co-hosts "Under the Tuscan Gun," a successful internet show focused on Tuscan cuisine, with her husband. The couple have two young daughters and presently reside in both Los Angeles and Tuscany, Italy.

MYA -- Grammy Award® winning multi-platinum artist Mya, became a star at the age of 18 with her eponymous debut album which yielded three Top 10 singles. In addition to releasing five full length albums, one of which went platinum and another gold, she starred in the acclaimed film "Chicago." Since then Mya has appeared in several other movies and signed a modeling contract. Her fourth and fifth studio albums, "Liberation" and "Sugar & Spice," respectively, have been released in Japan, and her sixth studio album is due to be released on her independent label. A longtime advocate for young women, Mya founded The Mya Arts & Tech Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing disadvantaged youth growth and opportunity through arts & technology education, where she serves as both executive director and teacher.

KELLY OSBOURNE -- A singer, actress and media personality, Kelly Osbourne's father is rock icon Ozzy Osbourne, and her mother is well-known TV personality Sharon Osbourne. Kelly got her start at the age of 16 in the first-ever "celebrity reality" TV show, "The Osbournes," with her famous family, which garnered an Emmy Award® for Outstanding Reality Program in 2002. That same year, Kelly released her debut music album, "Shut Up!," which included a cover of Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach." Her second album, "Sleeping in Nothing," was released in 2005 with its first single, "One Word," hitting No. 1 on all three Billboard Dance charts simultaneously. She made her dramatic acting debut in a starring role on the ABC series "Life As We Know It". In recent years Osbourne has worked primarily in the UK, where she's done theatre (including a successful run in "Chicago" in London's West End in 2007), hosted her own weekly radio show on BBC Radio and presented numerous UK TV projects, including "Project Catwalk," the UK's version of "Project Runway."

DONNY OSMOND -- Donny Osmond won the hearts of millions as both a member of the Osmonds and, with his sister (and "Dancing with the Stars" alumna) Marie, as the youngest co-hosts in primetime history on the iconic ABC variety series, "The Donny & Marie Show." He and Marie are currently performing at the Las Vegas Flamingo Hotel through 2012. For nearly five decades, Donny has been a singer, musician, Broadway and film actor, talk show and game show host, bestselling author, and even a champion race car driver.

LOUIE VITO -- Professional snowboarder Louie Vito is among the U.S.' elite snowboarders favored to make the 2010 Olympic team. Competing in both the Pipe and Slopestyle disciplines, Vito continues to train for the Grand Prix qualifying. The 21 year-old native of Bellefontaine, OH turned pro in 2006 and has competed in multiple Winter X-Games competitions. He is also a two-time winner of the USSA Grand Prix Halfpipe Series.

Viewers may cast their votes for their favorite teams via phone on Monday and Tuesday night during and up to 30 minutes after the "Dancing with the Stars" performance shows. AT&T subscribers may also text message their votes by texting the word "VOTE" and entering the number that corresponds to the team they want to support (standard text message rates apply). Viewers may also vote online at www.abc.com starting from the opening of each episode on the East Coast and until 12:00 Noon, ET the following day.

Hosted by Tom Bergeron ("America's Funniest Home Videos") and Samantha Harris ("The Insider") the celebrities will perform choreographed dance routines which will be judged by renowned Ballroom judge Len Goodman and dancer/choreographers Bruno Tonioli and Carrie Ann Inaba.

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CBS TO SPONSOR FIFTH MULTICULTURAL SKETCH COMEDY TALENT SHOWCASE

Los Angeles, Ca., August 13th, 2009.               CBS will sponsor its fifth talent showcase for multicultural sketch comedians in January 2010 in Los Angeles. Executive producer and writer, Rick Najera ("Mad TV," "Latinolouges" "Nothing Like The Holidays," "In Living Color"), will again direct the showcase for CBS.

            "Rick continues to create a collaborative directing environment with the actors and we are fortunate to have him back again with us this year. The team of Rick and Fern Orenstein, VP CBS Casting, provides the perfect combination of creative energy for our top notch showcases," said Josie Thomas, CBS Senior Vice President, Diversity.

            Photos and resumes should be sent to AFTRA, 5757 Wilshire Blvd., 9th Floor, Los Angeles, CA. 90036 - c/o Caroline Coderoni Attn: CBS Comedy Showcase. Submissions can also be sent electronically at http://www.breakdownexpress.com/ through actors access listed as the CBS Multicultural Sketch Comedy Showcase.

            The deadline for submissions is August 28, 2009. Please note: the showcase is focused on African-American, Asian-American, Latino, Native American and Pacific Islander actors and performers with disabilities, who should possess extensive sketch comedy experience. Each audition will require a one-minute original sketch comedy monologue.

            CBS Entertainment executives, casting directors from the Network's primetime and daytime programs, as well as casting directors from shows on other networks, will be on hand at the Showcase -- and an invitation has also been extended to casting directors from production companies that work with CBS.

            "Again this year, we're thrilled to be able to provide our showcase participants access to top casting directors, agents, and executive producers," said Peter Golden, CBS Executive Vice President, Talent and Casting.

            The Network's on-going talent showcases are part of the CBS Diversity Institute, a comprehensive program designed to identify and develop diversity within the writing, directing and talent communities. In addition to the Diversity Talent Showcases, currently in their seventh year, the CBS Diversity Institute includes the CBS Writers Mentoring Program, the CBS Directing Initiative and numerous actor workshops conducted nationwide, as well as writer workshops conducted in Los Angeles.

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NBC'S NEW A CAPELLA SINGING COMPETITION SERIES 'THE SING-OFF' TRAVELS TO FOUR CITIES IN SEARCH OF THE MOST TALENTED GROUPS IN AMERICA

Universal City, Ca., August 18th, 2009.                The Sing-Off," NBC's upcoming a capella singing competition series, will be traveling to four U.S. cities in September searching for the most talented a capella singing groups to compete on the series for a chance at an Epic Records/Sony Entertainment recording contract. Auditions will take place in New York City (Sept. 12), Chicago (Sept. 14), Atlanta (Sept. 16) and Los Angeles (Sept. 19).

A capella music has been the basis and inspiration for many top musical acts on the charts from Motown to Boyz to Men. Recently it has been the focus of national tournaments and exploded in popularity on college campuses all over the country. With a strong fan base and largely untapped talent pool, it has never been the center of a musical competition until now. The best of the best are going to compete on a national stage. From Joel Gallen's ("America's Best Dance Crew") Tenth Planet Productions, Outlaw Entertainment and Sony Pictures Television, "The Sing-Off" will feature the country's top a cappella groups performing popular songs like you've never heard them before. There's no lip-synching, back-up bands or safety net. They'll be singing for America's vote with the winner walking away with the ultimate prize – an Epic Records/Sony recording contract.

The casting call dates, times and locations are as follows:

NEW YORK, NY
Saturday September 12
SIR Studios
520 W. 25th St. (Between 10th & 11th)
New York, NY 10001
www.sirny.com
Line Starts at 8am • Doors Open at 9am

CHICAGO, IL
Monday September 14
Superior Street
2744 W. Superior St
Chicago, IL 60612
www.superiorst.com
Line Starts at 8am • Doors Open at 9am

ATLANTA, GA
Wednesday, September 16
Avatar Events Group
471 Glen Iris Drive NE
Atlanta, GA 30308
www.avatareventsgroup.com
Line Starts at 8am • Doors Open at 9am

LOS ANGELES, CA
Saturday September 19
Musicians Institute
1655 N. McCadden Pl.
Hollywood, CA 90028
www.mi.edu
Line Starts at 8am • Doors Open at 9am

For further information, please log onto http://www.nbc.com/casting or http://www.myspace.com/thesingoff.

Groups must consist of four to ten members, made up of any combination of males and females. Applicants must be 18 years and older and each member must bring a copy of valid ID to audition.

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ABC PRESENTS ITS NEW SERIES AND STARS AT THE D23 EXPO

Los Angeles, Ca., August 17th, 2009.               ABC proudly presents "The ABCs of Disney," an exclusive D23 EXPO event in the Anaheim Convention Center Arena, September 10 at 3:00 p.m. Hosted by Emmy(r)-nominated Tom Bergeron ("Dancing with the Stars," "America's Funniest Home Videos"), "The ABCs of Disney" presentation features Steve McPherson, President of the ABC Entertainment Group, unveiling sneak peeks at many of the fall TV season's most anticipated new shows.

Joining Steve McPherson and Tom Bergeron on stage are some of the most beloved television actors of our time, the stars of ABC's new Wednesday night comedies, Patricia Heaton ("The Middle"), Kelsey Grammer ("Hank") and Ed O'Neill ("Modern Family"). Actor Joseph Fiennes (perhaps best known for his starring role in the Oscar(r)-winning film "Shakespeare in Love") will introduce his new series, the much buzzed-about drama, "FlashForward."

"The ABCs of Disney" concludes with a thrilling dance performance by two of "Dancing with the Stars'" professional champions, including Cheryl Burke (two-time winner with partners Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith). After the presentation, fans will have a chance to receive autographs and take photos with the stars. (Please note: though the talent listed are confirmed, appearances are contingent on production schedules.)

Throughout the four-day D23 EXPO, guests can enter the "ABC House Screening Room" to get sneak peeks of ABC's new Fall schedule. The "ABC House Screening Room" is set up to be as comfortable as a living room -- where guests are encouraged to put up their feet, relax and enjoy the best that television has to offer. (Screening schedule to be announced).

Also on display Sept. 10-13 is ABC's "Lost." In celebration of the Emmy(r) Award-winning series "Lost" entering its final, thrilling season, ABC Television Network presents a can't-miss experience for all fans. Guests will be able to step into the world of "Lost" and see a selection of props, set pieces, costumes and collectors' artifacts from key moments in the series, as well as sign up for Lost University, a special Blu-ray(tm) and online experience, and receive a limited edition collectors' pin, available only at D23 Expo.

Fans will also have a chance to sneak a peek at ABC's first TV special by Walt Disney Animation Studios, "Prep & Landing." On Sept. 12, "Prep & Landing's" directors, Kevin Deters and Stevie Wermers-Skelton, will present the holiday special and answer fans' questions.

Tickets to the D23 EXPO are available at www.D23Expo.com. Admission includes access to all experiences and entertainment at the D23 EXPO and can be purchased for single days or for the full four days of festivities. Admission is $37 for a one-day adult ticket and $27 for children 3-12. Four-day passes are $111 for adults and $81 for children. Members of D23: The Official Community for Disney Fans will receive a discount on up to four same-day admissions, as well as early entry to each day of the D23 EXPO for themselves and their guests.

Special vacation packages including Disneyland Resort hotel accommodations, D23 EXPO tickets and theme park admission are available at the D23 EXPO website. Packages are available from the Walt Disney Travel Company and the Anaheim/Orange County Visitor & Convention Bureau, which is offering a limited number of area hotel rooms at special rates to those attending the D23 EXPO.

Many more details about D23 EXPO entertainment, events and special guests will be announced in the coming weeks. Fans can keep up with all the news by visiting www.D23EXPO.com, as well as by following "Disney D23_ at Twitter and on Facebook.

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CBS UNVEILS THE FIRST-EVER USE OF VIDEO IN A PRINT ADVERTISEMENT TO PROMOTE THE NETWORK'S NEW FALL PROGRAMMING AND ITS EXCLUSIVE NEW PARTNER, PEPSICO's PEPSI MAX

New York, N.Y., August 19th, 2009.               CBS announced today an exciting new entertainment marketing breakthrough... the first-ever use of video in a print advertisement.   The revolutionary VIP (Video-in-Print) technology, to be packaged in a print ad spread in the Fall TV preview issue of Entertainment Weekly, is the centerpiece of an exclusive partnership between CBS and PepsiCo's Pepsi Max designed to launch the Network's Monday night comedy lineup and new dramas - and to promote Pepsi Max, the first diet cola for men.

For the very first time, readers can watch video content straight from the printed page via a paper-thin interactive video player - featuring five channels of CBS and Pepsi Max content -- to be inserted into CBS/Pepsi Max ads in select copies of Entertainment Weekly's Fall TV preview issue (Sept. 18 issue, on stands Friday, Sept. 11). The newest of CBS's long list of marketing innovations, such as the celebrated promotional eggs, flash drives in print ads and roof-top ads for airplane passengers, this VIP promotion provides an opportunity to sample CBS's new series in a remarkably unique and involving way. Omnicom's OMD, the media agency for CBS and PepsiCo, helped orchestrate the deal.

As Entertainment Weekly readers flip to the "Monday to the Max" CBS/Pepsi Max promotional spread they will be greeted with a specially-produced brief video featuring THE BIG BANG THEORY's Kaley Cuoco, Jim Parsons and Johnny Galecki, in character as Penny, Sheldon and Leonard. The trio explains how to use the VIP (Video in Print) player - while also chatting about Entertainment Weekly and exchanging some characteristically cutting remarks with each other.

After the introduction, readers can choose from the following five video menu options:

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER "The Bro Code" (a video montage of series character Barney Stinson's amusing codes of conduct for "Bros")

2 ½ Minutes of TWO AND A HALF MEN plus THE BIG BANG THEORY "Talk Nerdy to Me" (separate video compilations of humorous moments from both shows, the second of which features a musical homage to THE BIG BANG THEORY's male characters' endearingly geeky jargon and pastimes)

"I'm Good" by Pepsi Max (a funny spot promoting this "first diet cola for men")

ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE: Preview (a sneak peek of CBS's newest comedy)

CBS New Fall Dramas: Preview (a sneak peek of NCIS: LA, THE GOOD WIFE and THREE RIVERS)

The ground-breaking VIP player, developed and manufactured by Americhip, Inc., produces high quality video and audio - and is thin and durable enough to withstand the rigors of magazine binding and U.S. mail delivery.

"We're bubbling with excitement over CBS's partnership with Pepsi Max and our first-time ever use of video in a print ad," said George Schweitzer, President, CBS Marketing Group. "Pepsi Max is a great brand and a perfect fit for our Monday night comedies and new dramas. Since we're always thirsty for the newest marketing innovation, we're thrilled to be unveiling the inaugural use of an interactive Video in Print technology in Entertainment Weekly's popular Fall TV preview issue. The best way to sample our terrific new programs is to see previews - and it's never been accomplished in a print ad... until now.   EW is the ideal venue for this ground-breaking Video in Print ad, which is entertaining in its own right and is particularly well suited for their media-engaged readership."

"This is an extraordinary way to refresh how we interact with consumers," said Frank Cooper, chief marketing officer, portfolio brands, Pepsi-Cola North America Beverages. "We're constantly seeking new ways to reach and connect with our core audience, and, as part of this groundbreaking alliance, we're utilizing technology that's both surprising and engaging. Most importantly, we're adding value in the right context through a combination of great content and innovative partners. Pepsi Max's ‘I'm Good' spot plays well with the upbeat, irreverent voice that defines CBS's Monday night comedy lineup - putting it directly into the hands of a key demographic target - readers of Entertainment Weekly's Fall TV preview issue."

"Entertainment Weekly is proud to reveal CBS's fall lineup in such an innovative way," said Time Inc. Style and Entertainment Group President Paul Caine. "The power of Entertainment Weekly's editorial and audience provides the perfect forum for this ad campaign and game changing unit and is another great example of the strength of the print medium."

"We're thrilled to launch our patented VIP^TM technology with advertisers like CBS and Pepsi," says Americhip, Inc. CEO Tim Clegg.  "This is exactly the type of application we had in mind when we developed this technology.".

In addition to the VIP promotion, the CBS/Pepsi Max "Monday to the Max" campaign also encompasses client-integrated on-air, online and outdoor promotions and several events.

Elements include:

An array of Network "Monday to the Max" promotional spots, some of which will include a "Thirsty for Comedy?!" tag.

A Los Angeles-based premiere party event with celebrities from CBS's Monday comedies joined by a mix of stars from the Network's additional primetime series.

A cbs.com Pepsi Max-branded microsite featuring interviews and red carpet excitement from the premiere party, a "Monday to the Max" comedy trivia game and a social viewing room for CBS's primetime series.



Screenings of the ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE pilot at select college campuses.

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NBC UNIVERSAL LAUNCHES FACEBOOK CONNECT ON ITS WEBSITES

New York, N.Y., August 12th, 2009.                 Today, NBC Universal announced a Facebook Connect integration across many of its digital properties to give visitors of NBC Universal websites a richer, more video-centric entertainment experience that they can share with their friends on Facebook.

Facebook Connect launches on NBC.com today, and in the coming months will roll out on many of NBC Universal's sites including USANetwork.com, AccessHollywood.com, iVillage.com, Syfy.com, Oxygen.com, NBCSports.com and the NBCOlympics.com site in time for the Vancouver Winter Olympics in February. Additional sites that have implemented Facebook Connect include BravoTV.com and the NBC Local Media sites.

This new integration will allow consumers to fully engage the social experience of television entertainment and increase online interaction around quality video content. With Facebook Connect, fans of all of the content featured on NBCU's individual digital sites will be able to see what videos are popular with their friends; encourage them to discover the latest hilarious SNL clip on NBC.com before it goes viral; interact with friends and fans as they watch streaming events during the Vancouver Winter Olympics; easily publish their favorite clips back to Facebook and share their favorite moment from "30 Rock" by sending a clip to their Facebook friends.

More than 15,000 websites, devices and applications have implemented Facebook Connect since it was released in December 2008. Facebook has more than 250 million active users.

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"CBS FALL PREVIEW" WILL AIR WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 2, 8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT ON CBS

New York, N.Y., August 18th, 2009.               CBS FALL PREVIEW, a primetime special previewing CBS's new fall lineup, to be hosted by the stars of the hit Network comedy series HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, will be broadcast Wednesday, Sept. 2 (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. This CBS fall preview offering has been an annual tradition since 2004.

CBS FALL PREVIEW will feature sneak peeks of the five new additions to CBS's primetime schedule this fall: the drama series NCIS: LOS ANGELES, THE GOOD WIFE, THREE RIVERS and MEDIUM and the comedy series ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE.    Hosts Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan and Cobie Smulders exchange humorous banter throughout the special, which was taped on their series' sets, in the midst of introducing various video previews. They also utilize comical means to drive home the point that HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER is moving to 8:00 PM on Mondays.

The special will also be available as video on demand to customers of AT&T U-verse, Comcast, Time Warner Cable and Verizon FiOS TV - and CBS stations will have the option for multiple encore showings on their primary and digital channels and/or Web sites prior to the start of the new season.

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STEVE HARVEY JOINS GOOD MORNING AMERICA

New York, N.Y., August 17th, 2009.               Steve Harvey, author, comedian, actor and host of "The Steve Harvey Morning Show," has joined ABC's "Good Morning America," it was announced today by Senior Executive Producer Jim Murphy. Harvey will bring "GMA" viewers a series of reports on topics ranging from relationships to parenting over the next few months. He will bring his own unique perspective, style and humor to morning television while interacting with viewers around the country via ABCNEWS.com, Skype and live guests in-studio. His first report was scheduled to air Wednesday, August 19.

Harvey's credits on television and in film include seven years on the WB's "The Steve Harvey Show," as well as the movies "Don't Trip...," "Johnson Family Vacation" and the animated film "Racing Stripes." His book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, was an instant hit with women across the country and landed the No. 1 spot on the New York Times Bestseller List for an impressive 26 weeks. Harvey's radio show, "The Steve Harvey Morning Show," is syndicated by Premiere Radio and heard in 60 markets around the country. He is also involved in helping young people and founded The Steve Harvey Foundation. A native of Cleveland, Ohio, Harvey currently resides in New York City.

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'TODAY'S' SIX-MONTH OLYMPIC ANNOUNCEMENT

New York, N.Y., August 12th, 2009.               In exactly six months, the world will watch its greatest athletes make history, and NBC News' "Today" will be on the forefront. America's favorite morning program will once again bring the excitement of the Olympic Games to viewers at home as Matt, Meredith, Al and Ann travel to Vancouver, Canada for The Games of the XXI Olympiad. This trip marks the second time ever all four "Today" anchors will report live from an international Olympics.

"Today's" Olympic home will be located on breathtaking Grouse Mountain overlooking Vancouver. Grouse Mountain, which boasts an 82-year history, is a four-season recreation destination, and "Today's" exclusive set will be on top of the mountain for the duration of the Games. Located 15 minutes from downtown Vancouver, the mountain will remain open 24 hours a day during the Olympics offering snow sports and alpine recreation, including night skiing, to all visitors. "Today" fans are encouraged to visit Grouse Mountain each day to watch the live broadcast and to get a chance to meet the Olympic athletes as well as the show anchors. "Today" will broadcast live each morning at 4 a.m. local time.

During the course of the Games, "Today" will give viewers an all-access pass to everything Olympic. "Today" will go behind-the-scenes of the Games and profile Team USA. Each morning, Matt, Meredith, Al and Ann will talk to the Olympic teams, and they will check in with the athletes live each day as they go for the gold. The 2010 Vancouver Olympics marks the seventh Olympic Games the "Today" show has traveled to and covered.

Grouse Mountain is Vancouver's most visited attraction receiving over one million visitors each year. Its famous Skyride (North America's largest aerial tram system) takes visitors on a one-mile aerial journey to the Alpine Station, 3,700-feet above sea level. Visitors enjoy a wilderness paradise with gorgeous panoramic views of the city, sea and surrounding mountains.

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FAMED FASHION EDITOR ANNA WINTOUR AND NEW YORK YANKEES ALL-STAR FIRST BASEMAN MARK TEIXEIRA TO BOTH MAKE THEIR FIRST VISIT TO "LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN," MONDAY, AUG. 24

New York, N.Y., August 19th, 2009.                           Legendary fashion editor Anna Wintour and New York Yankees All-Star first baseman Mark Teixeira will both make their first visits to the LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN, Monday, Aug. 24 (11:35 PM-12:37 AM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

            Wintour, editor-in-chief of the celebrated fashion magazine Vogue and one of the most powerful figures in the fashion industry, is featured in the new documentary "The September Issue," which gives a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the most important issue of the magazine from September 2007, which, at 840 pages, was Vogue's biggest issue ever. The documentary opens in theaters Aug. 28.

            In addition to his interview with Letterman, Teixeira will also participate in an outdoor batting demonstration during the LATE SHOW broadcast. In his first year with the Yankees, Teixeira is proving to be an all-around force for the American League East-leading team, not only at first base, but also in the batter's box. A key ingredient to the Bronx Bombers' success this season, he currently has a .283 batting average, recently hit his 30^th home run of the season and has an impressive total of 86 runs batted in for the season, so far.

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'THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O'BRIEN' LISTINGS

Thursday, August 20: Jonah Hill, Cheryl Hines and comedian Dan Naturman

Friday, August 21: Eva Mendes, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and musical guest The Dead Weather

Monday, August 24: Bill Maher, Nick Cannon and musical guest Kings Of Leon

Tuesday, August 25: Quentin Tarantino, Mark Feuerstein and musical guest Smokey Robinson

Wednesday, August 26: Bradley Cooper and musical guest Franz Ferdinand

Thursday, August 27: Mike Tyson and musical guest Matisyahu

Friday, August 28: Reptile Expert Nigel Marven and musical guest Colbie Caillat

Monday, August 31: Thomas Hayden Church and musical guest Pitbull

Tuesday, September 1: Mila Kunis and musical guest Cheap Trick

Wednesday, September 2: Senator John McCain, Elijah Wood and musical guest Pretenders

Thursday, September 3: Sandra Bullock

Friday, September 4: Jennifer Connelly

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LISTINGS FOR 'LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON'

Thursday, August 20 – Show 0075 – Guests include Cameron Diaz, Universal Records Database, and musical guest Grizzly Bear

Friday, August 21 – Show 0076 – Guests include Dylan McDermott, Wendy Williams, and Chef Sam Talbot

Monday, August 24 – Show 0078 – Guests include Kevin Connolly, Alexa Chung, and musical guest Aimee Mann

Tuesday, August 25 – Show 0079 – Guests include Lauren Graham, Bill Engvall, and musical guest Jonas Brothers

Wednesday, August 26 – Show 0083 – Guests include Fred Armisen, The Mighty Boosh, and musical guest Flo Rida

Thursday, August 27 – Show 0082 – Guests include Alec Baldwin, Michael Ian Black & Michael Showalter, and musical guest Jordin Sparks

Friday, August 28 – Show 0087 – Guests include Sean "Diddy" Combs, Marissa Jaret Winokur, and Tom Colicchio

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UPCOMING GUESTS ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW with CRAIG FERGUSON"

Thursday, August 20            Actress Lisa Kudrow; author James Frey; music by Chairlift

Friday, August 21                 Actor James Spader

Monday, August 24             Actress Marion Cotillard; columnist Michael Musto

Tuesday, August 25             Actor/comedian Eric Idle

Wednesday, August 26        Actress Holly Hunter; music by Camera Obscura

Thursday, August 27            Comedian Jeff Foxworthy; music by Gavin DeGraw

Friday, August 28                 Actress Selma Blair; columnist Connie Schultz

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QUOTABLES FROM 'LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON' August 10 – August 14

"This weekend Sonia Sotomayor was sworn in as the 111th Supreme Court Justice and only the third female in history. This is great. Now Ruth Bader Ginsburg will finally have a yoga buddy."

"President Obama is in Guadalajara, Mexico for his first North American Leaders' summit. After that, he's expected to hold his very first "Imodium A-D Summit.""

"During his weekly radio address, Obama said, "We've finally begun to put the brakes on this recession." Which is good news. Unfortunately, the brakes were built by General Motors."

"Here's some optimistic news. Kim Jong Il now says he wants to hold face-to-face talks with the United States. Now all North Korea needs is a big-enough step-ladder."

"It was big weekend at the box office – "G.I. Joe" made over 56 million dollars and "Julie & Julia," with Meryl Streep and Amy Adams, made over 20 million. By the way, if you're a guy who saw Julie and Julia, I just want to say (whip-cracking)."

"Tiger Woods won the Bridgestone Invitational on Sunday. That's his 70th PGA victory. 70 PGA trophies. Or as Tiger's kids call them, "Legos.""

"Congratulations to Cheech Marin - of Cheech & Chong who married his long-time girlfriend over the weekend. Cheech said it was a day he'll never remember."
"It was catered by Funyons."
"His Best Man was Michael Phelps."
"The ceremony was at 4:20."
"And… for the record: Dave wasn't there."

"A new study from the University of British Columbia found that the average dog is as smart as a 2-year-old child. That doesn't sound right. I mean I've never seen a 2-year-old kid playing poker."

"Regis Philbin is back in prime time hosting eleven new episodes of "Who Wants to be A Millionaire." But, because of Obama's tax plan, it's been retitled "Who Wants to Win Just Under 250,000?""

"A woman in Greece set fire to a man's genitals at a night-club after he tried to hit on her. You know who feels really bad about this? The guy's friend who told him "Just go talk to her. What's the worst that could happen?""

"And finally, after losing 8 straight games to the Boston Red Sox the Yankees swept the Sox in a 4-game series at Yankee Stadium. And after the Yanks swept the Sox, they made the Mets sweep the actual stadium."

"Over the past week Congressmen holding town hall meetings across the country have been disrupted by angry protesters who are against Obama's new healthcare plan. Things could have gotten violent but nobody can afford to actually get hurt."

"The division of bookseller Barnes and Noble is being sold for 596 million dollars. It looks like a done deal, although the buyer may just come in, read a little, use the bathroom and then leave."

"Big news for American Idol fans. Simon Cowell is going to be re-signed for at least three more seasons. Cowell was so excited - his nipples actually tore through his shirt."

"Last night was the Teen Choice Awards. 16-Year-old Miley Cyrus danced around a stripper pole on top of an ice-cream cart. To be fair, Miley said it wasn't a stripper pole, it was a purity abstinence pole."
"During her performance Miley wore short shorts, a tank top, and biker boots and said, "This represents where I come from." Apparently, Miley Cyrus comes from Britney Spears' house."

"This is crazy…. a Russian woman was arrested after she threw a coffee mug at the Mona Lisa in Paris. Turns out the woman threw the mug because she was upset that she didn't get French citizenship. Wow, even people who WANT to be French are rude."

"Saturday began New York City's: Summer Streets—it's an event held over 3 Saturdays in August and streets are closed to traffic for 6.9 miles from Brooklyn to Central Park. The event is also known as (New Yorker accent) "What the hell is going on up there? Move it. They closed the bridge? Who closes a frickin' bridge?!""

"I read that Illinois just became the 17th state to ban "texting while driving." So if you're going out with your friends, make sure you have a designated Tweeter."

"During his town hall meeting in New Hampshire yesterday, President Obama tried to make a point about private companies and the government providing the same services. He said, "UPS and FedEx are doing just fine… it's the Post Office that's always having problems." That's probably going to anger some postal workers, but wait, what's the worst that could happen?"
"At the same meeting, he said twice that the AARP supports his health care plan even though the AARP hasn't endorsed it. He's probably thinking of that other senior citizens group, oh yeah, Congress."

"A new study has found that women are much more choosey about looks during a one-night stand than men are. I guess there's no such thing as "White Wine Goggles.""

"Clay Aiken just signed a record deal with Decca records – the same label that represents Sting, Placido Domingo, and Andrea Bocelli. Apparently Decca is Latin for "your moms iPod.""

"A new study finds that men who have symmetrical faces are much "less likely" to suffer from dementia. That's bad news for Picasso's favorite model, Jeff."

"In Florida - an 87-year-old grandmother was bitten by a rattlesnake - and then she grabbed the snake and killed it with her bare hands. 87! Even PETA was like "make yourself a belt, lady. That's awesome.""

"A man from Pennsylvania was found guilty of groping Minnie Mouse at Disney World. Minnie said it was the worst thing to happen to her since the time she was "slipped a Mickey"."

"In his upcoming memoir, Dick Cheney said that George Bush stopped taking his advice during the second term of their administration. In Bush's defense, I think it's pretty natural to lose trust in a guy who shoots his friends in the face."
"And this happens with every administration. I mean, Obama only listened to Joe Biden for…(Counts on fingers)…NEVER."

"Cheney he also explained that the "statute of limitations has expired" on remaining silent about the Bush administration. Meanwhile, George Bush said, "I love the statue of limitations. Beautiful lady. Is the torch open?""

"Just one day after GM's claimed that its electric car – the Chevy Volt – would get 230 miles per gallon, Nissan announced that its new electric car – the Leaf – can achieve 367 miles per gallon. Meanwhile, Honda says it's working on a new car - that actually creates gasoline. That's phenomenal."

"These electric cars might be great for the environment, but never having to stop for gas on a road trip will totally crush the beef jerky industry."

"A new study from the University of Massachusetts found that, when we talk to strangers, we lie about 3 times every 10 minutes. Which reminds me, our first guest tonight is Pope Benedict."
"Sorry, I'm still tight from bench-pressing 300 pounds this morning."

"Former Cuban President Fidel Castro turned 83 today. Birthdays can be tricky especially when you're a socialist. He's gotta' figure out how to cut his birthday cake into 11 million pieces."

"Amy Winehouse's brother, Alex, wants to create a musical about his sister's life. Apparently, the musical starts out great and then really falls apart."
"It's called it Coke-Lahoma."

"Researchers at Northwestern University have created a new computer program that measures pain. It rates it on a scale from: Holy SHOOT - to Holy SON OF A MOTHER FARKING BATCH!"

"Police in Florida are trying to figure out who left 60 pounds of cocaine, worth 1 million dollars, on the sidewalk. Police are looking for the most frightened human being on Earth."
""Oh my God, Oh my God,… OK, remember the last place you saw the cocaine. THINK damn it.""

"A Muslim woman caused a stir in Paris when she showed up at a pool wearing a "burquini" - that's a swimsuit that covers the entire body from head-to-toe. She even got her eyebrows removed – or, as I like to call it: "A Brazilian Burquini Wax.""
"Afterwards the woman and her friends held the least successful charity car wash of all time."

"Some interesting animal news. A female tortoise in England made a male tortoise wait 15 years before mating with her. 15 years sounds like a long time, but in tortoise-years, she's practically a whore."

"Heidi Montag says she looked through Playboy magazine to shop for the perfect breasts when she got implants back in 2007. She also admitted that when she was shopping for a husband, she read - "Douchebag Monthly.""

"John Edwards finally admitted that he is the father of his mistress's baby – after denying it for over a year. It's a pretty classic case of whoever denied it, supplied it."
"Yeah, Edwards says he's so ashamed, he can hardly look himself in the mirror. On the bright side, that frees up an extra four hours a day for him."
"Fortunately, some good news came out of this whole thing. He agreed to join Bristol Palin on the abstinence tour."

"Big story in the NFL - Michael Vick back from his suspension, he signed a two-year contract with the Philadelphia Eagles. This is even crazier, the Minnesota Vikings just signed Phil Specter."
"Michael Vick said he's excited to be back in the NFL and playing for the Eagles. He said, "I love eagles. Especially when you throw two of them in a ring together.""

"A newspaper in Utah is refusing to publish a gay couple's wedding announcement, they said they only print legal unions. I guess in Utah, a lot of people believe that marriage should just be between a man and a woman… and a woman and a woman."

"Jon Gosselin is hosting a pool party at the MGM Grand in Vegas. It'll be huge. Hundreds of women are already lining up for the chance to drown Jon Gosselin."
"Word of warning about the Gosselin party in Vegas - if you're in the pool at the same time Jon is - you WILL get pregnant."

"A bakery in Detroit will break a record tomorrow when they unveil a 7,000-pound vanilla cupcake. Hey, you know what you call a huge cupcake? A CAKE."

"Happy Birthday to author Danielle Steele – she turned 61 today. She celebrated by lighting every candle on her cake, one by one. Each flickered as she moved on to the next, her face illuminated from below. As the final wick ignited in a soft hiss, she gently pursed her lips to extinguish the flames."

"Sarah Palin changed her Twitter name yesterday – she's now @SarahPalinUSA. The person most affected by this change? Sarah Palinusa."

"A new study finds that women spend 12,000 hours of their lives crying. While men spend the same amount of time not knowing what they're apologizing for. "What? I said you look good. What?""

"And finally, Heidi Montag said in an interview yesterday that she has 20 to 30 orgasms per day with her new husband Spencer Pratt. Then she said, "Orgasms are when you throw up in your mouth a little, right?""

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THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Ways the Country Would Be Different if Britney Spears Were President"

As presented on the Thursday, August 18 broadcast by Britney Spears

10.       I'd be the first president to wear eye shadow since Nixon.

9.         We would only invade fun places like Cabo.

8.         Free pie for everybody.

7.         My situation room would be a cabana at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas.

6.         I'd lure Osama out of hiding with the irresistible scent of my new fragrance "Circus Fantasy."

5.         Every presidential news conference would feature costume changes.

4.         America might have a more coherent fiscal strategy.

3.         Challenge U.S. to put nightclub on the moon by the end of the decade.

2.         Three words: Vice President Diddy

1.         Finally the media would pay some attention to me.

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