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Headlines & Links For Thursday, September 25th, 2008.

THE MOST OFFENSIVE LINEMEN TAKE THE FIELD          FOX’s Sunday-night lineup kicks off Sept. 28 with the season premieres of THE SIMPSONS, KING OF THE HILL, FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD. Armchair quarterbacks Homer Simpson, Hank Hill, Peter Griffin and Stan Smith have tackled the NFL with their picks for this Sunday’s games.      (Read More)

CBS RENEWS FLASHPOINT          CBS has ordered 13 new episodes of the hit original summer drama "Flashpoint" for broadcast next year.       (Read More)

THE 11TH EDITION OF "BIG BROTHER" TO RETURN IN SUMMER 2009.             CBS's summer stalwart reality show, will return next summer with its 11th edition.       (Read More)

OPRAH WINFREY MAKES A GUEST-STARRING APPEARANCE ON NBC'S 30 ROCK           Oprah Winfrey will guest-star in one episode of NBC's critically acclaimed, Emmy Award-winning comedy "30 Rock" in the season's second episode airing on November 6, 2008 (Thursday, 9:30-10 p.m. ET).       (Read More)

 

THE 13TH INSTALLMENT OF "THE AMAZING RACE," RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW SEASON OF FIRSTS ON SUNDAY, SEPT. 28 ON CBS.            Eleven new teams depart from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, embarking on a Race around the world, on The Amazing Race 13, premiering Sunday, Sept. 28.       (Read More)

FOX SEES THE TRUTH IN “LIE TO ME”             FOX has given a series commitment to LIE TO ME, a compelling new drama from Imagine Television and 20^th Century Fox Television.       (Read More)

ABC NEWS TO BROADCAST FIRST PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE ON SEPTEMBER 26            Reporting to Include Diane Sawyer's One-Hour Special on the Candidates ABC News will broadcast the first presidential debate at the University of Mississippi on Friday, September 26th at 9:00 p.m., ET / 6:00 p.m., PT.       (Read More)

NBC'S '30 ROCK' ROCKS WITH SEVEN EMMYS            NBC proved once again that it's the king of comedy as it was all "30 Rock" at the 60th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards on Sunday, September 21.       (Read More)

KELLIE PICKLER HAS A NEW YEAR'S EVE DATE WITH ABC            Country superstar Kellie Pickler will be the Times Square correspondent for "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest 2009," on Wednesday, December 31 on the ABC Television Network.       (Read More)

The CW To Give Away One New Honda Fit A Night For A Week            Together with Honda, The CW is about to launch the largest sweepstakes giveaway in network history.       (Read More)

LAUREN AMBROSE AND ADAM KAUFMAN STAR IN "UNORTHODOX," A NEW "HALLMARK HALL OF FAME" PRESENTATION CURRENTLY IN PRODUCTION IN NEW YORK CITY AND WASHINGTON, D.C. FOR BROADCAST ON CBS.            Emmy Award nominee Lauren Ambrose ("Six Feet Under") and Adam Kaufman ("Without a Trace") star in UNORTHODOX, a new "Hallmark Hall of Fame" presentation which is currently in production in New York City and Washington, D.C. for future broadcast on the CBS Television Network.       (Read More)

TAKE THE HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW ME? QUIZ ON ABC.COM            E-Mailable Quiz Allows You Test Your Friends, Family and Co-Workers on How Well They Know You, Just Like the New ABC Series.       (Read More)

ABC ENTERTAINMENT PRODUCES MUSIC VIDEOS FOR FALL LAUNCH            For the third consecutive year, ABC is producing full-length music videos for returning series including "Dirty Sexy Money," "Grey's Anatomy" and "Ugly Betty".       (Read More)

DIANE SAWYER INTERVIEWS SENATORS BARACK OBAMA AND JOHN MCCAIN AND THEIR WIVES ON "PORTRAIT OF A PRESIDENT," TWO SPECIAL EDITIONS OF "20/20," SEPTEMBER 26 AND OCTOBER 3 ON ABC            First Hour to Be Part of ABC News' Coverage of the First Presidential Debate on Friday, September 26 In the final weeks of a presidential race that has seen the candidates trade charges and countercharges, how well do voters really know Senators John McCain and Barack Obama?       (Read More)

ABC'S "WORLD NEWS WITH CHARLES GIBSON" TO EMBARK ON "THE GREAT AMERICAN BATTLEGROUND BUS TOUR" IN THE WEEKS LEADING UP TO THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION            Cross-Country Bus Trip is Part of ABC News' and USA TODAY'S "50 States in 50 Days" Initiative.       (Read More)

ABC.COM LAUNCHES ORIGINAL WEBISODES TODAY FOR "UGLY BETTY" WITH PREMIERE OF "MODE AFTER HOURS"             Additional Webisode Series to Launch Later in Season for "Brothers & Sisters" and "Scrubs".       (Read More)

ABC NEWS AND USA TODAY "50 STATES IN 50 DAYS" TO REPORT FROM ALABAMA, NORTH DAKOTA, SOUTH CAROLINA, FLORIDA, GEORGIA, NEW HAMPSHIRE AND VERMONT THE WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 29            ABC News and USA Today continues "50 States in 50 Days," an unprecedented initiative to report from every state in the nation during the 50 days leading up to the presidential election.       (Read More)

UPCOMING GUESTS ON THE "LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN"       (Read More)

'THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO' LISTINGS       (Read More)

LISTINGS FOR 'LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN'       (Read More)

UPCOMING GUESTS ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW with CRAIG FERGUSON"       (Read More)

LISTINGS FOR 'LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY'       (Read More)

LISTINGS FOR NBC'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'       (Read More)

QUOTABLES FROM 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH AMY POEHLER & SETH MEYERS' SEPTEMBER 20, 2008.       (Read More)

QUOTABLES FROM NBC'S 'LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN' SEPTEMBER 15 – SEPTEMBER 19.       (Read More)

THE MOST OFFENSIVE LINEMEN TAKE THE FIELD

Los Angeles, Ca. - Monday, Sept. 22, 2008.          FOX’s Sunday-night lineup kicks off Sept. 28 with the season premieres of THE SIMPSONS (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT), KING OF THE HILL (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT), FAMILY GUY (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) and AMERICAN DAD (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT). Armchair quarterbacks Homer Simpson, Hank Hill, Peter Griffin and Stan Smith have tackled the NFL with their picks for this Sunday’s games.

Cleveland Browns vs. Cincinnati Bengals

Peter Griffin (FAMILY GUY): Cleveland has a team named after him already?! We’ve been on the air for ten freakin’ years, and I can’t even get a fantasy team to take the name “Peter Griffins.” Good luck with the new show, buddy! My pick: Browns.

Houston Texans vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

Homer Simpson (THE SIMPSONS): I overheard a guy saying he thinks “Jacksonville could win it all this year.” I also heard the same guy say “Get away from me, Homer!” and “Quit listening to me, or I’ll punch you.” So, clearly this guy knows what he’s talking about. My pick: Jacksonville.

Denver Broncos vs. Kansas City Chiefs

Homer Simpson: Kansas City has good barbecue. Denver has good skiing. So I guess what we have here is the age-old debate of barbecue versus skiing – and barbecue always wins. My pick: Kansas City.

Atlanta Falcons vs. Carolina Panthers

Homer Simpson: Even though both cities playing have names that end with “a,” Atlanta would come first in a phone book (according to Lisa), and as anyone knows, the phone book lists things by how good they are. Like the “AAAA Pizza” we always order from, and the “AAAAAA Dentist” we send the kids to. So, until Atlanta plays Arizona, stick with the best. My pick: Atlanta.

Arizona Cardinals vs. New York Jets

Stan Smith (AMERICAN DAD): John McCain is as Arizona as it gets, and even with his broken arms I’d still trust him on the field over Favre the flip-flopper. My pick: Cardinals.

San Francisco 49ers vs. New Orleans Saints   

Stan Smith: I never understood why San Francisco even has a team. The whole town’s out buying Capri pants and leather sandals. Who’s even got time for football? Harry Connick-town, it is. My pick: Saints

Green Bay Packers vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Hank Hill (KING OF THE HILL): I think the Buccaneers are gonna send Green Bay packing. Heh heh. FOX should get me to do the pre-game show. My pick: Tampa Bay.

Minnesota Vikings vs. Tennessee Titans

Homer Simpson: Two of the top-rated defenses in the league face-off against each other. You know what that means…BO-RING! This game will be lamer than watching two clergymen exchange oatmeal recipes. Oh, wait…it’s on FOX. Forget what I said, it’s gonna be awesome! My pick: Minnesota.

San Diego Chargers vs. Oakland Raiders

Hank Hill: Silver and black versus powder blue and yellow. Sounds like the Terminator versus the Avon Lady. But that being said, I’ve got to go with the Avon Lady. My pick: San Diego.

Buffalo Bills vs. St. Louis Rams

Stan Smith: Two of the finest, most beautiful and dynamic American cities are on display here: Buffalo and St. Louis. But you know who has bills ultimately? Ducks. And if you’re ducking in football, you’re missing the ball. You win games by catching balls, not ducking out of the way. You know what I mean, friends? They’ll be celebrating on the Arch after this one. My pick: St. Louis.

Washington Redskins vs. Dallas Cowboys

Hank Hill: This is obviously the game of the week! Anybody think the Redskins are gonna beat the Cowboys? Now that’s fantasy football. My pick: Dallas.

Philadelphia Eagles vs. Chicago Bears

Peter Griffin: The only thing on the rise for the Eagles this season is Andy Reid’s cholesterol, and a visit to Chicago sure isn’t going to help. What happens in Chicago doesn’t stay in Chicago, Andy. It usually gets clogged in your left ventricle. My pick: Bears.

Baltimore Ravens vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

Homer Simpson: Another game? Seriously, how many of these are there? And this one is between two places I’ve never heard of. If you have something serious to discuss, I’ll be drunk in my hammock. My pick: None.

 

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CBS RENEWS "FLASHPOINT"

New York, N.Y., - September 22nd, 2008.            CBS has ordered 13 new episodes of the hit original summer drama "Flashpoint" for broadcast next year. The pickup comes on the heels of series high ratings, according to preliminary Nielsen live plus same day ratings. Flashpoint is the summer's top original scripted series averaging 7.73 million viewers, winning its time period against non-Olympic competition.

          The series was originally developed by CTV, Canada's largest privately owned English language broadcast network and Toronto-based Pink Sky Entertainment.  For the series, Pink Sky joined forces with Avamar Entertainment in association with CBS Paramount Network Television and CTV.  It was simulcast on CBS in the U.S. and on CTV in Canada.         

          Flashpoint stars Enrico Colantoni, Hugh Dillon, Amy Jo Johnson, David Paetkau, Michael Cram, Sergio Di Zio, Ruth Marshall and Mark Taylor. The series depicts the emotional journey into the tough, risk-filled lives of a group of cops in the Strategic Response Unit (inspired by Toronto's Emergency Task Force).

 

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THE 11TH EDITION OF "BIG BROTHER" TO RETURN IN SUMMER 2009

Los Angeles, Ca., - September 23rd, 2008.            CBS's summer stalwart reality show, will return next summer with its 11th edition. The reality game show concluded its 10th edition Sept. 16, with 25-year-old Catholic school teacher Dan Gheesling emerging as winner of the top prize.

BIG BROTHER 10 averaged nearly seven million viewers this summer, 2.4/07 in adults 18-49 and 3.0/08 in adults 25-54 and proved strong counter programming opposite the summer Olympics. In addition, BIG BROTHER 10 used both online and mobile platforms to extend the overall show experience and created a community of fans.  According to CBS Interactive analytics, BIG BROTHER 10 led all other primetime shows across the CBS Audience Network in terms of video views (clips and full episode streaming), time spent, page views and number of people visiting for the month of August.  In addition, BIG BROTHER 10 featured a full 24/7 live online feed through a partnership with Real Networks.  And on the mobile platform, BIG BROTHER 10 alerts and video clips were featured by CBS Mobile.

 

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OPRAH WINFREY MAKES A GUEST-STARRING APPEARANCE ON NBC'S 30 ROCK

New York, N.Y. – September 18, 2008. – Oprah Winfrey will guest-star in one episode of NBC's critically acclaimed, Emmy Award-winning comedy "30 Rock" in the season's second episode airing on November 6, 2008 (Thursday, 9:30-10 p.m. ET). Winfrey filmed her role at "30 Rock's" Silvercup studios in New York City on Saturday. The announcement was made today by Teri Weinberg, Executive Vice President, NBC Entertainment.

"Oprah Winfrey's presence on '30 Rock' makes this episode a television event," said Weinberg. "She is a true legend in her own time, and in this comedy's tradition, it provides the perfect showcase for stars of her renowned status. We are all thrilled."

""Oprah is very funny in the episode and we are beyond grateful to have her. Also, I would like to announce that we are officially best friends," Tina Fey, creator, executive producer and star of "30 Rock."

Honored with a record 17 Emmy nominations in 2008, "30 Rock" premieres on October 30 (Thursday, 9:30-10 p.m. ET).

Oprah Winfrey joins a growing list of high-profile guest stars this season, including Megan Mullally, Jennifer Aniston and Will Arnett (2008 Emmy nominee for his role as Devin). In the past few seasons, 30 Rock has been honored to feature Emmy-nominated performances by Steve Buscemi, Edie Falco, Carrie Fisher and Rip Torn, as well as Tim Conway and Elaine Stritch who garnered an Emmy Award in 2008 and 2007 respectively.

Hailed by Entertainment Weekly as not only "the best comedy on TV this year" but "simply the best TV," the Emmy award-winning comedy "30 Rock" is told through the comedic voice of Golden Globe winner Tina Fey ("Liz Lemon") and features Golden Globe winner Alec Baldwin ("Jack Donaghy") as a top network executive and Tracy Morgan ("Tracy Jordan") as the unpredictable star of Lemon's hit variety show, "TGS with Tracy Jordan." Lemon constantly has her hands full, juggling corporate interference from Donaghy and off-the-handle star antics from Jordan, all while attempting to salvage her own personal life.

Also rounding out the cast are Jane Krakowski ("Jenna Maroney") as the co-star of "TGS"; Scott Adsit ("Pete Hornberger") as the variety show's producer; Jack McBrayer ("Kenneth the Page") as the over-eager and effortlessly endearing NBC page; Judah Friedlander ("Frank") as the sardonic slacker on the writing staff; Katrina Bowden ("Cerie") as Lemon's young, flighty assistant; and Keith Powell ("Toofer") as the sophisticated yet sarcastic, Harvard-alum writer.

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THE 13TH INSTALLMENT OF "THE AMAZING RACE," RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW SEASON OF FIRSTS ON SUNDAY, SEPT. 28 ON CBS.

New York, N.Y. - September 18th, 2008.            "Bees are Much Calmer than All This!" - Eleven new teams depart from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, embarking on a Race around the world, on The Amazing Race 13, premiering Sunday, Sept. 28 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.  The reality game show has won five consecutive Emmy Awards for Outstanding Reality Competition Program.  Phil Keoghan is the host.

The 13th installment will feature a variety of firsts, including: Teams traveling to a real-life water world where its inhabitants live upon a floating city; first time visits for the Race to locations such as Cambodia and Kazakhstan; and one Team makes an unprecedented mistake on the road that ultimately prohibits them from joining their fellow Racers at the finish line. 

The Race begins in Los Angeles as Teams immediately begin jockeying for flights to their first location, Salvador, Brazil, where their stamina and courage are immediately put to the test during a harrowing Detour.

Following are the 11 teams, listed in no particular order:

 

Name: TERENCE GERCHBERG

Occupation: Running Coach

Age: 35

Hometown: New York

Name: SARAH LESHNER

Occupation: Wall Street Investment Analyst

Age: 31

Hometown: New York

Relationship: NEWLY DATING         

This Team is determined to prove to themselves they belong together.  They are well traveled and both enjoy physical activities and pushing each other to succeed.  Either way, this adventure will definitely be a journey that could make or break them.   

 

Name: MARISA AXELROD

Occupation: Student                

Age: 22                                                           

Hometown: Spartanburg, S.C.                

Name: BROOKE JACKSON

Occupation: Graphic Designer

Age: 24           

Hometown: Columbia, S.C.

Relationship: SOUTHERN BELLES 

These charming southern belles are best friends and are up for any challenge.  They want to prove to the world that they're not just cute blondes and that they can be athletic and fierce competitors.

  

Name: ANDREW LAPPITT

Occupation: Student

Age: 22                       

Hometown: Tucson, Ariz.  

Name: DAN HONIG

Occupation: Hotel Manager Trainee     

Age: 23                       

Hometown: Wilmington, Del.

Relationship: FRATERNITY BROTHERS

Life couldn't be any better for these fraternity brothers.  Andrew and Dan met while attending Arizona State University and the last four years have been filled with good times.  Some of the Teams have referred to them as "Team Superbad."  These two say they can talk their way in or out of anything by cracking jokes and keeping the mood light.  Look for them to always keep things entertaining in their own special way.

 

Name: AJA BENTON

Occupation: Aspiring Actress

Age: 25                                                                                   

Hometown: Los Angeles  

Name: TY WHITE

Occupation: Banker

Age: 25           

Hometown: West Bloomfield, Mich.

Relationship: DATING LONG DISTANCE 

This long distance dating couple is looking for an opportunity to be together for an extended period of time.  They've been dating for nine months, living in two separate cities and the longest time they've spent together was last Christmas for two weeks. They feel that the Race will help them determine if they can truly handle living together on a daily basis.

 

Name: MARK YTURRALDE 

Occupation: Treasurer of Comic-Con

Age: 41           

Hometown: San Diego  

Name: BILL KAHLER           

Occupation: Student Aid Administrator

Age: 42

Hometown: San Diego   

Relationship: BEST FRIENDS 

These comic book aficionados are determined to be the most strategic team ever to compete in the Race.  Mark and Bill, friends for over 23 years, first met at a science fiction club and have been bonding over their love for comics and games ever since.  Mark says that he "wears geek like a badge of honor."

  

Name: TONI IMBIMBO

Occupation: Accounting Consultant

Age: 51

Hometown: Woodside, Calif. 

Name: DALLAS IMBIMBO   

Occupation: Student

Age: 22           

Hometown: Woodside, Calif.

Relationship: MOTHER/SON

Toni and Dallas have always been there for each other and will let nothing come between them.  These two are hoping the Race will provide them with some quality family time they've been missing out on since Dallas has been away at college - and maybe they can win a million dollars along the way.

 

Name: NICK SPANGLER

Occupation: Actor

Age: 22           

Hometown: New York  

Name: STARR SPANGLER

Occupation: Former NFL Cheerleader                                     

Age: 21                                                                       

Hometown: Fort Worth, Texas

Relationship: BROTHER/SISTER

This brother/sister team will stop at nothing to win the Race.  Both are extremely driven and competitive, especially with one another.  They admit to being over-zealous when a prize is involved - even if it's only bragging rights. They're excited to use this to their advantage on the race.

  

Name: ANITA JONES

Occupation: Retired Paralegal

Age: 63                                   

Hometown: Eugene, Ore.  

Name: ARTHUR JONES                                

Occupation: Playground Maintenance 

Age: 61                       

Hometown: Eugene, Ore.

Relationship: MARRIED BEEKEEPERS         

Anita and Arthur can't wait to make the Race their next big adventure. This energetic couple is open hearted and free spirited. They make and sell their own honey and recently purchased an organic blueberry farm. They have known each other for over 26 years and have been married for almost 14 years. Their blended family and children are the most important part of their lives.

  

Name: KELLY CRABB

Occupation: Sales Representative

Age: 26                       

Hometown: Houston 

Name: CHRISTY COOK                               

Occupation: Business Development      

Age: 26                                                           

Hometown: Austin, Texas

Relationship: DIVORCEES

Kelly and Christy are best friends who will never settle for second best.  These two go-getters have been through a lot in the last year and want to prove that they can overcome anything.   Kelly, having been a collegiate dancer, and Christy, a collegiate cheerleader, are physically fit and are up for the challenges the Race will bring

  

Name: KEN GREENE                        

Occupation: Home Builder/Ex-NFL Player

Age: 51                       

Hometown: San Diego  

Name: TINA GREENE                       

Occupation: President BioPharmMed   

Age: 48                                                           

Hometown: Tampa, Fla.

Relationship: SEPARATED     

This married couple is looking to reconnect on the Race. They've been separated and living on different coasts for several months and are ready to put their marriage back together.  Ken, an ex-NFL star who played for the St. Louis Cardinals and the San Diego Chargers, was also a college football assistant coach.  He is currently a home builder.  He is competitive, athletic and says his problem-solving skills will help them win the race. He thinks Tina is too controlling and should relax a bit more, but anticipates the Race will help them learn to appreciate their differences.         

  

Name: ANTHONY MAROTTA                     

Occupation: Mortgage Broker 

Age: 32                       

Hometown: Los Angeles  

Name: STEPHANIE KACANDES

Occupation: Financial Saleswoman

Age:  32                                                          

Hometown: Los Angeles

Relationship: DATING

Back together again after a year-long break-up, Anthony says he will propose to Stephanie if they make it through the Race.  Even though they've overcome many of their differences, their constant bickering suggests otherwise.

 

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FOX SEES THE TRUTH IN “LIE TO ME”

 

Los Angeles, Ca., - September 23rd, 2008.            FOX has given a series commitment to LIE TO ME, a compelling new drama from Imagine Television and 20^th Century Fox Television. Tim Roth (“The Incredible Hulk”) and Kelli Williams (“The Practice”) star in this fascinating character drama inspired by a real-life specialist who can read clues embedded in the human face, body and voice to expose the truth behind the lies in criminal investigations. LIE TO ME is scheduled to premiere midseason.

 

When you scratch your chin, wring your hands, wrinkle your nose or swallow too much, Dr. Cal Lightman (Roth) knows you’re lying. He doesn’t just think so – he knows so. As the foremost deception expert in the country, Dr. Lightman can uncover the deepest secrets and crack the hardest cases. More accurate than any polygraph, he knows whether those in front of him, be they family, friends, criminals or complete strangers, are honest or not.

 

Dr. Lightman heads up The Lightman Group, a private agency contracted by the FBI, local police, law firms, corporations and private individuals when they hit roadblocks in their searches for the truth. Joining him at the agency are a variety of experts in the field of behavioral evaluation: Dr. Gillian Foster (Williams) is a gifted psychologist and Lightman’s professional partner, a woman whose guidance he needs whether he knows it or not; Will Loker (Brendan Hines) is Lightman’s lead researcher who practices “radical honesty” at all times; and Ria Torres (Monica Raymund) is the newest member of the team, selected for her innate ability to read body language and catch certain clues that her colleagues may miss.

 

Samuel Baum, Brian Grazer, David Nevins and Steve Maeda serve as executive producers on the series, which is produced by Imagine Television and 20^th Century Fox Television. Robert Schwentke directed the pilot.

 

 

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ABC NEWS TO BROADCAST FIRST PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE ON SEPTEMBER 26

New York, N.Y. - September 24th, 2008.            Reporting to Include Diane Sawyer's One-Hour Special on the Candidates ABC News will broadcast the first presidential debate at the University of Mississippi on Friday, September 26th at 9:00 p.m., ET / 6:00 p.m., PT. Charles Gibson, Diane Sawyer and George Stephanopolous will anchor ABC's live coverage from New York. They'll be joined by Jake Tapper and David Wright reporting from the debate site in Mississippi. National Security Correspondent Jon Karl will report from the ABC News Fact Check Desk. ABC News Commentator George Will and New York Times Columnists Tom Friedman will contribute post-debate analysis.

At 8:00 p.m., ET / 10:00 p.m., PT on Friday, ABC News will air a one-hour special edition of "20/20" on the candidates. Anchored by Diane Sawyer, the program will examine the personal crises, family struggles and defining events that shaped Senators McCain and Obama. The second part of this special will air on October 3 at 10:00 p.m., ET and will offer an intimate look at the personal and family lives of these men.

ABC News NOW will provide live coverage hosted by Sam Donaldson in DC and Rick Klein live at the University of Mississippi.

ABCNEWS.com will live stream ABC News NOW's coverage of the debate from 8:00-11:00 p.m. Rick Klein will blog during the live debate, engaging users, and there will be reports from the debate hall and spin room throughout the evening. Additionally, ABCNEWS.com will report from the ABC Fact Check desk where a team of producers and reporters will be vetting debate remarks.

Aaron Katersky will anchor ABC News Radio's live coverage of Friday night's debate at 9 p.m., ET from the University of Mississippi in Oxford, Mississippi. ABC News Political Analysts Torie Clarke and Steve Roberts will contribute to the coverage.

ABC NewsOne, the affiliate news feed service of ABC News, will provide live reports from the University of Mississippi with ABC News correspondent Linsey Davis.

 

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NBC'S '30 ROCK' ROCKS WITH SEVEN EMMYS

Burbank, Ca. - September 21st, 2008.            NBC proved once again that it's the king of comedy as it was all "30 Rock" at the 60th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards on Sunday, September 21. The hit NBC sophomore series picked up four statuettes, including Outstanding Comedy Series, bringing its total to seven (including last week's Creative Arts Awards), tying the all-time single season record for comedy series set by "All in the Family" in 1972.

"30 Rock" also topped all series, comedy or drama, as the leading Emmy winner at the live awards telecast which saw series star and executive producer Tina Fey pick up three individual Emmys for writing, performing and producing. Alec Baldwin won his first Emmy in seven tries as he was named Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series.

"On behalf of everyone at NBC Entertainment and Universal Media Studios, we would like to congratulate all our Emmy winners, and especially Tina Fey, who picked up three Emmys for her outstanding work on '30 Rock' as a writer, performer and producer," said Ben Silverman, Co-Chairman, NBC Entertainment and Universal Media Studios. "It's a huge testament to an enormously talented cast and crew who racked up a record 17 Emmy nominations."

"I am particularly pleased for all the hard-working men and women who have made '30 Rock' the Outstanding Comedy Series for the second year in a row," said Marc Graboff, Co-Chairman, NBC Entertainment and Universal Media Studios. "We are thrilled about '30 Rock's' well-deserved seven Emmys. Our sincerest congratulations to everyone in the NBC Universal family."

In addition to the four Emmys won Sunday night, "30 Rock," which is produced by Universal Media Studios, won three Emmys, including Outstanding Casting for a Drama Series, Outstanding Sound Mixing and Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series (Tim Conway) at last week's Creative Arts Awards.

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KELLIE PICKLER HAS A NEW YEAR'S EVE DATE WITH ABC

New York, N.Y. - September 17th, 2008.            Country superstar Kellie Pickler will be the Times Square correspondent for "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest 2009," on Wednesday, December 31 on the ABC Television Network. The three and a half hours of New Year's programming begins at 10:00 p.m., ET.

 

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The CW to Give Away One New Honda Fit a Night For a Week

Los Angeles, Ca. - September 22nd, 2008.            Together with Honda, The CW is about to launch the largest sweepstakes giveaway in network history. Beginning Monday, Sept. 29, The CW will give away a new 2009 Honda fit to one viewer each night of the week.

 

Viewers who tune in to The CW in primetime between Sept. 29 and Oct. 3 will see short features on a 2009 Honda Fit and be prompted to visit cwtv.com. Viewers who correctly answer a question on the website will be entered into a drawing to win the Honda Fit. For more info, visit http://cwtv.com/thecw/hondafit.

 

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LAUREN AMBROSE AND ADAM KAUFMAN STAR IN "UNORTHODOX," A NEW "HALLMARK HALL OF FAME" PRESENTATION CURRENTLY IN PRODUCTION IN NEW YORK CITY AND WASHINGTON, D.C. FOR BROADCAST ON CBS.  

New York, N.Y. - September 24th, 2008.            Emmy Award nominee Lauren Ambrose ("Six Feet Under") and Adam Kaufman ("Without a Trace") star in UNORTHODOX, a new "Hallmark Hall of Fame" presentation which is currently in production in New York City and Washington, D.C. for future broadcast on the CBS Television Network.    This quirky love story revolves around the unexpected wedding and unconventional married life of a 26-year-old widow and her late husband's brother, a handsome 30-year-old cardiologist.  Susie Essman ("Curb Your Enthusiasm"), Ricki Lake ("Hairspray," "China Beach") and Academy Award and Golden Globe Award winner Mercedes Ruehl ("The Fisher King") also star. 

            Jake Lever (Kaufman), a successful, 30-year-old Washington, D.C. doctor who seems to be living his dream, is stunned to learn of the death of his older brother, Benjamin.  Jake and his mother, Janice (Ruehl), who are not religious, drifted apart from Benjamin after he moved away to become a rabbi and chose to devote nearly all of his time to his rabbinical duties and his faith. As a result, Jake and Janice are virtual strangers to Benjamin's young widow, Leah (Ambrose), and the other mourners in Benjamin's close-knit Hasidic community in Brooklyn, N.Y. 

            Already ill-at-ease in Benjamin's world, Jake is shocked when he is asked to honor an ancient Levirate marriage law.  As a single man, he's expected to marry the childless Leah to carry on Benjamin's name...or else deny his brother's existence in a ceremony that will release them from this generally un-enforced Jewish law.

            Despite his serious relationship with a beautiful surgeon, Carol (Christy Pusz), Jake finds it unthinkable to deny his brother's existence and impulsively suggests he and Leah marry and maintain a secretly platonic relationship in Washington, D.C.  Leah gladly accepts as a means of finally pursuing her own dreams without offending her very traditional and domineering mother, Malka (Essman). 

            Jake and Leah's oversimplified plan to live separate lives out of Jake's two-bedroom apartment proves to be more challenging than anticipated, especially when Leah's suspicious mother shows up unexpectedly.  The harder they work to disguise their "pretend" marriage, the more their real love for each other grows.

            Ricki Lake portrays Gerry, the first female rabbi Leah has ever met, who invites Leah to join her temple in Washington, D.C.

 

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TAKE THE HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW ME? QUIZ ON ABC.COM

New York, N.Y. - September 22nd, 2008.            E-Mailable Quiz Allows You Test Your Friends, Family and Co-Workers on How Well They Know You, Just Like the New ABC Series. Take the "How Well Do You Know Me? Quiz" on ABC.com, then check out the new series "Opportunity Knocks," TUESDAYS, (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET) on ABC.

Users will have the opportunity to find out how well their friends, family and co-workers really know them - by challenging them to answer ten simple questions about their habits, likes and dislikes.  

"Opportunity Knocks" host JD Roth will deliver a grade - telling users they've rocked the quiz, need to hang out more often, or should pay more attention to their friends' likes and dislikes. Users can see which family members, friends and co-workers know them best on their personal leader board, and can compete for the highest ranking on the ABC leader board by having the greatest number of people take the challenge.

For more information on the "Opportunity Knocks" "How Well Do You Know Me? Quiz," please go to www.ABC.com/OpportunityKnocks.

 

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ABC ENTERTAINMENT PRODUCES MUSIC VIDEOS FOR FALL LAUNCH

New York, N.Y. - September 22nd, 2008.            For the third consecutive year, ABC is producing full-length music videos for returning series including "Dirty Sexy Money," "Grey's Anatomy" and "Ugly Betty". In addition to individual videos for specific series, ABC has created a music video featuring the entire fall lineup to Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." All three series videos will include footage from their respective upcoming season premieres and can be seen at ABC.com.

"Dirty Sexy Money" Premieres, Wednesday, Oct. 1 (10:01 - 11:00 p.m. ET). The series stars Peter Krause as Nick George, Donald Sutherland as Tripp Darling, William Baldwin as Patrick Darling, Natalie Zea as Karen Darling, Glenn Fitzgerald as Brian Darling, Seth Gabel as Jeremy Darling, Zoe McLellan as Lisa George, with Blair Underwood as Simon Elder, Jill Clayburgh as Letitia Darling and Lucy Liu as Nola Lyons.

 "Grey's Anatomy" Two-hour Season Premiere, Thursday, Sept. 25 (9:00 - 11:00 p.m., ET). Stars Ellen Pompeo as Meredith Grey, Patrick Dempsey as Derek Shepherd, Sandra Oh as Cristina Yang, Katherine Heigl as Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Justin Chambers as Alex Karev, T.R. Knight as George O'Malley, Chandra Wilson as Miranda Bailey, James Pickens, Jr. as Richard Webber, Sara Ramirez as Callie Torres, Eric Dane as Mark Sloan, Chyler Leigh as Lexie Grey and Brooke Smith as Erica Hahn.

"Ugly Betty" Season Premiere, Thursday, Sept. 25 (8:00 - 9:00 p.m. ET). Stars America Ferrera as Betty Suarez, Eric Mabius as Daniel Meade, Tony Plana as Ignacio, Ana Ortiz as Hilda, Ashley Jensen as Christina, Becki Newton as Amanda, Mark Indelicato as Justin, Michael Urie as Marc, Judith Light as Claire Meade, Christopher Gorham as Henry, Rebecca Romijn as Alexis and Vanessa Williams as Wilhelmina Slater. Freddy Rodriguez is a recurring guest star as Gio. Eddie Cibrian as Coach Diaz and Lindsay Lohan as Kimmie will guest star.

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DIANE SAWYER INTERVIEWS SENATORS BARACK OBAMA AND JOHN MCCAIN AND THEIR WIVES ON "PORTRAIT OF A PRESIDENT," TWO SPECIAL EDITIONS OF "20/20," SEPTEMBER 26 AND OCTOBER 3 ON ABC

New York, N.Y. - September 22nd, 2008.            First Hour to Be Part of ABC News' Coverage of the First Presidential Debate on Friday, September 26 In the final weeks of a presidential race that has seen the candidates trade charges and countercharges, how well do voters really know Senators John McCain and Barack Obama? Diane Sawyer anchors two hour-long "20/20" specials examining the personal crises, family struggles and defining events that have shaped the candidates. The first hour will air in conjunction with ABC News' special coverage of the first Presidential Debate on FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 26 from 8:00-9:00 p.m., ET, 10:00-11:00 p.m., PT* (ABC News' live coverage of the debate at the University of Mississippi will air at 9:00 p.m., ET, 6:00 p.m., PT). The second hour will air on FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3 from 10:00-11:00 p.m., ET on the ABC Television Network.

Over five months, ABC News sat down with Senators McCain and Obama, their families and close friends, who provided first-hand accounts of their extraordinary lives. These specials include never-before seen footage, rare photos and behind-the-scenes access with both candidates. In it the Senators share what they consider their most crushing failures, who their closest friends are and how they ended up with the women they are devoted to. Sawyer interviews both Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain, who talk about how they see their husbands -- as candidates, fathers and leaders.
 
 From a revealing elementary school essay of Senator Obama's to a never-before-heard radio broadcast by Senator McCain from Hanoi, the first hour airing on Friday, September 26 will focus on the turning points of the candidates' early lives. The second hour, airing on October 3, will take an intimate look at the personal and family aspects of these men.

 

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ABC'S "WORLD NEWS WITH CHARLES GIBSON" TO EMBARK ON "THE GREAT AMERICAN BATTLEGROUND BUS TOUR" IN THE WEEKS LEADING UP TO THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

New York, N.Y. - September 24th, 2008.            Cross-Country Bus Trip is Part of ABC News' and USA TODAY'S "50 States in 50 Days" Initiative In the final weeks of the presidential race, ABC's "World News with Charles Gibson" will hit the road to report from key battleground states that will play a pivotal role in determining the outcome of this election. Beginning Thursday, October 2 and continuing through the following week, ABC News anchor Gibson and a "World News" team will embark on the "Great American Battleground Bus Tour," traveling by bus to seven cities around the country in closely contested states.
 
The Great American Battleground Bus Tour will take "World News" to the following locations:

* Orlando, Florida on Thursday, October 2
* Valdosta, Georgia on Friday, October 3
* Dayton, Ohio on Monday, October 6
* Bowling Green, Ohio on Tuesday, October 7
* Kalamazoo, Michigan on Wednesday, October 8
* Racine, Wisconsin on Thursday, October 9
* Davenport, Iowa on Friday, October 10

In each city, Gibson and "World News" will look at the key issues facing voters as they prepare to cast their ballots in this historic election. What will it take for Senator John McCain or Senator Barack Obama to sway undecided voters? Gibson will speak with voters in these closely contested states for a first-hand account of the issues that will ultimately decide this election.

"World News'" reporting effort is part of ABC News' and USA TODAY's "50 States in 50 Days," an unprecedented initiative to report from every state in the nation during the 50 days leading up to the presidential election. Over the course of two months, ABC News' anchors and correspondents and USA TODAY's reporters and photographers are reporting on one state each day in the run-up to the historic vote on November 4.

Additionally, on Thursday, October 2, Gibson will co-anchor ABC's coverage of the Vice Presidential debate (9:00-11:00 p.m., ET on the ABC Television Network) from Orlando. He will be joined by Diane Sawyer in New York and George Stephanopoulos at the debate in St. Louis, Missouri.

Then on Tuesday, October 7, Gibson will co-anchor coverage of the Presidential debate (9:00-11:00 p.m., ET on the ABC Television Network) from Bowling Green. Sawyer will anchor from New York and Stephanopoulos will anchor from the debate venue in Nashville, Tennessee.

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ABC.COM LAUNCHES ORIGINAL WEBISODES TODAY FOR "UGLY BETTY" WITH PREMIERE OF "MODE AFTER HOURS"

New York, N.Y. - September 24th, 2008.             Additional Webisode Series to Launch Later in Season for "Brothers & Sisters" and "Scrubs". Dedicated to expanding its network and channel brands across multiple platforms and connecting viewers with their favorite shows anytime and anywhere, Disney-ABC Television Group announced today a new "Ugly Betty" webisode series, "Mode After Hours," premiering today, September 24 on ABC.com. Original webisode series will also premiere later in the season for "Brothers & Sisters" and "Scrubs."

"Mode After Hours" features Marc (Michael Urie) and Amanda (Becki Newton) in different adventures at the Mode office after the work day is done and everyone has left.  The six webisodes are three to five minutes in length, and the second webisode will be available the same day as the season premiere, Thursday, Sept. 25.  The additional four new webisodes will be posted weekly, every Thursday morning.  Fans will be treated to an exclusive special of behind-the-scenes outtakes, including the making of "Mode After Hours," following the last original webisode.

"Mode After Hours" ABC.com Schedule is as follows:
September 23, Gwadalaharahh
September 25, Friend-iversary VLOG
October 2, Bowling for Cliff
October 9, Slumber Party Secrets
October 16, Summers Sιance
October 23, Trapped in the Elevator
October 23, Behind The Scenes Extras and Making of "Mode After Hours"

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ABC NEWS AND USA TODAY "50 STATES IN 50 DAYS" TO REPORT FROM ALABAMA, NORTH DAKOTA, SOUTH CAROLINA, FLORIDA, GEORGIA, NEW HAMPSHIRE AND VERMONT THE WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 29

New York, N.Y. - September 24th, 2008.            ABC News and USA Today continues "50 States in 50 Days," an unprecedented initiative to report from every state in the nation during the 50 days leading up to the presidential election. Over the course of two months, ABC News' anchors and correspondents and USA TODAY's reporters and photographers will report on one state each day in the run-up to the historic vote on November 4. Reports for the week beginning Monday, September 29 include:

Monday, September 29 - Alabama
"Nightline" correspondent John Donvan travels to Calhoun, Alabama to meet with a small town women's church group and explore the increasing importance of the women's vote in this year's election.

Tuesday, September 30 - North Dakota
"World News" travels to North Dakota to report on the issues that matter most to voters there.

Wednesday, October 1 - South Carolina
Claire Shipman reports for "Good Morning America" on the intersection of race and politics in South Carolina that's making that state competitive as the presidential election nears.

Thursday, October 2 - Florida
"World News" kicks off its "Great American Battleground Bus Tour" through several battleground states, stopping first in Florida -- a key player presidential election's past and present. Charlie Gibson reports from Orlando on the start of this seven-city trek across the country. What issues are driving voters in this closely contested state?

Friday, October 3 - Georgia
The "World News" bus tour continues with Gibson reporting from the campus of Valdosta State University in Valdosta, Georgia. What will it take to win the South?

Saturday, October 4 - New Hampshire
Kate Snow reports from New Hampshire for "Good Morning America Weekend" on how that state's reputation for backing maverick candidates could earn John McCain a victory there - and quite possibly the White House.

Sunday, October 5 - Vermont
Marysol Castro travels to Vermont for "Good Morning America Weekend" to report on the state's long history of political activism despite having only three electoral votes.

The 50 States journey officially began the week of September 15 with Diane Sawyer, Robin Roberts, Chris Cuomo and Sam Champion anchoring "Good Morning America" on board a specially-equipped AMTRAK train. ABC News reported from Massachusetts, New York, Ohio, West Virginia and Washington, DC from the train, as well as North Carolina and Utah during the first week of the journey. To date, ABC News has also reported from Virginia, Maryland, Illinois, Arkansas, Mississippi, Idaho and Kentucky.

ABCNEWS.com provides comprehensive coverage of the "50 State in 50 Days" initiative, with political reporting by Rick Klein, senior political reporter and author of "The Note." ABCNEWS.com also features an interactive rollover map that highlights each day's state and includes polls on each state, links to individual state pages and behind-the-scenes video and blog posts. Each individual state page will provide both current and historical information on the state, as well as data on how the state voted in previous presidential elections.

ABC News Radio Correspondent Aaron Katersky continues to report the pulse of Americans in the 50 day period between the conventions and Election Day.

In addition to the "50 States in 50 Days" television coverage, USA TODAY will feature stories on each of the 50 states each day in the newspaper. USA TODAY will continue coverage reporting on seven states a week in the newspaper, with two states being featured on Mondays and Fridays. ABCNEWS.com and USATODAY.com will share news content and produce complementary interactive features.

 

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UPCOMING GUESTS ON THE "LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN"

Thursday, Sept. 25                               Reality television star Paris Hilton; Jamaican Olympic Track and Field gold medalist Usain Bolt; musical guests Morningwood

Friday, Sept. 26                                   Cycling legend Lance Armstrong; actress Kristen Wiig; musical guests TV on the Radio

Monday, Sept. 29                                Actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus from the CBS comedy series "The New Adventures of Old Christine"; actor Michael Cera; musical guest Pete Seeger

Tuesday, Sept. 30                                Actress Anne Hathaway; Josette Sheeran, executive director of the UN World Food Programme; musical guests The Virgins

Wednesday, Oct. 1                              Actress Kate Walsh; director Barry Sonnenfeld; musical guest Darius Rucker   

Thursday, Oct. 2                                  Actor/comedian Bill Hader; musical guest Lucinda Williams.

Friday, Oct. 3                                       Actor Tim Robbins

Monday, Oct. 6                                    Actor Russell Crowe; author Sarah Vowel; musical guests The Pretenders

Tuesday, Oct. 7                                    Actress Debra Messing; environmentalist John Carter

Wednesday, Oct. 8                              Actor Dennis Quaid; actress Sarah Chalke; musical guests Buddy Guy

 

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'THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO' LISTINGS

Thursday, September 25 – Musical guest The Hives

Friday, September 26 – Guests include Jimmy Kimmel and musical guest Jennifer Hudson

Monday, September 29 – Guests include Russell Crowe, Robert Wagner and musical guest Lang Lang

Tuesday, September 30 – Guests include Ellen DeGeneres, Jerry O'Connell and musical guest Jazmine Sullivan

Wednesday, October 1 – Guests include Greg Kinnear, Chelsea Handler and musical guest Nikka Costa

Thursday, October 2 – Guests include Dennis Miller

Friday, October 3 – Guests include Molly Shannon

Monday, October 6 – Guests include Gerard Butler

 

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LISTINGS FOR 'LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN'

Thursday, September 25 – Show 2645 – Guests include Julianne Moore, Zachary Levi (NBC's "Chuck"), and musical guest Jakob Dylan with special guest Norah Jones

Friday, September 26 – Show 2646 – Guests include Brooke Shields (NBC's "Lipstick Jungle"), Robert Reich, and musical guest Amos Lee

Monday, September 29 – Show 2647 – Guests include Bill Maher, Simon Pegg, and musical guest The Watson Twins

Tuesday, September 30 – Show 2648 – Guests include Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Michael Cera

Wednesday, October 1 – Show 2649 – Guests include Robin Wright-Penn and Louis CK

Thursday, October 2 – Show 2650 – Guests include Tom Arnold and musical guest Ben Folds

Friday, October 3 – Show 2651 – Guests include Greg Kinnear and musical guest Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

 

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UPCOMING GUESTS ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW with CRAIG FERGUSON"

 

Thursday, Sept 25                    Fashion mentor Tim Gunn; actress Elizabeth Reaser from the CBS drama series "The Ex List"

Friday, Sept. 26                       Host Drew Carey from the CBS game show "The Price Is Right"; NBA player Tony Parker; music by Lady Antebellum

Monday, Sept. 29                    Actress Melina Kanakaredes from the CBS drama series "CSI: NY"; Undefeated MMA fighter Gina Carano from the CBS EliteXC Saturday Night Fights; music by Amy MacDonald

Tuesday, Sept. 30                    Actor Tim Daly; actress Anna Friel; music by Alice Cooper

Wednesday, Oct. 1                  Actress Jenifer Love Hewitt from the CBS drama series "Ghost Whisperer"; Actor Jim Parsons from the CBS comedy series "The Big Bang Theory

Thursday, Oct. 2                  Actress Lauren Graham; author Luke Dempsey; music by Michael Franti & Spearhead

Friday, Oct. 3                       Comedian Margaret Cho; performance and talk with Randy Newman

Monday, Oct. 6                    Actor Seth Green; actress Sarah Shahi

 

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LISTINGS FOR 'LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY'

Thursday, September 25 — 926 Seth McFarlane with musical guest Unwritten Law

Friday, September 26 — 901 Miranda Kerr / Rachael Harris with musical guest Seether

Monday, September 29 — 927 Kat Dennings

Tuesday, September 30 — 928 Bill Tancer with musical guest Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip

Wednesday, October 1 — 929 TBD

Thursday, October 2 — 930 Shirley Manson with musical guest Cut Copy

Friday, October 3 — 899 Bear Grylls

 

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LISTINGS FOR NBC'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'

September 27 - Anna Faris / Duffy

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QUOTABLES FROM 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH AMY POEHLER & SETH MEYERS' SEPTEMBER 20, 2008.

 "WEEKEND UPDATE" CO-ANCHOR AMY POEHLER: "Wall Street was hit hard Monday when Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch was sold to Bank of America, and insurance giant AIG neared a collapse of its own. Basically, if you commercials air during golf tournaments, you're done."

"WEEKEND UPDATE" CO-ANCHOR SETH MEYERS: "Pope Benedict delivered an anti-euthanasia message this week, saying that people must accept death at 'the hour chosen by God.' And then he rode away in a heavily armored, bulletproof car."

POEHLER: "A top McCain policy advisor claimed this week that McCain's work in the Senate helped create the BlackBerry saying, 'You're looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.' He then handed the BlackBerry to McCain, who attempted to withdraw twenty dollars from it."

POEHLER: "NBC Universal this week bought The Weather Channel for 3.5 billion dollars. NBC executives wanted to reach the elusive 'let's leave the TV on for the dog' demographic."

MEYERS: "Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Lawrence Ellison top the Forbes list of the top 10 richest people in the U.S. having a combined wealth, as of Friday, of nearly eight thousand dollars."

MEYERS: "Star Trek's George Takei and his longtime partner, Brad Altman, were married this past Sunday. Set your phasers on STUNNING! The couple vowed to boldly go where no man has gone before except the both of them with each other, many, many times."

POEHLER: "A cat in England has adopted a baby chicken after it became the sole survivor of a fox attack. Or a baby chicken laid down kinda near a cat and a farmer wanted to be on the news."

POEHLER: "A new study shows that social-networking sites have become more popular than internet pornography sites. So, mixed feelings for the staff over at 'Sit-On-My-Facebook.com.'"

MEYERS: "A man in Michigan stole nearly 250 empty beer cans from a 7-11 store and then told police that his crack cocaine habit drove him to do it. So they had you on stealing empty cans and you gave them a major charge? That's like saying 'Sorry about the littering, officer, I'm just so distracted ever since I killed my wife.'"

POEHLER: "To mark Europe's Day of Languages, a radio station in Berlin will broadcast its morning show next week entirely in Latin. Which should be fun to listen to for about XV minutes."

POEHLER: "Sex and the City author Candace Bushnell is writing a pair of prequel teen novels called 'The Carrie Diaries,' that explore Carrie Bradshaw's formative years in high school, including how she ditched school one day and befriended a forty year old drifter named Samantha."

MEYERS: "A tailor in Serbia in planning to make a pair of pants that are large enough to fit 100 men. The story is detailed in the new movie…'Brotherhood of the Jostling Weiners.'"

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QUOTABLES FROM NBC'S 'LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN' SEPTEMBER 15 – SEPTEMBER 19.
 
"More facts surfacing about Sarah Palin's background every day. Sarah Palin's father says that they shoot 90% of the meat their family eats. The other 10% they hit with their pick-up truck."

"The other day John McCain appeared on the show 'The View,' and one of the hosts accused McCain of being a liar. She may have a point because McCain started the interview by saying, 'Ladies, you look beautiful.'"

"Republican strategist Karl Rove recently said that John McCain's attack ads go too far and aren't truthful. Then Rove said, 'I've never been so proud.'"

"On election day Ralph Nader will appear on the presidential ballot in only 45 states. Nader said, 'This is disappointing, I wanted to embarrass myself in all 50 states.'"

"This weekend in New York City, Gays and Lesbians staged a protest demanding the right to get married. When he heard this, President Bush said, 'Wait a minute, now gays want to marry lesbians?'"

"A new study has found that Mexico is one of the happiest countries in the world. Apparently people from Mexico are happy because most of them get to live in Los Angeles."

"This weekend quarterback Brett Favre lost his first game as a member of the New York Jets. Afterwards, the other Jets said, 'Hey, this new guy is really fitting in.'"

"Yesterday in California, George Takei of 'Star Trek' got married to another man. The priest began the ceremony by saying: 'Dearly beloved, set your phasers to fabulous!'"

"Yesterday, after the Dow Jones industrial average dropped over 500 points President Bush said, 'Adjustments in the financial markets can be painful.' Then he told the American people to bend over."

"An advisor to John McCain claimed today that McCain helped create the Blackberry. Or as McCain calls it, 'The fancy garage-door opener.'

"Speaking of Blackberrys - according to a new poll, the Blackberry is so addictive that 87% of users bring their Blackberrys to their bedrooms. And you know what they say ladies, once you go Blackberry…"

"Barack Obama's campaign just announced that Barbara Streisand will headline an upcoming fundraiser for Obama. After hearing this, John McCain said, 'And he says I'm out of touch with the American people.'"

"A religious leader in Saudi Arabia has denounced Mickey Mouse as tool of Satan. The weird thing is, he has nothing but good things to say about Goofy."

"In Wisconsin, a mother recently posed as her teenage daughter to join the cheerleading squad. School officials became suspicious after the squad's 3rd consecutive cheer about menopause."

"This weekend, the oldest man in New Jersey died at the age of 111. His last words were, 'I'm finally getting the hell out of New Jersey.'"

"This week someone was able to hack into Sarah Palin's Yahoo email account, because she hadn't taken the proper security measures. So it's official, NO ONE in the Palin family uses protection."

"Last night, Barack Obama attended a fundraiser headlined by Barbara Streisand that raised $9 million. This was historic because it's the most money raised in one night and because it was the first time a black man ever attended a Barbara Streisand concert."

"John McCain's wife is angry. Cindy lashed out at the ladies of "The View" after the McCains appeared on the show. In response, Barbara Walters said, 'She's just mad because I dated her husband during the Civil War.'"

"Yesterday in Washington, President Bush met with the cast of the Broadway Musical "The Lion King." There was an awkward moment when Bush called Simba his favorite African leader.

"Earlier today, for a segment on the "Today" show, Kathy Lee Gifford had her make-up removed on the air. As a result, Homeland Security raised the alert level from orange to red."

"Cuba announced that it's going to team up with Russia to build a Cuban space program. Apparently Cuba wants to build a rocket ship that can travel all the way to Miami."

"Speaking of Cuba - A new documentary claims that Fidel Castro has slept with 35,000 women. It turns out Castro didn't want to grow a beard, he just never had time to shave."

"Grizzly Bears have made an impressive comeback in Montana and there are now more Grizzly Bears in that state than there have been in 30 years. Also making a big comeback in Montana – missing hikers."

"A player from the Washington Redskins has issued an apology because he accidentally posted a picture of his penis on the Internet. Which explains today's headline: 'Redskin sorry about foreskin.'"

"Due to the current crisis on Wall Street, President Bush announced just a few hours ago that he's cancelled a trip to Alabama. Bush said, 'Under the circumstances, I didn't think it was right to leave the country.'"

"This Sunday, the entire hour of '60 Minutes' will be devoted to Barack Obama and John McCain. Apparently Barack Obama will be interviewed and John McCain will fill in for Andy Rooney."

"Earlier this week in Colorado, Barack Obama gave a speech in the middle of a rodeo ring. Obama began his speech at the rodeo by saying, 'Hello – I am what is known as "a black guy."'"

"This week someone hacked into Sarah Palin's Yahoo account and read her emails. Reading Palin's emails is a great way to hear what she has to say – without having to listen to her voice."

"A new documentary is claiming that Fidel Castro has slept with 35,000 women. Which means that there are 35,000 women out there with some serious beard rash."

"Jamie Lynn' Spears' mother says she found out her daughter was pregnant when Jamie Lynn wrote her a note. When she saw the note Mrs. Spears was shocked and said, 'When did Jamie Lynn learn to write?'"

"The makers of Legos have announced that they're going to start selling a Lego figure who looks like Angelina Jolie. It's perfect for anyone who likes Angelina Jolie's body – but wishes she had a yellow cylindrical head."

"In California police are looking for a Taco Bell employee who stabbed two men. The men knew something was wrong when they felt a sharp stabbing pain and they hadn't eaten yet."

"This week at the White House, President Bush hosted the final state dinner of his Presidency. Which explains why the First Lady finally let him wear his Burger King crown."

"Barack Obama is so popular in the African town where his father was born that they've named a beer after him. So next time you're in Africa – sit back, relax, and enjoy a tall cold Barachelob Light."

"The group Moveon.org has called on John McCain to release all his medical records. In response, McCain told them, 'Why don't you just come down to the warehouse and look around for yourself.'"

"Cuba announced that they're going to team up with Russia to build a Cuban space program. The country's current space program consists of Cubans trying to swim to the moon."

"According to a new survey, the number of people who use the Internet to search for porn is down 50%. In a related story, the number of liars responding to surveys is up 50%."

"A new study in Britain identifies 9 different types of problem drinkers. And it turns out that 8 of them are Amy Winehouse."

"A new study has found that 52 percent of college women say they would sleep with Angelina Jolie. I'd just like to say, 'prove it'".

"This week, Star Jones had her divorce finalized after reaching an amicable settlement. Afterwards, Star said, 'The last time I left a court that happy, it was a food court.'"

 

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