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Headlines & Links For Thursday, November 26th, 2009.


THE CW ANNOUNCES “THE VAMPIRE DIARIES” WEEK-LONG MARATHON STARTING DEC 14 (Read More)	FOX ANNOUNCES 2009-2010 MIDSEASON SCHEDULE (Read More)	'CHUCK' RETURNS TO NBC ON SUNDAY, JANUARY 10 (Read More)

NBC'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE' CELEBRATES THE HOLIDAY SEASON WITH THREE BACK-TO-BACK SHOWS IN DECEMBER       (Read More)

LISTINGS FOR NBC'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'            (Read More)

CHRISTMAS AT THE WHITE HOUSE: AN OPRAH PRIMETIME SPECIAL            (Read More)

NBC ANNOUNCES BROADCAST OF '62ND PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS' ON SUNDAY, AUGUST 29            (Read More)

Eight Singing Groups Competing for an Epic Records/Sony Recording Contract            (Read More)

NBC ANNOUNCES 'UNITED PLATES OF AMERICA' SERVING UP A CHANCE FOR CONTESTANTS TO CLAIM THE BIGGEST PRIZE IN REALITY SHOW HISTORY             (Read More)

"WWE TRIBUTE TO THE TROOPS" HONORS AMERICAN SERVICE MEN AND WOMEN FOR THE SECOND ANNUAL HOLIDAY SEASON            (Read More)

QUOTABLES FROM "LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON" November 16 - November 20            (Read More)

THE CW ANNOUNCES “THE VAMPIRE DIARIES” WEEK-LONG MARATHON BEGINNING MON., DEC 14

Los Angeles, Ca., November 19, 2009.               The CW Network announced plans for a special Vampire Diaries Marathon starting on Monday, December 14. This week-long event offers fans the opportunity to relive The Vampire Diaries saga from the very beginning and allows the uninitiated the chance to get into one of TV’s breakout hits.

Airing two episodes each night from Monday, Dec. 14 through Friday, Dec. 18 (8:00-10:00p.m. ET/PT) beginning with the season premiere episode, The CW will rebroadcast every episode of its smash hit The Vampire Diaries in consecutive order across its entire primetime schedule that week. After just 10 episodes, The Vampire Diaries has become The CW’s most-watched and highest-rated series among adults 18-34 this season.

Based on the best-selling series of books by L. J. Smith, The Vampire Diaries is the story of two vampire brothers obsessed with the same beautiful girl, and battling to control the fate of an entire town. Beautiful high school student Elena Gilbert (Nina Dobrev, “DeGrassi: The Next Generation”) has no way of knowing that the handsome and mysterious new boy in school, Stefan Salvatore (Paul Wesley, “Mad Men”), is a centuries-old vampire. While Stefan struggles to live peacefully among humans, his older brother Damon (Ian Somerhalder, “Lost”) is the embodiment of vampire violence and brutality. Now these two vampire brothers - one good, one evil - are at war for Elena’s soul and for the souls of her friends, family and all the residents of the small town of Mystic Falls.

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FOX ANNOUNCES 2009-2010 MIDSEASON SCHEDULE

Los Angeles, Ca., November 24th, 2009.           FOX is announcing premiere dates of new and returning series as well as revisions to its 2009-2010 midseason schedule. FOX also has ordered a full season of the sophomore drama LIE TO ME.

January starts off on a high note when the ninth season of AMERICAN IDOL, television's No. 1 series, begins with a two-night premiere Tuesday, Jan. 12 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) and Wednesday, Jan. 13 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT). Immediately following AMERICAN IDOL on Jan. 13 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT), FOX unveils the not-to-be-missed series debut of OUR LITTLE GENIUS, a new unscripted series that features America's most gifted kids as they are tested with some of the most challenging and difficult questions that only a remarkable little genius could answer.

A special extended primetime event on Sunday, Jan. 17 kicks off with the NFC DIVISIONAL PLAYOFF (4:00 PM-CC ET live/1:00 PM-CC PT live), which leads into the explosive series preview of HUMAN TARGET (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT), the new full-throttle, action-packed drama about a unique private contractor (Mark Valley) who will stop at nothing even if it means becoming a human target to save his clients. The special primetime event concludes with the first installment of the pulse-pounding two-night, four-hour premiere of 24 (9:00-11:00 PM ET/PT). The season premiere of 24 clocks in for two more hours of action Monday, Jan. 18 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT), and the season premiere of HUMAN TARGET airs Wednesday, Jan. 20 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) following AMERICAN IDOL (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT).

On Sunday, Jan. 10, FOX presents a special SIMPSONS event beginning with the animated series' milestone 450th episode, Once Upon a Time in Springfield (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT), in which BART (Nancy Cartwright) and MILHOUSE (Pamela Hayden) try to help KRUSTY (Dan Castellaneta) regain his popularity after network executives force him to restructure the format of his television show by hiring a female sidekick, PRINCESS PENELOPE (guest voice Anne Hathaway). Then, Academy Award-nominated filmmaker Morgan Spurlock (Super Size Me, 30 Days) will present The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special: in 3-D! on Ice! (8:30-9:30 PM ET/PT). The documentary special examines the global phenomenon that is THE SIMPSONS and serves as the momentous conclusion to the Best. 20 Years. Ever., a year-long global celebration of THE SIMPSONS that launched in January 2009.

Chef Gordon Ramsay steps out of his own kitchen to serve up a new season of KITCHEN NIGHTMARES on Friday, Jan. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT). Each week, Chef Ramsay will try to help turn around some of the most unsanitary and unsuccessful restaurants in New York, New Jersey, Florida and California on the verge of closing their doors forever.

PAST LIFE, a new drama series inspired by the book The Reincarnationist about detectives who investigate the world of the unexplained, will bow with a two-hour series premiere Thursday, Feb. 11 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) and will make its time period premiere Thursday, Feb. 18 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT).

SONS OF TUCSON, the new family comedy from Justin Berfield (Malcolm in the Middle), Emmy Award winner Todd Holland (Wonderfalls) and Matthew Carlson (Samantha Who?) about three young brothers who hire a charming, wayward schemer to stand in as their father when their real one goes to prison, debuts Sunday, March 14 (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT).

AMERICAN IDOL sings on Tuesdays (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) when it makes its time period premiere Jan. 19 followed by the time period premiere of OUR LITTLE GENIUS (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT), and 24 syncs up for its time period premiere Monday, Jan. 25 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT).

After its fall finale Wednesday, Dec. 9 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT), GLEE returns from its interlude with a score of all-new episodes on a new night beginning Tuesday, April 13 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT). FRINGE delves into its winter finale Thursday, Feb. 4 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) and then resurfaces with new cases beginning Thursday, April 1 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT). Joss Whedon's DOLLHOUSE goes out with a bang with its series finale Friday, Jan. 22 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT).

RECAP FOX 2009-2010 MIDSEASON SCHEDULE

(All times ET/PT except as noted)

MONDAY

Monday, Jan. 4:

7:30 PM-CC ET            TOSTITOS FIESTA BOWL (LIVE)

Monday, Jan. 18:

8:00-10:00 PM             24 (2-Night / 4-Hour Season Premiere, Part 2)

Mondays, beginning Jan. 25:

8:00-9:00 PM            HOUSE

9:00-10:00 PM            24 (Time Period Premiere)

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TUESDAY

Tuesday, Jan. 5:

7:30 PM-CC ET            FEDEX ORANGE BOWL (LIVE)

Tuesday, Jan. 12:

8:00-10:00 PM            AMERICAN IDOL (Season Premiere, Part 1)

Tuesdays, beginning Jan. 19:

8:00-9:00 PM            AMERICAN IDOL (Time Period Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM            OUR LITTLE GENIUS (Time Period Premiere)

Tuesdays, beginning April 13:

8:00-9:00 PM            AMERICAN IDOL

9:00-10:00 PM            GLEE (Time Period Premiere)

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WEDNESDAY

Wednesday, Jan. 13:

8:00-9:00 PM            AMERICAN IDOL (Season Premiere, Part 2)

9:00-10:00 PM            OUR LITTLE GENIUS (Series Premiere)

Wednesdays, beginning Jan. 20:

8:00-9:00 PM            AMERICAN IDOL

9:00-10:00 PM            HUMAN TARGET (Series Premiere)

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THURSDAY

Thursdays, beginning Jan. 14 (no change to lineup):

8:00-9:00 PM            BONES (All-New Episodes)

9:00-10:00 PM            FRINGE (All-New Episodes)

Thursday, Feb. 4:

8:00-9:00 PM            BONES

9:00-10:00 PM            FRINGE (Winter Finale)

Thursday, Feb. 11:

8:00-10:00 PM            PAST LIFE (Two-Hour Series Premiere)

Thursdays, beginning Feb. 18:

8:00-9:00 PM             BONES

9:00-10:00 PM            PAST LIFE (Time Period Premiere)

Thursdays, beginning April 1:

8:00-9:00 PM            BONES

9:00-10:00 PM            FRINGE (Time Period Premiere)

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FRIDAY

Friday, Jan. 1:

8:00 PM-CC ET            ALLSTATE SUGAR BOWL (LIVE)

Fridays, beginning Jan. 8:

8:00-9:00 PM            BONES (Encore Episodes)

9:00-10:00 PM            DOLLHOUSE (All-New Episodes)

Friday, Jan. 22:

8:00-9:00 PM            BONES (Encore Episode)

9:00-10:00 PM            DOLLHOUSE (Series Finale)

Fridays, beginning Jan. 29:

8:00-9:00 PM             HOUSE (Encore Episodes)

9:00-10:00 PM            KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (Season Premiere)

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SATURDAY

Saturdays (no change to lineup):

8:00-8:30 PM             COPS

8:30-9:00 PM            COPS

9:00-10:00 PM            AMERICA'S MOST WANTED

11:00 PM-Midnight            THE WANDA SYKES SHOW

Midnight-12:30 AM       SIT DOWN, SHUT UP

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SUNDAY

Sunday, Jan. 10:

8:00-8:30 PM            THE SIMPSONS (450th Milestone Episode)

8:30-9:30 PM            THE SIMPSONS 20TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL: IN 3-D! ON ICE!

9:30-10:00 PM             THE CLEVELAND SHOW

Sunday, Jan. 17:

4:00 PM-CC ET            NFC DIVISIONAL PLAYOFF (LIVE)

8:00-9:00 PM             HUMAN TARGET (Series Preview)

9:00-11:00 PM             24 (2-Night / 4-Hour Season Premiere, Part 1)

Sunday, Jan. 24:

6:00 PM-CC ET            NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME (LIVE)

Sundays, beginning Jan. 31 (no change to lineup):

8:00-8:30 PM            THE SIMPSONS (All-New Episodes)

8:30-9:00 PM             THE CLEVELAND SHOW (All-New Episodes)

9:00-9:30 PM            FAMILY GUY (All-New Episodes)

9:30-10:00 PM            AMERICAN DAD (All-New Episodes)

Sunday, March 14:

8:00-8:30 PM            THE SIMPSONS

8:30-9:00 PM             SONS OF TUCSON (Series Premiere)

9:00-9:30 PM            FAMILY GUY

9:30-10:00 PM            THE CLEVELAND SHOW (Time Period Premiere)

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'CHUCK' RETURNS TO NBC ON SUNDAY, JANUARY 10 BEFORE MOVING TO REGULAR DAY AND TIME (MONDAYS, 8-9 P.M. ET) BEGINNING JANUARY 11

Universal City, Ca., November 19, 2009. NBC's action-comedy series "Chuck" returns to the NBC lineup on Sunday, January 10 with all-new missions and two action-packed, back-to-back original episodes in its season premiere (9-11 p.m. ET) before the series -- starring Zachary Levi in the title role -- moves to its regular day and time (Mondays 8-9 p.m. ET) beginning January 11.

In addition, "Chuck" returns with guest stars galore in its third season. These include: Angie Harmon (NBC's "Law & Order"), who will play Sydney, an enemy operative; Brandon Routh ("Superman Returns"), who is set to play CIA Agent Daniel Shaw; Robert Patrick ("Terminator 2: Judgment Day") will play Colonel Keller, a soldier and spy from Casey's past; Kristin Kreuk ("Smallville"), who will portray Hannah -- a potential love interest for Chuck; Armand Assante ("Judge Dredd") as dictator Premier Goya, who is the target of an assassin; Steve Austin ("WWE Smackdown!") will portray Hugo Panzer, who becomes entangled in Chuck's first solo mission; and Vinnie Jones ("Snatch") will play Carl Stromberg, an arms dealer.

In other programming news, a special two-hour episode of "Heroes" will be broadcast on Monday, January 4 (8-10 p.m. ET) and then the series moves to its new time slot of Mondays (9-10 p.m. ET) starting January 11.

"Josh (Schwartz) and Chris (Fedak) and the writing team are doing a great job this season, and we think the loyal fan base for this show will be happy to see it back on the NBC schedule," said Angela Bromstad, President, Primetime Entertainment, NBC and Universal Media Studios.

In "Chuck," the world's nerdiest secret agent is back in the one-hour action-comedy series. Chuck Bartowski (Levi, "Less Than Perfect") continues as the Buy More electronics store computer geek, who unwittingly becomes the government's most vital secret agent. Chuck is transformed into the Intersect 2.0 after another data download into his brain. This time, he not only knows government secrets, but he is also well equipped with deadly fight skills. Chuck has the potential to become a real agent, but he has one problem -- his emotions. Now he faces the battle of keeping his emotions in check in order to protect himself and the people around him.

The ever stoic Colonel John Casey (Adam Baldwin, "My Bodyguard") returns with partner Sarah Walker (Yvonne Strahovski, "Gone"), one of the CIA's top agents and Chuck's dream girl. As Chuck assumes his new role as the Intersect 2.0, Casey and Sarah need to protect him but also help him become the agent he is destined to be.

Also starring are: Joshua Gomez ("Without a Trace") as Morgan Grimes -- Chuck's best buddy; Sarah Lancaster ("What About Brian?") as Chuck's ever-supportive sister Ellie; Ryan McPartlin ("Living with Fran") as Devon Woodcomb (also known as "Captain Awesome"), Ellie's husband. Chuck's Buy More team consists of Big Mike (Mark Christopher Lawrence, "The Pursuit of Happyness") and the Nerd Herd, which includes Lester (Vik Sahay, "Time Bomb") and Jeff (Scott Krinsky, "The O.C.").

Fans of "Chuck" can catch up on full episodes from the series' recent second season, watch original web series and share with fans on the official "Chuck" website on NBC.com.

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NBC'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE' CELEBRATES THE HOLIDAY SEASON WITH THREE BACK-TO-BACK SHOWS IN DECEMBER

New York, N.Y., November 25th, 2009.                "Saturday Night Live" rings in the holiday season with original shows on three consecutive weekends, beginning December 5 with Blake Lively and Rihanna both taking the stage in studio 8H for the first time.

Blake Lively currently stars in the feature film "The Private Lives of Pippa Lee" and the hit show, "Gossip Girl," and just finished filming "The Town," directed by Ben Affleck with a September 2010 release date. Blake achieved early success in 2005 with her role in the bestselling novel adapted to feature films, "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants," and "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2."

Multi-platinum superstar Rihanna, who received countless awards and nominations, recently released her highly anticipated and critically acclaimed fourth studio album, 'Rated R,' with her singles, "Russian Roulette" and "Hard" featuring Jeezy already climbing the charts. One of her most notable singles, 'Umbrella,' off her third studio album, "Good Girl Gone Bad," dominated the U.S. pop, urban, and crossover Billboard charts in 2007.

"Twilight" and "New Moon" star Taylor Lautner will make his hosting debut December 12, with musical guest the Grammy Award-winning band Bon Jovi. "New Moon" made box office history with the biggest single opening day. Lautner can be seen next in the romantic comedy "Valentines Day," due out February 2010.

Bon Jovi is returning for their fifth appearance on SNL and will be performing songs from their latest #1 album, The Circle. Bon Jovi has set the standard for more than two decades as one of the most successful rock bands in the world. Globally, the Grammy Award-winning band has sold more than 120 million albums and performed more than 2,600 concerts in over 50 countries for more than 34 million fans.

On December 19, James Franco makes his second appearance as host of SNL, with musical guest British rock trio Muse. Franco recently completed production on Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman's "Howl" and is next set to star alongside Danny McBride and Natalie Portman in David Gordon Green's "Your Highness." Franco's metamorphosis into the title role of the TNT biopic "James Dean" earned him career-making reviews, as well as a Golden Globe for "Best Actor in a Motion Picture made for Television." Franco credits includes "Milk," "Pineapple Express," in which he was nominated for a Golden Globe, the "SpiderMan" trilogy and "In The Valley of Elah."

Muse released their fifth album, "The Resistance," on September 15th earning them their highest ever debut on the Billboard Top 200 album chart by bowing at No. 3. The debut single from the album, "Uprising," is currently Number One on the Alternative Radio chart and has been for the last 12 weeks. The band has headlined both Lollapalooza and Austin City Limits Music Festivals and sold out New York City's legendary Madison Square Garden and The Forum in Los Angeles. The band will tour the United States beginning February 2010.

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LISTINGS FOR NBC'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'

November 28 - Gerard Butler/ Shakira (originally aired 10/17/09)

December 5 - Blake Lively/ Rihanna

December 12 - Taylor Lautner/ Bon Jovi

December 19 - James Franco/ Muse

December 26 - Taylor Swift/Taylor Swift (originally aired 11/7/09)

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CHRISTMAS AT THE WHITE HOUSE: AN OPRAH PRIMETIME SPECIAL

Chicago, Ill., November 25th, 2009.               Oprah Winfrey will usher in the holidays at the White House, visiting President Obama and the First Lady as they prepare for their family's first Christmas there, on "Christmas at the White House: An Oprah Primetime Special," airing SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13 (10:00-11:00 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network.

The intimate, informative and entertaining hour-long special will include a one-on-one conversation with the President, marking the first time Oprah has interviewed him since he took office, as well as an exclusive sit-down interview with the First Couple. The special will showcase behind-the-scenes preparations as the White House gets ready for the holiday season.

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NBC ANNOUNCES BROADCAST OF '62ND PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS' ON SUNDAY, AUGUST 29

Universal City, Ca., November 18th, 2009.               NBC will broadcast the "62nd Primetime Emmy? Awards" live on Sunday, August 29 (8-11 p.m. ET; other time zones delayed), it was announced today by Paul Telegdy, Executive Vice President, Alternative Programming, NBC and Universal Media Studios.

"NBC is excited to host television's biggest night with the Primetime Emmy Awards," said Telegdy. "Scheduling and announcing the telecast for August 29 this early in the awards cycle will give the Television Academy and NBC a head start on creative discussions."

The first time NBC broadcast the Primetime Emmy Awards on August 27, 2006 -- due to the scheduling of the network's popular NFL Football franchise Sunday nights in September -- it was the highest-rated entertainment program of that summer. It still ranks as the highest-rated Emmy Awards telecast of the past four years.

Nominations for the "62nd Primetime Emmy Awards" will be announced Thursday, July 8 at 5:40 a.m. (PT) from the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences' Leonard H. Goldenson Theatre in North Hollywood, Calif.

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Eight Singing Groups Competing for an Epic Records/Sony Recording Contract

Universal City, Ca., November 23rd, 2009.               Multi-platinum recording artist Nick Lachey is set to host NBC's upcoming a cappella singing competition series, "The Sing-Off," a four night holiday event premiering Monday, December 14 (8-10 p.m. ET). The one-of-a-kind battle of voices will continue on December 15 and 16, culminating in a live finale on December 21 (each night 8-10 p.m. ET).

Celebrity judges set to critique the singing groups with their expertise are Ben Folds (Ben Folds Five), Shawn Stockman (Boyz II Men) and a rotating third judge who will be announced each night.

Eight a cappella groups will be competing in the competition for a $100,000 prize and an Epic Records/Sony recording contract. The a cappella groups competing include: Beelzebubs from Boston, Massachusetts; Noteworthy from Provo, Utah; Face from Boulder, Colorado; Maxx Factor from Baltimore, Maryland; Nota from San Juan Puerto Rico; The SoCals from Los Angeles, California; Solo from Omaha, Nebraska and Voices of Lee from Cleveland, Tennessee.

Lachey's stardom as a singer began as the writer and front man of the band 98 Degrees, selling millions of albums worldwide and charting several top-forty hits. He is currently putting the finishing touches on his highly anticipated third solo album "Coming Up For Air," which is set to be released in 2010.

Helping to guide the vocal talents of each group is Ben Folds, an American singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and former front man of the band Ben Folds Five. Folds, released an a cappella album earlier this year, which features the top collegiate a cappella groups from around the country. Also, on hand will be Shawn Stockman, an R&B singer who is best known from the vocal group Boyz II Men.

"The Sing-Off" will feature the a cappella groups performing popular songs from various genres, arranged and sung like you've never heard before. There is no lip-synching, back-up band or safety net. Ultimately America will decide the winning group.

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NBC ANNOUNCES 'UNITED PLATES OF AMERICA' SERVING UP A CHANCE FOR CONTESTANTS TO CLAIM THE BIGGEST PRIZE IN REALITY SHOW HISTORY

Universal City, Ca., November 19th, 2009.               NBC announced today the new alternative-competitive series "United Plates of America" (working title) - from Magical Elves the Emmy Award-nominated producers of "Project Runway" and "Top Chef" -- that will allow contestants to vie for arguably the biggest prize in reality show history -- the opportunity to open a new restaurant chain in four cities across America.

The contestants' fate will be decided by a panel of real investors who fund the chain of restaurants with their own money. As the competitors chase their American dream, viewers will also be fully engaged with interactive elements online at nbc.com.

The announcement was made by Paul Telegdy, Executive Vice President, Alternative Programming, NBC and Universal Media Studios.

"This is the first time the culinary and business worlds have come together in a big event series where the prize is one of the largest in reality TV history," said Telegdy. "Not only will viewers get to watch the competition unfold, they'll be able to eat at the winning restaurant immediately after the show's finale."

"This show is going to make the American Dream come true for someone out there - all they need is one great idea," said executive producer Dan Cutforth.

Added executive producer, Jane Lipsitz, "With a prize of this magnitude, we believe this show will bring together everything we love about reality TV; creative passionate contestants, a dynamic panel of experts, and fierce competition."

"United Plates of America" challenges its creative and ambitious contestants to realize their dream of opening the next great restaurant. However, achieving that goal requires substantial financial backing and business connections that few people can claim.

The winner will be selected by a panel of some of the most important names in both the dining and business worlds who will invest their own money in the final restaurant chain and have a huge stake in the game's winner. Thousands of ideas will be narrowed down as each week the investors will put the chosen few through rigorous challenges to discover whose plan has the greatest potential for success. The stakes have never been higher for the contestants and the investors. The series will showcase larger-than-life personalities who will offer the hopeful restaurateurs expertise, support -- and the kind of tough love it will take to overcome great odds. Ultimately, after a much-heated debate, the panel will choose the winning concept and decide whose idea will be America's newest restaurant.

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"WWE TRIBUTE TO THE TROOPS" HONORS AMERICAN SERVICE MEN AND WOMEN FOR THE SECOND ANNUAL HOLIDAY SEASON

New York, N.Y., November 24th, 2009.               World Wrestling Entertainment? and NBC will, once again, honor the members of the United States Armed Forces during its second annual holiday special, "WWE Tribute to the Troops." The hour-long special will air Saturday, December 19 (9pm/8c) on NBC.

Following an entertainment tradition established by Bob Hope, WWE Superstars and Divas will head to Iraq this holiday season to put a smile on the faces of the troops serving in the U.S. military and to give thanks for their commitment to our country. This trip marks the seventh consecutive year that WWE? will make its annual pilgrimage to the front lines.

"WWE Tribute to the Troops" is a heart-warming special that chronicles the WWE Superstars and Divas' visit and time spent with American service men and women at forward operating bases. The program culminates with a live performance by the WWE Superstars and Divas in a ring, brought specially from the United States to Iraq, in front of thousands of military personnel.

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QUOTABLES FROM "LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON" November 16 - November 20

"During a town hall event in China, President Obama admitted that he's never used Twitter. Even John McCain was like, "Get it together, Grandpa!"

"At a global warming speech on Saturday night Al Gore was heckled by more than 200 protestors in Boca Raton, Florida. It was brutal. You don't want to get heckled in Boca. The crowd chanted: "What do we want? Dinner! When do we want it? Four o'clock!?"

"Hey this is fun, Mattel is coming out with a new line of Barbie dolls based on the characters from the Twilight movies. Taylor Lautner - the werewolf from Twilight - is getting his own Barbie Doll. Yeah, it has cut-off jeans, ripped abs, and a tattoo. Most excited about the doll? Ken. The Taylor Lautner doll has got a special feature, too. During a full moon, it tears the heads off all your other Barbies."

"Last week, an 11-year-old boy in Idaho shot and killed a black bear that wouldn't leave his family's front porch. A Jehovah's Witness at the end of the driveway was like, "Yeah OK, I'll just go to the next house. That's right the boy in shot and killed a black bear on his porch. And right after that, Sarah Palin asked if he wanted to be her running-mate in 2012."

"During a speech at Columbia University, the founder of Microsoft, Bill Gates said that his rival at Apple, Steve Jobs, has "done a fantastic job." Yeah, then Gates froze up and had to be restarted."

"An Airline in Finland is now allowing their frequent flyers to cash in their miles for a boob job. Yeah, now the pilots are like, "In the event of a water-landing, the woman in seat 3-F can be used as a flotation device."

"A New York firefighter was arrested at a Metallica concert at Madison Square Garden after he wouldn't stop screaming and standing on his chair during the show. When are people gonna learn to just sit down, be quiet, and enjoy a Metallica concert?"

And finally, there's a woman in England who suffers from something called, "Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome" giving her she 300 orgasms a day. Well - good news - she said she finally found a man who can satisfy her. Yeah, his name is "Duracell."

"Thousands of screaming fans camped out to see the stars of the new "Twilight" movie walk the red carpet last night. So, my apologies if I sound a little hoarse today."

"The President is in China now and he had 71 cars in his motorcade to drive from the airport to Beijing. 71 cars. One car for the President, two for Secret Service, and then 68 for Obama's advisors on the environment. It was all going fine, until the 34th car drove through a yellow light, left everyone else behind. (No one knew how to get there.)
President Obama had a motrcade of 71 cars. Meanwhile, somewhere in the world, Al Gore shed a single tear. They didn't need 71 cars. Trust me, I've been to China, they can fit 9 guys on a scooter and still have room for a crate of fish."

"While he was there, Obama toured the "Forbidden City," also known as the "Imperial Palace." Bill Clinton once visited the "Forbidden City" and the "Imperial Palace," - but they were both strip clubs in Vegas."

"During her interview on "Oprah," yesterday, Sarah Palin said running for president in 2012 is "not on" her "radar screen right now." Which was really, really upsetting?. for Democrats."

"A new study found that vacuuming can reduce men's sperm count - because they are exposed to electromagnetic fields. Yeah the study was printed in "Best Excuses Ever" Magazine. (You want me to vacuum? Alright, if you don't want kids... I should go play PlayStation?get my sperms ready)."

"Did you hear this? The Oxford Dictionary declared that the 2009 Word of the Year is "Unfriend." To "Unfriend" means to completely delete someone you don't like from your life. Or as CNN calls it, "Lou Dobbs-ing" them. Yeah, "Unfriend" is the Word of the Year. It beat out manscaping, mancave, and lady-boner."

"Nintendo is coming out with a new video game that lets nerds take girls out on dates and kiss them. You can play at three skill levels: beginner, beginner, or beginner. It's a fun game but before you play - a virtual dad comes on and explains about the birds and the "B" buttons."

"A group of scientists in Britain received a $10 million grant to make a Harry Potter-style invisibility cloak. The first thing they're gonna make invisible? That 10 million dollars."

"And finally, Sarah Palin's memoir "Going Rogue" came out today! You can find it on bookshelves next to Levi Johnston's new memoir, "Going Commando."

"Big night on the show tonight - we have Kristin Stewart from the new Twilight movie. When I was walking into the building earlier, hundreds of fans were screaming, "Jimmy! Jimmy! ?Move out of the way so we can see Kristen!"

"Sarah Palin is still dominating the news here! In an interview with Barbara Walters last night - Sarah Palin was asked to rate Obama's performance as President on a scale from 1 to 10. Palin was like, "Oh, that's easy--F." Actually, on a scale from 1 to 10, Palin rated President Obama a "4." Or as Bill Clinton refers to a 4, "totally doable."

"Later in the interview, Palin said that that President Obama's economic plans were "back asswards." Back Asswards. Then Obama said that Sarah Palin is "uckin' funqualified" to be talking about it."

"We're celebrating NBC's Green Week here at Rockefeller Center. And what better way to celebrate than by ripping a giant tree out of the ground, covering it with lights, and leaving them on for a month?"

"President Obama visited the Great Wall of China. He said, "It's magical. It reminds you of the sweep of history." When George Bush visited, he said, "It's magical. It reminds you of something Spiderman would love to climb."

"In a new interview President Obama said that the people "could lose confidence in the U.S. economy" if our debt continues to grow. And Americans were like, "Uh...way ahead of you, dude."

"A study from the American Exercise Council found that the exercise program on Nintendo's "Wii Fit" amounts to only a "very, very mild workout." This is terrible news for people who really believed they could get in shape doing this. Although, the Exercise Council did agree that the Wii Fit is the perfect workout if you want the body of an Italian plumber. ("Mario")"

"And finally, Beyonce and Lady Gaga just released a new music video called "Video Phone." They wear matching skimpy white bustiers. Beyonce called the oufits - "revealing, yet tasteful"; Gaga called them "business casual."

"Hey guys - "New Moon" came out tonight at midnight. Right now, millions of tweens across the country are packed in theaters watching a late-night screening. And the rest of America's tweens are "never talking to Mom and Dad AGAIN!" (I hate you!)"

"Did you hear about this? In London, two Twilight fans got into an actual fight over the last Robert Pattinson poster, sending one girl to the hospital. But on the bright side- I got my poster."

"During a radio interview this week, Miley Cyrus said she will not see any of the Twilight movies because she doesn't "believe in vampires." Yeah, I don't believe in Ewoks, but somehow I managed to get through "Return of the Jedi. Miley Cyrus doesn't "believe" in vampires. Yeah, I guess they're not as believable as a girl who completely changes her identity by PUTTING ON A WIG."

"Hey guys, President Obama said he "probably won't" read Sarah Palin's new book, because she'll sell enough copies without him. Meanwhile, President Bush said he "probably won't" read Sarah Palin's book because? it's a book."

"The Senate unveiled its own version of the Health Care bill yesterday - it will cost $849 billion and cover 31 million Americans. That's so exciting! That means we're "this close" to having that bill voted on by the Senate, then combined with the bill in the House, then re-voted on again by both houses, and then signed into law? which will take effect in three years. Exciting, right?"

"Kelloggs announced there will be a severe shortage of Eggo Frozen Waffles until next summer because of a flood at one of their factories. They were like, "Sorry, for the time being, you're just gonna have to Leggo."

"On this very day in 1863 - Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address. It began with the phrase "Four score and seven years ago..." which beat out his other opener: "All the Northies in the house go HOOO-OOOH!"

"I don't know if you guys know this but tomorrow is Joe Biden's 67th birthday. Whenever Biden gets a birthday cake, he doesn't blow out the candles. He just talks 'til the candles decide to put themselves out."

"According to the new Time magazine, parents that hover over their children are what experts are now calling "helicopter parents." Meanwhile, parents who never leave on time and lose all your stuff are called "Delta Airlines parents."

"And finally, there's a redesigned McDonalds here in Manhattan with free wi-fi, upholstered vinyl chairs, mood lighting, flat screens, and the employees wear all-black uniforms. Yeah, a McDonald's spokesman is calling it the nicest place ever. ..for homeless people to use the bathroom."

"This is huge news. Oprah Winfrey announced today that she will end her show in 2 years. Women everywhere were devastated by the news. And men everywhere were like: "Who's doing what now? What?" Oprah said her decision to leave her talk show came after "much prayer." I guess the prayers went like this: "Dear God, it's me Oprah." Then God was like, "Are you serious? Guys! Guys! It's Oprah!! I'm a huge fan!"

"Big night at the movies yesterday - "New Moon" made a record $24 million from midnight screenings. In fact, earlier today ?Obama announced his new stimulus plan. It's called, "Twilight 3."

"Scientists in the Netherlands have begun the process of growing artificial meat in labs. I guess in the Netherlands, "labs" is another word for "Arby's."

"This is scary. A new report from America's Health Ratings found that 43% of Americans will be obese by the year 2018. But I think - if we all focus and work really hard - we can do it by 2017, guys, right? (Let's do this. Fat hands across America.)"

"And finally, a man in Minnesota said he spoke only "Klingon" to his son for the first three years of his life. Wow, I can't believe that - a guy who speaks Klingon actually has sex."

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